Leave home or stay?

Question

My parents want me to have an arranged marriage with a girl i dont know but i want to marry my girlfreind and my mum n dad say if i do that they will basically dis own me. i really want to marry my girlfriend but not sure what affect it will have on my family and myselfs relationship what do i do please help

Answer 1

I would hope that your parents would want to have a relationship with you, even if you do not do every last thing that they want. It will take some time, though, for them to get over it - so if you really mean it when you say you want to marry your girlfriend, just be patient with the time it takes for your parents to recover.

If you're an adult (and to get married you should be an adult), then this is your decision. You can take counsel, and you can listen to what they have to say, but who you want to commit your life to affects you the most... So why shouldn't you have the final say?

Answer 2

Marriage is about companionship. To have companionship that will last it needs to have love. Do you love, truly 100% love your girlfriend? Does she love you without a doubt or question? Is she willing to take the chance of your family hating her and blaming her? I do need to tell you from experience that when you marry someone you do "marry" their family. It can be hurtful. If you guys have sat down and talked about it 'till you both are exhausted.... Then you will know the right answer for you. I bet that after a few years.... especially after grandkids come, your parents will get over it and start excepting it. By the way, Have you asked your parents in an adult calm way WHY they want you to marry a woman you have never met? They may have a desent reason. And maybe they will give you the chance to explain your side of the story.

Answer 3

Please don't listen to your parents. Marry your girlfriend, if your parents love you like they should, then they'll accept the marriage soon enough. Don't think about how it'll affect your relationship with your family. Think about your happiness. It may sound selfish at first, but down the road, how you and your girlfriend(future wife) feel, will matter the most.

They'll learn to live with it, and hopefully realize that your happiness is what matters the most. We only life once, go with your heart.

Best of luck, and I hope you choose your girlfriend, imagine how she would feel if you chose someone you didn't even care about over someone you love.

Answer 4

wow that's crazy! well it depends how old you are. i wouldn't want to marry someone i didn't know. marriage is something you decide. you will live a very unhappy life. your parents don't have the right to make that decision for you. i am not telling you to leave because you only can make that choice but its your life! no one can tell you how to live it not even your parents... they can only guide you and hope you take the right paths.... if you don't want to live unhappy for the rest of your life well i suggest you leave. if you don't mind losing your gf and your rights then stay... its pretty much there! i know it must be hard making these type of choices, especially if your parents will never speak to you if you don't do what they say.. i don't think they will change their mind.. but honestly you only live once you can't spend it married to someone who you don't even know thats not right! i hope it works out for you !! good luck

Answer 5

Your choice if you want your family controlling your personal life not only that they are trying to make you marry a girl you don't know and also she would be who you'll feel obligated to have sex with. Don't get married to any woman if you don't love them that will only turn into divorce later on. Think about that and think about your gfs feelings too. If your family is threatening to disown then let them then you don't need parents like that. You should have the right to choose who you want to be with AND have sex with and be with someone that you love not a woman you'll feel obligated to love.

Answer 6

i am reading a book in school that shakespeare wrote, and it is exactly like this situation. Demetrius and Lysander both are in love with Hermia, but Hermia loves Lysander. So, Hermia and Lysander run away to Lysander's aunt's house to get married. Why should you marry someone you don't even know and surrender your virginity to someone you've never seen before? Your parents shouldn't choose who YOU want to marry. I say, your girlfriend is the best choice.

Answer 7

Leave home. Marry the girl friend. Life your own life and be responsible for your decisions. The self respect you enjoy if you do this will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

Marry who you want to marry....who you love. If your parents really love you they will only want you to be happy, and will not disown you. Are your parents gaining something out of this arranged marriage? If so, it is too selfish to put themselves before your happiness!!!

Answer 9

your family is your life! You have to make them understand who you are and How much you love your girlfriend have them get to know her. I can't say it won't put a strain on you relationship with you family if they won't change there mind lol

Answer 10

You cann't go thru life allowing others to control you, either you are mature & old enough to make your own choices or you are not