my stepson is getting married in july-his real mother is going to be there how do i avoid any arguments ?

Question

to avoid arguments for his special day? the last time we crossed is wasnt very pretty.

Answer 1

Be seen, not heard. Sometimes you just have to "take one for the team" even when you really don't want to. Just remember the day is about your stepson and his fiance not about you and his mother. You will be blessed by doing the right thing.

Answer 2

I think the only thing you can do to keep down the confusion is to not attend the wedding. She is his mother and has to be there and it seems that she likes to show her a$$ when you come around. Don't give her the satisfaction. I would just meet with your stepson and his soon to be wife and have dinner with them and give them a gift at that time, you don't have to go to prove to him your care, he knows his mother is a screw up so let her have the day since she really is entitled to it and let go, I say this because all of her family members will be there and thee will be drinking and they may even egg her on to do something silly. Although your husband may want you there and he feels its okay for you to go, I wouldn't subject myself to that behavior and people will tell you not to let her keep you from going, I thinkyou should be the bigger person and not allow his stupid mom to ruin his day so let it go. I know its hard but I am just telling you what I would do and hopefully you will act accordingly. Good luck, its the damn ex-wives they can be major bitche$ all the time and for no reason.

Answer 3

If your paths cross, just say hello. Other than that, don't initiate any conversations, or feed into any conversations with her that will cause arguments that day. Be the better person. You don't want to ruin your stepson's big day. Just smile, and act happy, it's only for a few hours.

Answer 4

Offer an olive branch of peace for that day.... Write her a letter or give her a call now... Ask her if she will agree to a truce for the wedding day and any days leading uo to it that will incompass wedding functions...

She may well wish to avoid arguements just as much as you do... One of you needs to broach the subject now instead of going into the wedding functions with the worry... Why can't that someone be you..

It's entirely possible that the truce of a few days could lead to a much longer truce...

If she doesn't agree, remember it takes two to make an arguement... Only one is "That's insane woman raving like a lunatic.."

Answer 5

Im sorry for your stepson that he will have to be stressed over this on his special day....The only tips I can give is for you to stay out of any planning for the wedding, she probably wont be receptive to any suggestions you have. Fortunately my wife and I dont have these kind of issues with our ex's. When we married I made sure she knew that if my attending her childrens events (graduation, marriages, etc) was in any way going to make her kids uncomfortable with the situation I would graciously bow out and let them have their day.

Answer 6

I am the best man to my brother's wedding in July. My mother refused to host the bridal shower because my father's wife was invited (whom she hates). We too are nervous about what things will be like with our mother AND our father at the same event. My only advice is stay away from her! Be polite if she says hello, but don't let her lure you into a lengthy conversation. Ignore her unless forced to acknowledge her, and only then be quick and polite before excusing yourself to go pull teeth or slit your wrists! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Obviously someone is already talking to her. Have a go between tell her that for the purpose of this event, no one wants to raise any issues, and it's about the kid. Have someone who likes her, be her go-between. and squire her around at the event. Ask your stepson to ask for a day of peace as a present for his wedding.

Answer 8

Bite your tongue. Be polite. Avoid her as much as possible. Avoid alcohol. Don't bait her, and just walk away should she start to do the same. Remember that the last thing your son would want would be a brawl between his parents/stepparents on his wedding day. Remember its only ONE day.

Answer 9

if thing are bound to be volitile, I wouldn't just keep my mouth shut and hope she does too ... you might want to be proactive and at least let her know that you don't want any problems at your step-sons wedding, and tell her you would like it if the both of you could put aside your differences for that day

or if that is out of the question, maybe ask your step-son talk to her and say he has also had a talk with you

hard to say when we dont know what the argument is about

Answer 10

I guess don't sit by each other.
Avoid contact. and if you must cross each others paths then put that polite fake smile on for the sake of the bride and groom. :) If it appears to not be so calm in your surroundings after that then you made you appearance, finish your business and leave.