2007-04-24 09:56:13 · 15 answers · asked by BlackBeauty_4_U 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
go to the first councelling session by yourself , they are usually free
explain your goals and the councellor can recommend the best way to get him to go
2007-04-24 10:00:46 · answer #1 · answered by ann s 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, the way I would tell my wife I wanted counseling or I'm gone is to explain my feelings to her. I would say that our relationship lately has made me feel [insert feelings here - angry, lost, alone, lonely, unsatisfied, hurt... whatever the truth is]. Then I would say that it would really make me feel much better if the two of us could go, together, to couples counseling. I would then say that I know she might not agree, and that it might be a waste of time, but that because of the way I feel I am asking her to do this thing for me.
I would not make it an ultimatum. I would make it a choice between letting me stay with these bad feelings I have, or doing something that is not particularly terrible because I said it might make me feel better.
If she was not willing to do something for me like that, then I would be very hurt that she does not love or respect me enough to do such a simple thing. I would then tell her that I respect her decision, that I love her, that I will always think fondly of the good times we had, and that I'm leaving.
2007-04-24 17:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband was smart he would tell you in return: "don't let the door hit you on the way out".
No man should put up with an ultimatum, instead he should call your bluff. Even so, counseling is a crock. It doesn't work for couples, it might be good on a personal level but not for couples. He knows this, it's you are are in the dark. Why waste the time and effort on something that isn't going to make a bit of difference? Better to kick you to the curb himself and find a good woman.
2007-04-24 17:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's so hard about this? No wonder why you're having problems. Just come straight out & tell him - we're not getting along very well, & I feel that we need to go to counseling or it's not going to work. Tell you him you feel it's either counseling or divorce.
2007-04-24 17:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and calmly tell him that you feel there are issues within the marriage that are sabotaging the relationship and your sense of happiness and security within it. Tell him that maybe he feels some of the same feelings. Explain that you are interested in doing your part to help make the marriage better for the both of you and would like him to do the same as you can see no other way of addressing matters. A threat is not necessary. If he refuses, just follow through with your decision.
2007-04-24 17:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
TELL HIM THAT YOU TWO HAVE SOME ISSUES THAT ARE NOT GETTING RESOLVED BY THE TWO OF YOU ALONE AND YOU MAY NEED SOME HELP IN TRYING TO COMMUNICATE BETTER. COUNSELING WILL HELP FOR YOU TWO TO TALK AND REALLY LISTEN.
IF THAT DOESN'T WORK MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO ALONE AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO ON YOUR PART. AND THEN GET HIM INVOLVED.
BE HONEST AND TRUTHFUL, TELL HIM YOU ARE HAVING A HARD TIME AND THAT LEAVING ISN'T SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BUT WILL IF THINGS DON'T CHANGE OR SOME PROGRESS ISN'T MADE.
2007-04-24 17:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by 3whiskerbiscuits 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sit him down and tell him you need to talk with him about how you feel. Let him know that there are some things that need to be worked out and that you two are not able to do it on your own and need counseling. That if he is not willing to go to a counselor you don't forsee your marriage lasting much longer.
2007-04-24 17:05:50 · answer #7 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just like that!! Tell him why you feel like your both needing to go... make an appointment if possible on his day off, or just let him know that you have made an appointment for the both of you and this is the day and time and that it really means alot to you for him to be there. That way your clear, this day at this time I need you to be there for this amount of time for this reason.
I know that this is a hard thing to ask for ( I just did ) but if you really want your relationship to work you have to work at it, you BOTH do.
Best of luck to you and your family.
2007-04-24 17:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by ohdarnitsmeagain 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I assume that you want to go to counseling as a couple? If that is the case try just going yourself for awhile maybe its actually you who needs it and not him, if in YOUR sessions it comes out both of ya need it and he still does not go, well then just say it as you said it in your question.
2007-04-24 17:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by bdntitest 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The same way the counselor is going to tell you: The two of you need to sit down and open up to each other with tempers flying.
2007-04-24 17:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by Ga's Peach 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Exactly as you just did on here. "Either we are going to counseling or I'm gone." Their isn't a nice way to sugar coat it.
2007-04-24 17:02:01 · answer #11 · answered by Steph 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋