It recently came to my attention that they may be moving out of State. I have two kids and a husband here, but the truth is if they move I would want to move to be closer to them.. I moved here with them prior to starting my family and my husband moved here voluntarily. Is it unfair to want to move. My children have yet to start school and I feel that my husband can get a job anywhere. thanks for any feedback.
2007-04-24 10:15:59 · 32 answers · asked by up2late 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends on how your husband feels about it. If he hasn't any objections then go for it. My parents both passed away when I was in my very early 20s and I wish all the time that I had had the chance to get to know them as an adult and built up a bigger bank of memories. Parents are special and if you have that relationship with them hang on to it.
Having said that if your hubby has a problem with the move it might need some deeper thought. good luck.
2007-04-24 10:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by zbak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm probably not the best judge of this as I am super close to my mom (we live 5 minutes from each other and talk everyday). Some people think that's weird, but I think that people who rarely see their parents are weird.
If your husband can get a job where your parents are moving and your kids aren't even in school yet, then I say make the move. Nothing beats being close to family. Your kids will have an awesome relationship with their grandparents and you will still be close to your folks. Don't let people make you feel weird about this, I think it's great.
Oh and we also live 5 minutes from my in-laws. We are one big happy family!
2007-04-24 10:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by Momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband already moved for you once, so he may not want to again, especially if he has a good job that he likes. Some people don't like to move around a lot, he may like where he's at. You can talk to him about it & see what he has to say, but if he's not willing, don't be mad at him. It's great you're close to your parents, but you have your own family now, your grown up, maybe it's time to cut the cord.
2007-04-24 10:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, way past time to sever those apron strings hon. I know it will be hard, and you'll miss them, but you'll still manage. You have your own family now, they need to be your top priority and focus. If you don't let your parents go at least a little bit, you will destroy your marriage.
Your spouse needs to come first in my life, and any relationship that interferes with that, whether another sexual partner, a friend, or a FAMILY MEMBER constitutes a form of adultry.
It might be different if your parents had health problems or something and you suddenly felt the urge to be closer to them to help care for them. And your husband supported you in that desire. But since they are the ones choosing to make this move, I'll assume that that's not the case.
I'm not saying you need to completely sever those relationships and never talk to them at all, but I've seen people in their 50's even who are so tied to their parents that they can't seem to get close to their spouse or children. It really effects those relationships. You've had that time, growing up, to get close to your parents, and its wonderful that you are. But now you need to switch to a different type of relationship with them. And work on developing that kind of relationship with their kids, knowing that one day they too will have to cut those strings with you.
Have you ever thought that they know that too, and maybe that's one reason they did decide to move out of state?
2007-04-24 10:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ally J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you got married to your husband there was something said that the two of you have become one and you did that and started a new life with him and now you have 2 children. You have your life and your parents have their life, you can't keep following them. Have you ever thought they are trying to get away from everyone to be by themselves. You have to let go and focus on your marriage and your children, he did it for your once but you shouldn't ask him to do this again. You will have to uproot your family and start all over again its not fair to your husband. Did your run the possibility by him to see what he would say. I wouldn't push it if I were you, just let them have their life and you live yours. You can always visit, and one more thing, what are you afraid of, why are you afraid to live your life without your parents. You are a big girl now you can make it, let them go.
2007-04-24 10:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by Pegi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's something you should discuss with your husband. Just because your children aren't in school yet doesn't mean it won't impact their lives, behavior, etc. Maybe your husband can get a job anywhere, but are your parents going to rescue you financially if moving means taking a huge cut in your household income? I love my parents too. I am very close to them, but there comes a time when you have to cut the chord.
2007-04-24 10:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by spicy_salsa69 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your place is with your husband and children, NOT your parents. Actually, one of the best things for my marriage was when my parents moved away, and I had to learn to stand on my own 2 feet, and become more independent. I honestly don't think it would be fair to your husband or children to have to pack up, move and start a new life somewhere just because you're afraid to be far away from your parents. You need to grow up, and be an adult. Sorry if that's harsh, but it's the truth.
2007-04-24 10:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's really between you and your husband. I think it's great that you are so close to your folks but they are the ones who are moving away from you.
It may be time to turn your focus to your family and find out what they want.
I do think if you are going to move, then now, before the kids are in school, would be better than later.
2007-04-24 10:22:24 · answer #8 · answered by nailgal2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's unfair to move again, if your husband is OK with it. It's really between the two of you.
I know that if I didn't have family here & the kids weren't in school yet, and my husband wanted to move for any reason at all, I would support him in that. I can't see why not.
2007-04-24 10:20:02 · answer #9 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd move. Seriously, I will not live in a state where I have no family (immediate blood relatives). I moved to Michigan when I was young with my family and if I were in your situation, I'd be like, start looking for a job here because that's where we're going to live from now on.
2007-04-24 10:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by 81 Honda 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋