going through a custody battle.?

Question

I am dealing with an awful ex-wife, who smokes around my 7 year old son. We have 50/50 custody, she says it is not healthy for him, but I don't drink smoke or use drugs. I caught her loaded on meth 2 years ago, and she didn't see him for about 7 months. He one day my son asked "why don't my mommy want me". I answered she does just she is having trouble, I didn't want to hurt him. I should have taken her away, but I care about him. Now 2 years later, she is clean, and hollier than thow. My lawyer told me that if she has no grounds to take him away, that she will have to pay for my lawyer. I am wondering if anybody has dealt with this and had to pay for someones lawyer, or the other parent had to pay for the lawyer, because they had no grounds. I am just very stressed, and not sure what to do. My son is my life. I just need some advise. Thanks allot.

I know she is clean because she has put on allot of weight. She met her new boyfriend at N.A., and he was her sponsor. He is on parol for felony drug charges. And must stay clean to stay out of prison. Thanks.

Answer 1

I am going through somthin like that...my hubby is adopting my oldest...and no he does not pay for our lawyer...but since we are fighting for this...if he cannot afford a lawyer...one will be appointed to him...it is also very hard to take children away from there mother..if she is smoking ciggaretts around the child...they wont give u coustody for that...if she is still doing drugs...may be hard to prove...but i still dought you will get full coustody

Answer 2

Wow, that is really harsh. Normally it is the judges decision whether to make a party pay for the others legal fees. Just keep a calendar and write down everything that happens. I went through a custody battle a few years ago, he ended up with supervised visits for a year. Judges do not want to take fathers or mothers away from their kids, so if she has no grounds I don't see why you would lose your son and since you are agreeing to share 50/50 custody, I don't see where there is a problem. Good Luck to you and your son.

Answer 3

When she was doing meth was it ever reported or was she caught? If there is a police report you lawyer should be able to get a copy of it. As for paying for the lawyer if she loses from what I understand you can try and get her to pay for the lawyer fees. My hubby went through this with his ex. Sounds like your trying to do a great job, esp. by not bad mouthing her to your child. Also do you think her staying clean is going to last? These precedings take awhile and she could slip back. That isn't that long to stay clean. Considering you have had custody for this long and her track record isn't great, she should not be able to get full custody, you would most likely revert back to 50/50.

Answer 4

So is she trying to get full custody? If that's the case, then it won't happen. If you were primary caregiver when she was going through her crisis, they are not going to just take your child away from you to give him to her. Plus, it at this point is not about whether 50/50 custody is healthy for him. (it's probably healthier for him to be with you full time)That is how is has been for 7 years, i'm assumming. She didn't object to it before now. She would have to prove you are unfit to have him half the time. She needs grounds to bring it before a court. Hang in there!

Answer 5

Wait, what? You need to ask what you should do in this situation? Obviously supporting him would be an option. If you're not ready to be a stepmom then move on, his kids are his first priority as they should be. That whole, how will this affect our relationship, question causes red flags for me. This is about him doing what he thinks is best for his children. I don't think the concern should be about you and him, step back and either support him or move on.

Answer 6

I know someone who's done drugs and exposed her kids to all kinds of bad such one of them had knowledge at an early age, neglect, shuffling the kids around from place to place, mental illness, and more. Different fathers of different babies. The first one tried to fight it in court by telling them what all she did with drugs. She still gets to keep her children with her. And the daddies still pay meager child support according to her and her brother.
I knew another man who had his daughter with him. Wifey ran off many times, he didn't leave her. She tried to off herself. Annullment. She wanted her older kid back, was spreading lies. He told her he'd take it to civil instead of juvenile and domestic. He kept got to keep his kid or ex-wifey was too scared to try him.
I have never heard of someone paying for someone else's lawyer. There are some law and divorce sites online you can research for this.
Sorry you are going through this. I am glad you are doing the best for your child and setting good example for him.