a certain person who attends the same church as me and my husband constantly asked him to do her favors.she knows me just as well as my husband but she always ask him.she has had opportunity to ask me as well but she doesnt.she will call my house and speak to him never acknowledging me.i feel it is up to my husband to say to her why dont you ask my wife.me as knowing that everything should be done in decency and order would have told the person after the first time that you must speak with my husband about this or that.i am truly hurt about this because he doesnt think enough of me to defend me as his wife.if anyone comes to me mainly from the opposite sex my first thoughts are how would my husband feel.he comes first.please serious answers only.and if you say confront the woman i dont blame her because she only did what he allowed her to do.
2007-04-24 13:30:43 · 15 answers · asked by jesuschild379 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Next time she ask your husband to do something, just in a nice way say I could probably help you so I will do it for you. If she refuses your help then the husband needs to back off. It could be he is by her this way because of going to the same church, but also she needs to understand this is not the christian way to live. Don't hold a grudge for her or the husband, just pray about it and leave it in his hands.
2007-04-24 14:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband a pastor or leader of a group within the church? If he is then he has to uphold his office.
But if not and you have already approached him with your concerns, your next step would be to go over his. Talk to the pastor's wife about your concerns and how she deals with it.
If she tells you to talk to the pastor ask him what you need to do.
Your husband might be using church to cover up a "fling" hoping you won't catch on. If it gets back to his pastor, either it'll go away or "the good old boys" club will paint you as the culprit and a gossip.
Remember serving God is your own free-will, there are no guarantees. That's why temptation of the flesh is the enemy of your soul. Watch out, sometimes there are sheep's in wolves' clothing. They've been doing things one way for so long, their ready to try on something new (or old).
Are there concern's about a shady past? Could be the old bones creeping up from the graveyard (7 x more than the last time). Just keep a close eye, fast and pray for him daily, he's going to need your strength too, if it's what it is.
Just some ideas, prayer will help.
2007-04-24 22:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by phil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the issue here is not so much that she asks your husband for favours. It is more your husband has not recognised this person is ignoring you. How old is this person? Older or younger than you? If she is older then she may consider it more appropriate to speak with your husband. If younger then she may have an infatuation with him. How long have you been married?
It would seem your husband is totally unaware of the situation or is flattered by it.
You need to speak with your husband and just ask him "I wonder why she asks you to do things for her when I could do them". Have you noticed how she does not even speak to me on the telephone, I think this is not showing respect for US.
When you say something that includes your husband he should recognise that it is not a 'healthy' situation for either of you.
Different people have different views on what is correct behaviour and what isn't. This may be one of those times where you need to let both people know that you wish to be recognised and respected by them.
Speak up for yourself, no one else will as they do not see what you see.
Good luck.
2007-04-24 20:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so right... It is your Husband's place to back off from this person and stop being her Handy-man, or making himself so available. GOD says: "Abstain from the appearances OF Evil. " IN other words, if it doesn't look right or sound right> It isn't. And Satan Can Set A Trap for Him, that can Rock His World. And he will do it >just to try and break up your Home. Wake UP Hubby, You got a good Christian Women who loves you, and would like to Keep her Vows. But you must be on the same page/./. You pray about this, ASK GOD TO OPEN HIS EYES FOR YOU, And put a new Fire in His Heart Towards you...
2007-04-24 20:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by minnetta c 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All parties have flaws.
The caller lacks sensitivity and at least guilty of poor manners in dealing with a couple.
The husband lacks tacts. He can bring you there to do whatever tasks so there is no misunderstanding and then make reference to the fact that his wife might be more available.
The wife is too sensitive and takes things personally but relies on the husband to defend her. What is there to defend? You have NOT been attacked, just bruised ego.
2007-04-24 20:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You start this off by saying you are christian and some one from church. In my home town, if you wanted to score drugs or sex you went over to the Catholic girls high school and it was almost guaranteed you would score. Your christian friends is trying to husstle your husband and he is lapping it up. Do not deal with people as you would like them to deal with you. You may be a wonderful straight forward christian person. The people you are describing are one step from sl-t. Deal with them on that level.
2007-04-24 21:07:32 · answer #6 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, You are right in feeling disrespected.. i understand how you feel. I would be a little more than irritated. Just by reading what you said though-it is very obvious that you have a fear of confrontation. You must let this woman, ever so sisterly know, that you feel dierespected by her actions, and ask in love-that she stop.As you stated, she has very blatantly disrespected you, as his wife. You will not stand up for yourself, so this woman, thinks it is fine to do.
As for your husband, he needs to respect your feelings, and you have every right to be upset with him. ..You should let "Sista always needing sumthin" know , you do not appreciate it.
2007-04-24 20:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by milkmansbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront your husband and tell him what's on your mind. You may be a christian but your husband and this other woman isn't. And I'm sure Christ would not have a problem with you standing up for yourself and your marriage. good luck
2007-04-24 20:43:28 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly E 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, i come from a Christian family and uphold a Christ filled home. She is crossing boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. The Bible says that women should not be consoling men and vice versa. She may not be consoling him, but she is at the point of disrespecting your marriage. As women, we must guard our heart and emotions from outside temptations, and men must control what their eyes see. Tell your husband that she is overstepping boundaries in your marriage. But as a woman, i would tell her that she needs to stop asking your husband for favors
2007-04-24 20:39:25 · answer #9 · answered by sewingmom 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well first u should tell ur husband that his act is hurting u and how u feel about him always helping her and talking to on the phone and also talk to the woman and make her understand that he is ur husband and that she needs to understand that ..If u only think of ur husband that how would he feel if u did the same than I guess it's time ur showed him the mirror that ur feelings r getting hurt
2007-04-24 20:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by kajal c 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋