i have just started dating this guy and he used to be a friend of the family and now they all hate him and they dont know i am dating him what do i do ( considering that the last time my family took a dislike to my man my dad wanted to kill him phsical ) i need advice
2007-04-24 12:31:17 · 15 answers · asked by wendy d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
run off to vegas with him, and have your husband be an elvis impersonator, then if your pa kills him, at least the kids will have insurance.
2007-04-24 12:36:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you are younger than 18 you may be wise to follow your family's advice. If he is much older than you that could be enough to cause a problem with your parents.
Consider why your family does not like him. Did he do something illegal? Was it just because of gossip? Consider that if they think he did something bad you will not have an easy time.
Sometimes we can get blinded by lust. And sometimes it is the real thing.
Assuming you are over 18 and he has not done anything illegal:
Give it time. If in a few months your relationship with him becomes more serious, then you might want to start bringing him up with your family in conversations, and eventually tell the person you are closest to (a sister?) about him and ask her advice. If he is a good guy your family will come around.
2007-04-24 12:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, why do they hate him? If they don't know the 2 of you are dating then it must be another reason that they hate him so much. I can tell you from my own experiences that I have found if my whole family hates a guy I am dating there is usually a reason and I totally trust my family's opinion now. They always turned out to be right, so now, I base my relationships off whether or not my family does like the guy. Family is more important, and normally they do know what is best!!
2007-04-24 12:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know...I have to wonder what it was that this boy did, to elicit such a response from your family members. I don't know your situation, and I am sure you are sincerely fond of this individual. But, family members, in general see more than you. Have you ever heard the term, "love is blind?" Well, its true. Not that it is true in your case, I don't know this. But, I would seriously try to take a step back from your entire situation and ask yourself some important questions.
Why does my family hate him?
Why is this reason so important?
Do I really "love" this individual or am I infatuated?
How old am I? Should I concider my age and my experiences in life, in this matter? Maybe my older family members have some validity to their objections?
Do I really "love" this individual, or is it the "excitement" of being with someone that is "taboo"?
If you believe that your family is truly being unreasonable, I would seek the opinion of someone who is outside the situation, someone that you trust, someone that will keep your issue personal (like a councelor or a clergy), and give them ALL the details within your situation. They will help you come to a decision. But, you will do what you want...just do what is wise for you.
2007-04-24 12:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in kinda a similar situation but not as bad as wanting to kill... well actually im not sure! But at the moment im standing my ground and doing things to make me happy coz at the end of the day family should understand and be happy if your happy right? At the end of the day guys are hard to find and if this one is really worth and special then dont EVER let him go for a small reason like that but also if he aint worth the hassle then dont bother! End of the day the choice is urs !!
Good Luck
2007-04-24 12:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by zara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you wanted to take a short cut this time and start off with a guy they already disliked instead of waiting for them to take a dislike to a guy. I guess it is the thrill of the sneaking around that turns you on.
I bet all your friends think you are super cool because you tell them all your adventure and use them as alibis to lie to your parents for your escapades.
I don't blame you for being rebellious. After all who are your parents to try to keep you well respected and watch out that you don't get in with the wrong crowd. If you want everyone to think of you as being sort of trashy that is your business. After all the girls with a reputation for being easy get more dates.
Now that the weather is warming up maybe you could talk your parents into letting you spend the weekend with one of your girlfriends and you and this guy could go camping. That way he wouldn't be out much money and the two of you could get a chance to have a lot of sex.
2007-04-24 12:50:12 · answer #6 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well has your boyfriend done something in the past that your family does not like? I'm pretty sure that there is a valid reason as to why your family does not like him. If that's not the case then you date whom ever you want, but be careful. You have parents for a reason.
2007-04-24 12:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by alexbeauty333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should listen to your family. I am sure they only have your best interest at heart. I think it is easy to see past someones faults when you like them. After all your family will be there in your life a lot longer than some guy that probably isn't worth your time anyways.
2007-04-24 12:37:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♥itsme♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok does he beat you? does he abuse you in anyway? does he hurt you ie name calling? no? well i think your family need to step back! if he takes care of you and does right by you what else do you need. beleive it or not my dad hates my boyfriend with a passion-for no reason. he offered me £1,000 to dump him and i refused, so he asked my bro to beat him up but he didn't. i've been with him now over 6 yrs and dad refuses to have him in the house or take phone calls from him. my mum doesn't say anything as she thinks if i'm makin the wrong choice i should find out for myself. talk to a member of your family that doesn't hate him too much.
2007-04-24 13:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by strigoi12003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well think about why they don't like him and if it is something that they can't get over and would be a problem in your relationship then maybe you shouldn't be with him. But then again you have to think that your the one dating him not your family. Ask yourself is he worth the trouble?
2007-04-24 12:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by Josie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him enough you will let nothing come between you, i was also in this type of situation once, my gf's dad liked me at first then all of a sudden he went physco and HATED my guts, he threatened to kill me a few times, tried to put me in jail once but i didnt give up on her and to this day we have been together for about 6 years now, your family will learn to accept him if they value your feelings and opinion at all, and btw the age doesnt really matter at all we were at the ages of 12/14 when this occured
2007-04-24 12:48:54 · answer #11 · answered by eclipse555 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋