My boyfriend of 4 years asked me to marry him. But he is 20 in the military and i am 16. what should i do?

Question

we live 8-10 hours apart. and he says he is willing to wait until i turn 18. But i don't know what to say.

Answer 1

Too young kid....way too young. Don't do it. You can't imagine how screwed up your life will be or may become. You haven't even matured yet. Neither has he.
He's lonely because he's away. You haven't a clue as to what a military wife has to put up with. especially at your age. can you imagine having a kid, being away from home and mom isn't around to even lend a hand or offer advice? Hold back kid....tell him no. If he gets pissy and says he'll break it off, let him go...seriously. I'm throwing you a life preserver here because once you commit, have kids, etc....just saying "I quit" doesn't work.
In another 6 years or so you'll wish you saved this and thanked me for it.

Answer 2

Dear CB,

The law in England and Wales is as follows:

"The minimum legal age for getting married is 16 years old. In England and Wales the written consent of the parents or Guardians is required for persons who have not reached 18 years old and have not been previously married. If either of the persons is below 18 a birth certificate must be produced. It is preferred that all persons produce such evidence. "

So with parental consent you could get married but I would strongly advise against this.

1. You should really try and finish school, college University etc presume you are at school?

2. 16 is very young to get married, and it seems your bloke is happy to wait a bit- don't rush into it if your getting married for sex this can be had (quite safely) without the complications of marriage.

3. If a guy truly loves you he'll want the best for you, which should include a decent eduction so that you can get a reasonable job and afford to live in our expensive country of ours.

Let me know what you decide

regards
Dave

Answer 3

WOW! I fell into the same situation as you did, I met my soon-to-be ex husband when i was 17 still in high school and married him when i turned 18. He too, was in the navy. He told me everything I wanted to hear and I truly believed he loved me. A year into the marriage, I became pregnant, and we ran into problems, I found him online trying to find sex partners when I was 7 months pregnant. He claimed he would stop and never did. I now have custody of our almost 2 year old. He does nothing for him! has only seen him 2x since he was 3 months old. Just in case you don't know, when you marry into the military, the military member gets money, in some states, almost as much as their base pay. This has caused an incintive for some military members to marry. My advice, finish high school, go to college and make something of yourself before marriage. If only I could go back in time! I'm 21, soon to be divorced with a baby. I was just starting college when we married. I have picked up where I left off, but even at 21, it is frustrating to think I would have graduated this May, but instead, I will have to wait until October '08. I struggle everyday. You will change so much after high school. Give yourself a chance. True love waits, if he can't respect that, he isn't meant for you. Good luck!

Answer 4

whippee- he's 'willing to wait'--what is he a bus ?-your life doesn't depend on what he wants-- it only depends on what YOU WANT, never forget that. You are a mere 16, you know nothing of the world -- go to school, get an education, mabey travel later-- meet different people, we were in the military--I'd say 99% of young soldiers cheat, and the girls get so bitter & miserable they cheat too- it is awful. I can almost guarantee he will cheat on you in the army and break your heart. Where ever there are are army post [not called bases] there are whores--even many of the women in the army are whores. If he goes over-seas, there are foreign whores--you don't stand a chance-- keep away from it.

Answer 5

The mere fact that you don't know what to say to your boyfriend just proves that you're not old enough, or emotionally mature, to be so deeply involved in a committed relationship, let alone be thinking about marriage!

You're way too young; it's as simple as that.

Wait a few years and see how you feel about your boyfriend & marriage then.





P.S. What were you doing having a boyfriend at the tender age of 12 anyways?!? Your parents allowed you to date a 16 year-old back then??? Charming & free upbringing, evidently...

Answer 6

Tell him to wait till you are 25 girl! Don't do it! I was in love from the age of 14 to 20 with a boyfriend I went to school with. When we were 16 he joined the army and we got engaged. Long distance relationships are seriously hard work and not a great idea.

You have so much still to see, do, learn and live. PLEASE don't get tied down yet! I'm so glad that I didn't.

IF he loves you he WILL wait as long as it takes. Dont be a fool.

Answer 7

You are way too you to be thinking of marriage.
Give it a few years & see how you feel then.
You started seeing this guy when you were a young child & I think you need to wait until you have totally grown up & are an adult before making a huge decision like this.
The things & people I liked at your age were absolutely not what I liked at 20. People mature & change between the age you are now & their early 20s. I think you owe it to yourselves to put the decision off for a few years.

Answer 8

You're too young to get married, at either 16 or 18. Tell him you're flattered that he wants to marry you, but you prefer to wait. Perhaps after you finish college and get established, you'll be in a better position to know for sure if you want to marry him. So much can happen between now and then.

Answer 9

Tell him 2 ask u again when u r 18yrs
16 is too young to even think about marriage live ur life sweetheart u only get one
I married at 18yrs it didn't work, as I got older, grow up i realised we had nothing in common.
Been divorced for 4 yrs now & I'm only 37yrs now
Marriage looks exciting at ur age but reality is marriage can be hard work, it can also be fantastic please don't get me wrong I'm not against marriage I would love to re-marry but thats cos I feel I'm ready for it now.
Don't rush in2 anything give urself time

Answer 10

You are still a child. He is in the military. That's a tough life without having to worry about dragging an under age girl around...He said he would wait till you are "legal" than wait! Neither of you really have a choice in the matter, you are underage!