We have not had sex in two weeks!?

Question

I am 18 weeks pregnant with our first child. My husband and I are thrilled. I have recently been starting to become more self-concious about my weight and how my body looks. The problem....we have not had any type of sexual contact for two weeks. He has not mentioned or tried to initiate ANYTHING. I give it a try every few days or so with no result. He has been the sweetest that I could have imagined. He is always kissing me and cuddling me and telling me how beautiful I am. I don't understand what is going on. I have yet to mention to him that this is bothering me and I am going to, but I wanted some advice first. I can't help but think that he is not attracted to me at this point. My mind has even strayed as far as thinking that he could be cheating on me. I am sure that I am blowing this way out of proportion. Anyone with any similar situations? Please help.

Thank you all so much for your advice. I am going to talk to him when I get home tonight.

Answer 1

just ask him. he might just be afraid that he would "hurt" you or the baby. a lot of men tend to treat you like you are breakable when pregnant.

you have to reassure him that it's OKAY to have sex while pregnant. it does NOT hurt the baby, or you for that matter, and can be an incredible way to bond w/your husband while you share in the joy of a new life.

don't be self-conscious hon, your nurturing life! there is nothing more sexy than that! part of him is growing inside you because of the love you share. that should be celebrated, not something your ashamed of.
pregnancy is beautiful!
have him go with you to a doctors appointment and have the doctor tell him about sex during pregnancy. maybe a medical opinion assuring him that everything is fine will help him relax.

maybe he realizes that you don't "feel" sexy, and doesn't want to pressure you about it.

it could be many reasons...but one thing is for sure...if you don't ask you will never know, and you will continue to feel the way you do. that's not fun!

Answer 2

your just over reacting :) This is common during pregnancy, we have all been there at some point or another. Best thing to do is try talking with him and telling him how you feel. I bet i know how he might be feeling. This is his first child. Hes scared of hurting you or the baby. Most men have this fear and its very very real for them. We dont always give them the credit they need, but i think hes just scared or somehow hurting the baby or you. but reassure him that sex is completly safe during pregnancy :) Im sure hes very much so attracted to you, im sure hes not cheating on you, and im sure your sure too LOL :) You know him better than anyone else, and your pregnancy is probably taking a toll on him as well as it is you and of course your emotions :)!!! Its becomming more and more real to him each day and im sure he has many worries and stresses now with a baby on the way :) hang in there and talk with him, im sure you will have a wonderful talk and understand it all in the end :) and probably have a good make up night HAHAHA

mom of 4 boys and 32 weeks with boy 5!!!

Answer 3

Relax. There are probably a lot of things going through your husband's head right now, and none of them involve cheating. Many people on here mentioned that he may think he'll hurt the baby, and that could indeed be a possibility. You can sit him down and set him straight, or you could arrange for your doctor to bring it up the next time he accompanies you to an appointment if you think he'll want a more authoritative answer. Apart from that, he may indeed find your body less attractive now that you're pregnant. Hey, we're men and we can't help it - some of us don't like the weight gain and other changes that result from pregnancy... including the mental ones. You said that you haven't had sex in two weeks, but you didn't mention whether or not you've been going through hormone-induced mood swings with crying jags and shouting one minute, and a case of the hornies the next. We don't want to initiate anything if the woman is going to bite our head off in mid-coitus. Finally, and I think the most likely because I went through it, he's starting to see you as the mother of his children rather than as the beautiful, sexy woman you've been thus far. It's natural, just like you women go through your "nesting" time during pregnancy. If you think about it, it's really kind of sweet. He's putting you on a pedestal of sorts. Now it's just up to you to step down off of it. You've said you've "tried every few days or so" but I wonder if that just means you've asked him to have sex. Have you initiated? Have you started caressing or performing oral on him while you're in bed? You need to get proactive. You could even try waking him up with you on top of him. The point is, if he's feeling how I think he's feeling, you can't just mention that you want sex, you'll have to take him (or it) by the hand and go for what you want. He'll play along, I promise!

Answer 4

I'm sure he's not cheating, nor is he un-attracted to you.

This is actually common with couples who are prego - he's probably afraid he'll hurt you by having sex with you. YOU know he can't, and he might consciously know he can't, but the subconscious fears can drive our normally logical minds crazy.

Plus, there's the fact that he's stressed, and stress can cause many people to get out of the mood, or never get in the mood. And two weeks isn't bad, hon! It gets worse once the baby's born because you're both tired and stressed, you'll feel out of it, and it might be that YOU are the one who doesn't want to have sex at that point.

But talk with him. Remind him that this is a normal thing that couples go through. Have a talk with your Obstetrician if you're worried about this, and s/he'll assure you both that you're fine to commence sex again. If he's worried, he can always find other ways to fulfill your needs *hint hint*, but don't worry, just remember to communicate and talk about your fears and worries.

Answer 5

It's very common for a man to feel uncomfortable about having sex while his woman is pregnant. He might worry that he is going to hurt you, or the baby. Talk to him about it and reassure him that it's ok. If he still doesn't want to, try just doing other things to be intimate. Maybe it will lead to sex, or maybe not. But the important thing is to communicate and not feel like this is building a wall between you.

Answer 6

You should let him know he may be scared of hurting the baby, remind him sex is better now no need to worry about getting pregnant. Surprise him one night pop in a "Movie" if you know what I mean, just say "Oh Honey looks whats on" that'll get him going. Let him know it's okay, he is probably getting use to the fact your pregnant especially if your body is changing, remember this is all new to him too. Good luck

Answer 7

He may be afraid of hurting the baby or having a hard time dealing with the idea that you are a mother and a sexual being. The best thing is to be honest and tell him that you want to have sex and that he cannot hurt the baby.

Answer 8

yeah I feel this all the time.. I think its just part of being pregnant.. I've never had a problem with self esteem and I never thought I'd be THAT pregnat lady always talking about how fat she is.. but I am. I try to tell myself that I'm fine and there is nothing wrong with me.. but somtimes I can't help but think I'm unattractive. My advise to you... go shopping..or better yet .. make your husband take you shopping.. buy some sexy lingerie.. they make some cute stuff that still looks cute on prego chicks.

Answer 9

I would say you are probably blowing it way out of proportion. Some men are afraid that having sex will "hurt" the baby. Talk to him about it, I am sure you will both feel better.

Answer 10

Have you considered the possibility that he is avoiding sexual contact out of consideration for your condition. Some men don't understand how much sexual activity a pregnant woman can safely take. Some men think it is mildly dangerous/kinky/anti-social to indulge in sexual activity with a pregnant woman