I am happy with how my life turned out, my realitives are not, how do I handle them?

Question

I am happy with how my life turned out and my realitives are not and they keep discussing the "bad things" about my life and I am tired of hearing it from them, because these "bad things" are non issues with me.
I stood up to these people last night for the first time. Everytime we are togehter I hear them repeat (like parrots) these "bad things" and ask me questions about them, that I have answered 1000 times (and they can't seem to remember my answer).
So when they were verbally attacking me (again) last night, I said, "I do not want to talk about (blank), let's talk about about my decision to return to school for further education". And it worked, they closed their traps. However the conversation about the positive things in my life was short lived. I was then asked what degree I was going to school for, as I began to reply I was cut off and never got to tell them.
I don't know how they are going to act in the future, will they continue with their old ways or not.

Answer 1

Hopefully, you can retrain them. Seriously. You will have to repeat what you said last night until they understand that you really will NOT talk about the negative things Eventually, they should get the point. If they don't, they're simply mean.

. I have six kids and I'm a ******, I admit. I love to give advice... so here I am :-) My kids, on occasion, have told me , "Mom, I just don't want to talk about that. Lets not ruin the moment". I've become used to that. LOL I just want to fix them, or fix the situation they're in. It's a mom thing for me to want to fix my kids' lives. I realize that sometimes they don't want my advice and now we have an understanding that if I'm going to frustrate them, they need to tell me right away that "that's not open to discussion". I shrug and move on to another subject. The kids are happier and we're able to enjoy each others company more. I didn't realize what a drag I was being.

Answer 2

Hi there! So your are, "Happy with how my life turned out", Why? Is your Life Over? Or, Is the Best yet to come? Verbal attacks and arguments bring no positive results. If your goals are bringing about positive and productive results for you and your significant others, keep your goals in sight and work on them. I have found it that with some people, communication is not possible, those persons I avoid, and if and when I find myself near them, my only obligations is to be civil and treat them with good manners.

Answer 3

There are some people who will continue to live in your past. Thank goodness you don't have to live there anymore. It can get tricky with family members. I know what works for me is SHORT visits with those family members who's memory is like an elephant. I have learned that I can still be around those people for short periods of time, and yet still remain unaffected. The trick is to just let them be. You cannot change them. You can, however, change yourself. Don't expect approval from them, and you will not be so hurt.

Answer 4

wow, these people are poison. why don't you just tell them that you have to give up the visits until they can hold two-way conversations without attacking or interrupting you. show 'em a little "tough love" and see how THEY like it. You can't just continue to get emotionally beat up and standing up to it was totally the right thing. However, family IS important so you will also have to plan a way to connect again after they understand.

Answer 5

Some people like to live in the past and dwell on the negatives of life. Who cares what you were like before? If you made a change for the better, continue to forge on! To quote one of my favorite lines in a song: "People can change. They always do. Haven't they noticed the changes in you?" Obviously the people in your life have not noticed.

You tried to change the subject, you tried to talk to these people, so please congratulate yourself on that. If they bring you down, then try to separate yourself from their negativity. You are happy. That is all that matters.

Answer 6

I would avoid them as much as possible. Some people thrive on negativity and that negativity tends to rub off on others. Tell them you refuse to discuss it any further and stick to your word. Maybe they'll catch on and they will miss your company and change. This is what I did with my family and it worked. Of course, they all thought I was crazy, but they eventually came around and now they don't bring up any negativity around me.

Answer 7

How you doing?

Always remember you can't please anyone but yourself! Damn them and do you baby! If all they are concern about is how bad things WERE and not what you are trying to do positive with your life then I feel they not happy about your changing!
People are like crabs sometimes....grabbing trying to pull you down as you trying to get out the barrel!

Sometimes family aren't happy about what you do in life, who you date, what you drive, where you live...bah, bah, bah! So you have to put your foot down and let it be known (somethings you do have to cuss them out, lol) or they will go on and on making you feel bad!

Bottom line throw the deuce sign in the air followed by the middle finger and be out!

-Martin-

Answer 8

If you are happy, then you're in the right track. some members of the family can be the worst critique sometimes but you have handled them quite well. focus on our goals and work on it. in due time they will understand your point of view.

Answer 9

Ask them..."Do you want me to be happy?" they will most likely say yes, so then you can say.."well I am, and if I keep listening to your negatives, it will make me miserable. Do you really want me to be unhappy that badly?"

Answer 10

Move. Some people will never change & if you let them, they will drag you down.