Married for a year & a half and having trouble...?

Question

My husband & I have been together for 5 years, but married for about a year & a half. We have a 2 year old son & 1 on the way. We are both 23, but there is no "spark" there anymore. We don't get alone time very often, but when our son is in bed, my husband goes downstairs & I go to bed. We have sex maybe once every couple weeks...I love him to death, but there isn't that "newlywed" thing that we should have, and no romance. How do I get that spark back?

Answer 1

if you and your husband don't talk about these things, no wonder there isn't a spark, hon.

take the time to let him know you want to talk. tell him how you feel and what you'd like to see happen in your marriage.

he won't know, unless you tell him... hugz!

Answer 2

Well for starters, you guys didn't give yourself enough time to actually honeymoon. How can you when you say you've only been married for a year and a half but have a 2 year old son? I guess you deserve a pat on the back for getting married and doing the right thing, but unfortunately this is what happens when people do things too fast or out of order. My advice is to tell your husband that for at LEAST one weekend out of the month you want to get a sitter, dress up nice, go out to a nice dinner, and have some fun. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. That goes double for Jill.

Answer 3

Your situation is a little tricky and I really feel for you. I do think that you can get that spark going again. But you aren't gonna get that "newlywed" thing that most newlyweds get because you brought one child into the marriage and now you are having another one. Just give it some time, band together and just love your children together. Love each other and cherish the time you do get together!!!

Answer 4

You need some alone time. You're both too young to feel that way. Having kids so young could be a part of it. Your husband may feel like his life is 'over' at 23. Not that he doesn't love his kids but it's a lot of responsibility for a couple so young. I would recommend counseling; it sounds like you both have feelings that need to be aired and you might need an impartial party to hear your grievances and help you find that spark. Good luck and don't give up!

Answer 5

First of all,you 2 need to talk.Why is it when you have time do you go to separate rooms? Sorry to tell you this,but marriage and sex will require work and commitment.The reason divorce is so common is that when the going gets tough people like to bail.If you have a small child,you both will be tired and when the baby is asleep the easiest thing to do is take a break.Try going downstairs naked when he is down there.Marriage is very rewarding if you put forth the effort and your child and new baby deserve the best of homes.You and your husband need to figure out what you need to do to rekindle the fire.

Answer 6

I wanna start off by saying to "john timothy" : where the heck does it say that the kid is in their bed??? read a little better next time!


Okay. Yes, i know how you feel. My husband and i got married when i was a few months pregnant. we try to go out as much as we can, his mom loves to watch her... so we try to go see a movie or something. for my birthday he's taking me on a cruise to the bahamas, just the 2 of us... and im bring suprise nighties and toys... so maybe you could suprise your hubby with a weekend just for the 2 of you.. im sure one of the grandmas would happily take your son for the weekend. good luck getting the spark back... just dont give up b/c its NOT impossible!

Answer 7

If there is love between you both, then do not give up. It can and will come back and probably stronger than before. You both need to plan a romantic get away. Do something you haven't done before, just be wild, and don't complain about anything, just enjoy each others company. the spark will come back, but not if you give up. Marriage is up and down, but if you hang in there the up's just get better, and the down's few and far between. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

You both have stopped working at your marriage, keep it up and you won't have a marriage. Plan a romantic evening for after your sons bed time. Do something nearly every day to show your husband you love him. Love notes in his wallet is easy enough, or a mint on his pillow. They all say I love you and do wonders for a marriage.

Answer 9

i do no longer think of you will get married. you have opposing viewpoints on marriage and in all probability young toddlers too because of the fact it would not look you have suggested that in the process complete. in case you do no longer understand if this is incorrect to have young toddlers on an identical time as no longer married, do no longer understand a thank you to hold those issues up, and don't understand what to do, you're in all probability no longer waiting for the staggering dedication it particularly is a relatives. i think of you do love him and you're coronary heart is in the extraordinary place yet you do no longer seem to be mature sufficient for those issues and could be stepping into over your head. to boot, in case you're only graduating you're approximately 22 years previous... what's the frenzy? you could continually have young toddlers at 25 yet you could on no account un-have young toddlers.

Answer 10

that's going to be hard with a 2 year old and another baby on the way. espically if you both work. you need to get some alone time with your husband. try to get a baby sitter for a night or a weekend if possible. it's very imprtant that you try this you want to be on the same terms with each other when your baby arrives.

Answer 11

All you need to do is get some personal time with your husband. Have the grandparents take the kid(s) for a weekend and surprise him with a hotel room or something like that.

He may feel jealous and competitive with your son as he seems to be controlling your personal time (sleep).