Can you write me a 'letter' telling me I'm fired, but being extremely cordial about it?

Answer 1

Dear Silva,
We in management here at Acme Products have long believed that the talents you bring to your position are too unique for our modest company to be able to provide you with the sort of employment experience of which you are most deserving. Consequently we have decided to maximize your ability to seek fulfillment in a position more suited to your special skills by releasing you of your obligation to continue to report for work at Acme Products.
In order not to further delay the exciting journey that lies ahead for you, we have taken the liberty of removing all your personal effects from your office and have left them boxed by the dumpster in the parking garage for your convenience.
Best of luck and warmest regards always,
Richard

Answer 2

Dear___________,
We, the management at Already Been Done Industries regret to inform you that your position has been excised from the company. We will no longer be needing your services.
We will of course be happy to recommend you and your skills to another employer and we will be fully cooperating with the Unemployment office to make your transition from employed to job seeker status as smooth as possible.
In the meantime, we wish you the best of everything.

Miriam Twitchbottom,
director of Human Resources.

Answer 3

Dear Silva,

Due to conditions beyond our control, VISCAR USA has been forced to scale back it's work force. Effective immediately (04/24/2007), your position has been absorbed by someone else, and we are therefore notifying you that your employment at VISCAR USA has been terminated.

VISCAR USA appreciated the dedication and diligence that you displayed during your employment. Your knowledge and talents were praised by many and we know that your future will shine brightly wherever you happen to go.

We have cleaned out your desk and your belongings will be shipped back to you later this week. If you have any questions please feel free to call.



Sincerely,

Lucy Pfaff
Human Resource Manager
VISCAR USA

Answer 4

Dear Silva,

I am sorry to inform you that the company no longer desires your services. We apologize for any inconvenience this has left you. We wish you the best of luck in finding a replacement job and hope that this hasn't changed your opinion about the company.

Once again, we apologize for any inconvenience.

Sincerely Sorry,

Aerojo05

Answer 5

My Dear Miss Silva,

This letter was very difficult for me to write. Aside from the fact that three of my fingers are broken, I hated putting pen to paper. It has reached my attention that you have been absent quite often from your desk. I have also been informed that your fellow co-worker, "Larry The Town Stud" has also been difficult to locate. It has been noted that the broom closet located on your floor is in total disarray.......PLEASE tell me my suspicions are unfounded!!! I have always considered you one of the family. Granted, one of the family loonies, but still.....kinfolk. I regret to have to tell you this.....but........I have to let you go. PLEEEEEEASE believe me when I tell you how sad this makes me.
I wish you only the best.
Sincerely, Maxwell J. Crowley

P.S. On your way out, please return the brooms to their proper spots. Thank you....uhhhhh....thank you very much.

Answer 6

Dear Silva,
Please refer to the emails sent to the radio shack employees,
we at NOTA...have used their same format.
Please go to www.yourfiredradioshackcares.com

This is a auto response dismissal..please do not try to reply.

Answer 7

dear silva,

your fired! get out of my freakin building or ill have you arrested..