Im good natured, so why is nature not good to me?

Question

I feel, since being born, bad things have always happend, Im a first year uni student and my long term friend is never in contact, or never invites me to places, people at times judge me and misundertand me like other friends and lecturers, girls dont like me not even as a friend, they assume, that because of my face, build and voice that im a jerk or a perv, and im not my mate who doesnt keep in touch is the jerk and girls love him, I admit im introverted and timid and shy at times, but when i make a effort it doesnt help, I have never done anything to hurt anybody and Im just tired of everything and Im tierd of everyone thinking theyre better than me without knowing me first.

Im just hurting a lot inside and I feel lonely and Im just thinking what has me being a good guy got me?

Answer 1

Hey Neal G,
My friend, take a close look at yourself. Some of your problems you are already answering yourself. If I were you, I would get a book on being positive, open minded and try to be outgoing.
Check out daily www.dailystrehgth.org
If you would join it and start talking to people there, you will find a lot of people who are hurting like yourself or if nothing else, you might find yourself helping someone.
Cheer up! Think positive! Smile a lot at others. Have kind words to say! Do these things and you will notice changes right before your eyes.
Good luck!

Answer 2

There is a simple answer. Nature is not good to you, because you don't let it be.

I was the same way for the longest time. No one would ever invite me places, the people I thought were my friends truly were not.

It all has to do with self confidence. Start looking for people who are good natured as well.

Its a hard switch going from introverted to extroverted and takes time, but it is so worth it. Start by randomly starting a conversation with someone at a supermarket or library. Nothing more than just saying hello, or asking a question about what they are reading, or buying. If you don't get a response move on. All you want to do is try to get your self out of the shell.

If what you are doing is feeling a bit awkward keep doing that same thing, until it is no longer awkward. It's hard, but when you can do that, you have an easier time talking to people.

As far as your friend, he really isn't a friend. Find someone who enjoys spending time and hanging out with you as much as you do them. Someone who is not a jerk.

Answer 3

My sister is more reserved, while I am the more outgoing one. People judge my sister all the time and say how stuck up or rude she is. When the only problem is it takes her a little while to warm up to others. When people get to know her, they will always say they had thought she was a snob. People judge a lot by first impressions. That is just the way our society is. If you are on the shy side, people might interpret that as stuck up. Try and warm up to a certain group of people instead of everyone in general. Maybe this will help increase your comfort level. Your best friend is more popular because he is a 'jerk' and more outgoing. Don't worry, relationships you will have will be far more meaningful than any of your friends because you are a good hearted person.

Answer 4

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt, and call me over!

Good friends are like stars........You don't always see them, but you know they are always here. "Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another,Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"

Answer 5

Neel,
Don't give up... There are a lot of people out there who feel the same way you do but don't let that kill you see I was always like that then, I started challenging myself so do things out of character because I felt that if I can do something that I wouldn't normally do then I can do anything I wanted to do even act like an *** if I choose too, so take my advice God has given us one life to live and the ability to choose our own path, so why set around beating yourself up, go out there and do things that you have never done before you'll never know in the process you might find someone just like you ;)

Answer 6

Give college life a chance. You will come into your own. College is where I began and am still meeting the best friends I have ever had. Just be yourself and don't let the weaknesses of others change you in a negative way. I hope you continue to be the "good guy". Trust me the ladies will appreciate it more when they get older and will remember you. Best Wishes.

Answer 7

Being part of this misunderstood world is just a fact of life.....i know how you feel, i feel the same way, but now i just don't give a sh*t anymore...let people talk if they want to talk, let people hate if they want to hate, I really don't care and you shouldn't either. I used to be suicidal just because of all my problems, but then i just thought and was like "what the f*ck, I'm hurting myself and no matter what people still didn't care." That's why i don't even bother to tell people how i feel because no one cares, this world is self-fish. I don't want you to kill yourself or even try because it's not worth it, people aren't worth your time, and if people talking about you, and wasting their time talking about you then you obviously are important. Never loose faith and hope_God Bless

Answer 8

You need a life style change. The adage is act like a victim and you will become one. You seem to get the deepest reward from helping people but never get a refill from those you expect and give the most to. Get new friends. People who like you for who you are. Trust me they are out there.

Answer 9

I think your lack of confidence probably shines through and turns the girls off. Girls don't care for "doom and gloom". Before you can be with anyone else, you have to be ok with yourself. With your attitude as it is, nothing will change. Life is a series of ups and downs. It is time to thicken your skin and take the lows in stride, else you will be miserable your whole life.

Answer 10

Ive always been heavy and the opposite sex just dont like "heavy".Once i lost weight the girls started flockin' and when I told them I wanted an old fashioned christian girl they scattred.GOD finally sent me the wife I always wanted,Now if youll try church and ask the LORD for friends youll get some who really care about you for many of us have been where you are.Try the united pentecostals theyre a liveley friendly bunch.