For mature people only !!!!!! 30 or older please...........?

Question

Does it seem that the young newlyweds or those that have been married only a couple of years seem to know all the answers to relationship problems on Yahoo answers?They have not even gone through any of the really rough times yet.It seems that they think if you make it to the 5 yr. mark you have it made.I can't wait to read some of their answers after they have been married for 20 or more years.Does anyone else agree?

Answer 1

I complety agree with you.

Specially those 19 year olds that have been married for 5 minutes and think that they know the secret for a happy marriage or never-wed youngsters that feel the urge to tell mature adults to "just divorce him" or "dishwahing is not foreplay". Please.

Damn, I just let everyone know how old I am.

Answer 2

You do sound a little bitter. Do I count as one of those "young newlyweds" that you speak of? I have been married to my soldier for 2 and a half years. I am 29 + a few (stopped counting at 29 because I refuse to turn 30) and this is my second marriage. Now while many might consider me a newlywed, I have been married before, I have a few years of experience, plus countless hours of observation of some REALLY messed up marriages. I have a few things to say about ALOT of things.

I now know what true love is. I know what a soul mate is. I can offer advice on so many things, as experience has taught me well.

I would say that if someone is going to ask a question, they should be open to anyone giving an answer. I like to think that everyone (almost) has something to offer. And even though some of the "young" ones may not have much experience in marriage, they just might have some good advice!

Answer 3

It might be interesting to see how people's answers change over time.
I don't know all the answers. That's why I ask questions. And it will be a miracle if I do make it to the 5 year mark because of how tough and rough it has gotten. But then I've been with him over 10 years.
Some of the younger ones may have learned hard lessons from watching their parents or parent and growing up in a one parent household, by themselves, or in various foster homes and going hungry and without decent clothing in the cold season and being abused and neglected and seeing abuse. Other people learn lessons from people's mistakes and try not to make those same mistakes, but they don't know what it's like until they are the ones experiencing it for themselves, and they don't know how hard it is to get out of the truly rough times until they are trying to get out of that situation or remedy it.

Answer 4

I think you have some good points.......but I also think you are in error in thinking mature people are 30 and over. It's not just being older that makes you mature, a lot of it has to do with discipline. There are a lot of under 30's people who have good careers and got an education, and may be more mature than someone who is 40 and never went to school and goes to the bar every weekend. I also think that there are some couples in their 20's who have been married much longer than someone who just got married in their late 30's and could offer some great advice to their older newlywed friends.
I think everyone can offer something great to the table, and it would be immature to think that just because someone is younger, that they may not have as much to offer. Perhaps not immature, but rather ignorant.

Answer 5

Couldnt agree with you more, but even those that have lengthy marriages dont have the expertise or knowledge to answer some of the more complicated questions on here. But everyone is entitled to their opinion on here and just hope the asker knows the difference. knowledge is both a very dangerous think and a strong powerful ally in which most people have no idea the difference and what a wrong answer can do to these people. You do have a very good insight and much wisdom. Keep it up

Answer 6

Yes, I agree with you 100%.

I have been married going on 12 years and it definitely is more work and a struggle after the 5 year mark. I never have claimed to know the opinions/answers to everything, when it comes to marriage and relationships but I like to think that maybe some of my answers might bring a new light/perspective to those in search of enlightenment or help.

Answer 7

Absolutely! My husband & I've been married for 19 years now - together 20, and have known each other since we were kids. And I did not know SQUAT the first 5 of those years compared to what I know now. And the root of most problems is still the same old one - MONEY. Aside from being Friends before you become lovers, the next most important thing in a relationship is learning to BUDGET, and then stick to that budget!!

Answer 8

I'm 29, I have been married 7 years. I don't know everything, but I know some stuff. The stuff I do know, I'm willing to share. But to exclude someones knowledge based solely on their age or marital status is wrong. To take someones advice strictly because they are over 30 or have been married for 20 years is also wrong. It depends what the problems are, and what background your from. What works in a well established marriage may not work in a starting out marriage. Marriages change, people change, and society changes.

Answer 9

Well...I find it rather interesting that when someone mentions they're in either a bad relationship, its experiencing problems or there is either infidelity or the suspicion thereof the quck answer is "Leave him/her" or "Get out and divorce him/her". As if it were that easy. I guess it would be if after 20+ years of marriage you don't have the concerns of a house, vehicles, bills, kids, property taxes and countless other factors that these folks never place into the equation.
I also find that communication seems to be the biggest factor. The next in mistrust. One woman here says she plays a "game' with her spouse. She'll go online, pose as someone else and seek out her husband in an attempt to coerce him to enter into an affair by claiming she's local.
What is amazing is she went through the roof when he agreed to hook up. Now really....what did you expect? A test of loyalty? Frankly...you play with fire expect to get burned.

Answer 10

Well, I'm not over 30, but I have been with my husband for 11 yrs. You could try and do the math, but the point is I may be young but that does not make me inexperienced. I am married, I have kids, I have a mortgage, I have car payments. I also have important things to say and good advise to give.
And I'm only 25! :)

Answer 11

I don't think it's as much a matter of surviving "rough times" as it is creating a nurturing a relationship that has:

- emotional maturity.
- the ability to negotiate and compromise.
- a sense of sympathy and forgiveness.
- mutual respect.

Couples don't know how to separate the small $hit from the big $hit, they can't deal with a problem without spinning out/crashing and burning, they cannot forgive one another for simple human errors, etc.

Marriage really isn't rocket science, but a lot of people just aren't ready to live with another human being in peace. They just lack the social and emotional skills to do that.