Am i deceiving my family by not telling them i am gay? Is it wrong because i am a Jehovahs Witness.?

Answer 1

This is a tough question and deserves a good competent answer.

First question "Am i deceiving my family by not telling them i am gay?" Just by the way you worded the question unfortunately the answer is yes, You are deceiving them. "truth left unsaid is a lie"

Second Question "Is it wrong because i am a Jehovah's Witness.?" It would be wrong even if you were not a Witness.
Lying never solves any problem.

Now for the real questions. How old are you? 13-18? How do you know you are gay? Have you had sexual contact with a member of the same sex? Or are these simply thoughts that occur to you.? and cause confusion. Are you baptized?
If you are under 18 then your parents are legally responsible for you and must provide the basic necessities of life, shelter, clothing, food and an education. The next couple of questions you will have to answer for yourself. The baptized one is a tough one. If you have never had sexual relations of any-kind and you are single you are still in the clear and can with a clear conscious know that according to theocratic teachings you have not "sinned". But if you have then again, according to theocratic teachings, you have "sinned". Don't go off the deep end if you have. You cannot change what has happened. You can change what will happen in the future.
Here is the dilemma that you face. Do you love Jehovah more than your sexual preference? Tough question I know. Is Jehovah real to you to the extent that you have a real personal relationship with him? If in your heart you can say yes then you need to place your burdons on him in prayer. Ask for the strength to live with these feelings and not act on them. I know you are saying "Yeah easy for him to say he is just answering some poor fool kids questions and doesn't even know him" Wrong. I know you and what you are going through because I was in your position 40 years ago. What did I do? I left the Truth. Spent 4 years with a lover. Another 2 after he broke it off looking for another LTR. Found a woman who was a very loving person and ended up getting married. What have I done about my homosexual feelings. Buried them as well as I can. What about the truth. Got baptised in 1995. Am a brother in good standing. Do I have trouble I'd be lying if I didn't say I did. Am I happy. I really don't know. There are times when I am sad and others when I am happy. But this system does that to everyone. Do I give strange advise to young people about homosexuality? Being different than others makes it difficult for a person to live. Being homosexual in a "different" religious group is even more difficult. Being a young person and being in this type of sitituation is next to impossible.

Should you tell your parents? I didn't. I knew at age ten I was
"different" It wasn't until I understood what it was that I realized the delmema I was in. I stayed at home unitl I was 18. Went to college, earned a degree and have been able to take care of my family. If you do tell them and you are under 18 then there is not much they can do except wait until you are 18 and then ask you to leave. If they freak out and get really out of it, respectfully ask them to send you to foster care. It is one thing to be gay, it is another alltogether to be persecuted in you own home.

You have some tough times ahead. You can either Trust in Jehovah that you will get through this or go out on your own. Either way, the person you are is the person you will be. You must respect yourself and who you are if you are to have a reasonably happy life.

Answer 2

No, you're deceiving yourself by denying that you are. In saying that though, you have to be prepared that if you tell them, you've got a tough road ahead of you. I was brought up as a witness, and I lost all my friends and family when I left (I'm not gay, I just didn't believe what I was being taught). I had a really rough couple of years where I felt guilty about everything I did and missed my old life like crazy. In saying that, after those couple of years, I feel like I'm really happy for the first time in my life because I am being my true self, not pretending to be something I'm not. Another issue you're probably having is that as a witness you are told that the "worldly" lifestyle is promiscuous and seemy - it doesn't have to be like that. I know a lot of very moral people who don't happen to be witnesses. The homosexual lifestyle in particular is really looked down upon, but it's the same with that. There are plenty of monogamous, decent people who happen to be with a same sex partner. I really feel for you, it's not going to be easy, but trust me, down the track you'll be so much happier when you're not trying to meet up to other peoples expectations. Good luck with everything, and if you want to chat, I'd love to talk to you because I know how hard it is for you to admit that you have thoughts that are not in line with everything you've learnt over the years. XXX.

Incidentally, my mum and I are as close as ever now, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Answer 3

First question:

Are you deceiving your family by not telling them you are gay?
Can you ever remember, at any time in your life, when your family came out and told you they were heterosexual? Im going to go out on a limb and say you cant.... and thats probably because they didnt/dont think their sexuality is any of your business. Why is your sexuality any more their business?


Second question:

Is it wrong because you are Jehovahs Witness.?
Thats a question only you can answer. Your relationship with your God is your business and no one else's. If YOU think you do not offend God by being gay then why would you worry about offending anyone else. This is YOUR life.

Answer 4

Hi Lisa, I'm very happy for you, you won't regret dedicating your life to Jehovah. You could explain calmly & tactfully that this is what you want to do, what makes you happy & you've already made your mind up & there's no use trying to deter you. If you are calm but firm & reassure them that you are still the same person but you have found something that's very important to you ..then the ones that respect & care for you will give you less opposition. Please don't allow opposition to put you off. You are aware of where this opposition comes from. There is a strong possibility that some of your family & friends will also come to know Jehovah eventually if you continue progressing in the truth.

Answer 5

You are very wrong to keep this from your family. You need to sit down with them and tell them the truth.
As far as it being wrong because you are a Jehovah Witness, I really don`t think that has anything to do with it. If you gay that is a gene that most people have it is just more prominent in some.

Answer 6

It's not as wrong as being a Jehovah's Witness is. But as long as you are living in their house you need to respect their ways. If you know they can't handle having a gay son, what is the purpose in telling them? It would be nice to know how old you are.

Answer 7

I don't know exactly how the JW's view homosexuality, but I'm sure you will be bad association and probably dis-fellowshipped (excommunicated), which in my opinion wouldn't be a bad thing. You probably are deceiving your family by not telling them but they are deceiving you with their brainwashing (just my opinion). Good luck.

Answer 8

Whoa, you've got two major problems. You say you're gay. As you know, God condems the homosexual lifestyle, not the person who is homosexual. I will spare you my thoughts on the Watchtower teachings. Either way, believer or not, I don't think you ought to keep that from your family unless they will cast you out. We tell our parents many things. Girls who find themselves pregnant turn to their parents for help and support. It's the same for you. However, only you can judge the circumstances in your family and your safety comes first. I suggest you pray to our Lord Jesus Christ to give you wisdom in what to do.

Answer 9

I wouldn't beat yourself up with guilt about deceiving your family. You have enough to deal with as it is.

You are not deceiving them, you're being true to yourself and probably feel that you are protecting them; and protecting yourself from the possible rejection.

I guess you just have to ask yourself if it's worth the risk of telling them. If not, you can continue on the way you are but you can't dwell on the guilt.

Good luck to you ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Answer 10

You are not only deceiving your family by not telling them, you are deceiving yourself. Being gay is never wrong, no matter what religion you are. Tell your family so you can go about living your life unsheltered and true to yourself. Who you love shouldn't be their area of your life to criticize (if they disapprove).