Let me start from the beginning...I was dating this girl who is amazing, but alas it didn't work out, I became her friend afterward, and we were real close, but I was constantly getting my heart broken cause my hopes would be brought up and then they would come smashing down, I was losing my touch with God and I needed Him to heal me, so I said we can't be friends right now cause it was to painfull...By the way she was also dating someone, wich made it harder for me. Now please note I'm not a game player when it comes to relationships I believe games hurt people and are bad. And I felt like games were being played in this situation. When I heal I wanted to be friends with her again because I don't want 4 years of friendship to be ruined, and I care for her very much. But now she sais that she doesn't want to be friends, and I think that she is afraid of being hurt by me again...What do I do?
2007-04-24 06:16:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This girl wants to be your friend and has never wanted to play "games" with you. She wants God's will in her life and wants to do the right thing.....but most of all she wants to be your friend again because she cares about you very much too. God Bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-04-24 07:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am ashamed to say, I've been that girl. It's nice to have someone around who is always available and always in love with you. And if you've laid down the "we're just friends" law, it's easy to say "I was upfront about my feelings; he knew the score." Honestly, if she were a true friend, she would agree that you need time away from her to recover from your break up 4 years ago and get over her once and for all.
My best advice is, move on and try to heal. Perhaps when you do, you will find that she was getting what she needed out of the friendship and you weren't. And you deserve to. You have told her that you need to heal, which means the friendship will change. She doesn't want that. You need it to change. She doesn't want that. Move on and try to heal. And plan a life that doesn't include her. Remember the good times fondly and feel sad that SHE chose to end that. After some time passes and you feel strong and independent, drop her a line; she might be ready then, after she's had time to miss you. Rest assured, down the road she will think of you wistfully, though her time frame may not match yours.
What a disheartening predicament to be in. I hope it gets better!
2007-04-24 06:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by Cat 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ooooo, this is a toughie, but in essence, you might just have to let her go. I know it's hard but it'll be better for both of you in the end. You obviously seem to still have feelings for her, and everytime you're around her they'll only get stronger. And the problem with that is, the more you deny them, the stronger they'll get. I realize you guys have 4 years of friendship between you two, but wouldn't you think that after 4 years, if you really only saw her as a friend, you wouldn't have a problem with her dating someone else? If you want to get away from the mind games and being hurt, please do both yourself and her a favour and move on, completely! Think about all the missed opportunities you could have had with other girls, and think about all the opportunities that are waiting for you now. You will, one day, meet the girl of your dreams, and your friend will become nothing but the past. Cherish the time you guys spent together, but hun, it's time to move on and heal.
2007-04-24 06:26:17 · answer #3 · answered by chicyuna 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on, four years is not a life commitment. It is actually a short time in our lives. There is a better girl out there for you my friend and the last thing you new girl will want, you having some friendship? relationship with some girl you wish you could have had. You see, cut and run is best here and if you try to rationalize or figure out some warped way of getting back into her life, it will only hinder you from moving forward with your own. You will have a hundred friends in your life. As Spock said "The good of one friend, does not out-way the good of having many new ones". :0 ) OK not really a great quote, but still makes for good use here.
Best wishes
Tracylyn
2007-04-24 06:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was in the same situation years ago it seems so long ago. I wanted to keep his friendship as well, but it seemed that fear is what drove our actions after we both hurt each other. Ironically, I am not one to be afraid for most things because I believe "It is better to have loved than not to have loved at all", and i am a combination of girly, tomboy, but despite it all, we did not keep our friendship. I wonder by the sincerity of your writting if you speak that way to her, if not you should because it sure works in getting your motives and intentions thru. At least that way you know and she knows what you want and from there let her tell you in the same sincerity what she wants. Good luck, "Carpe Diem"
2007-04-24 06:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by sandra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no she is not playing games with you. she said she wanted to be friends. so you were friends. it was YOU who couldnt handle the friendship. perhaps you thought she didnt mean friends really, perhaps you had hopes that she'd get back with you, but instead she went on to date someone else. you assumed she was playing games but from what you said, it seemed she was very upfront with you. now you are pouting and not wanting to be friends because you cant handle that she is in another relationship. women know when men want more from them, and she doesnt want to lead you on. bravo for her for deciding to not be your friend. since you can't get over her it might be best. you see she wanted to be a friend to you, nothing else. and you have made it clear you were pretending to be friends in hopes of something more. so no she's not afraid of herself being hurt, she afraid you will get hurt. take care.
2007-04-24 06:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by The Cougar 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Let it be. She isn't good for you, because she was sent by the destruct-or. Get your barrings and move on, there is someone totally wonderful out there for you and it isn't a game playing girl. And whatever you do don't let your faith waiver one bit, Keep your feet planted solidly on the ground.
2007-04-24 06:24:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a simular situation.
She finally cut the friendship and never said why.
Try to be friends
2007-04-24 06:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by robert p 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends on why you two broke up. If she is the one who broke up with you and now she doesnt want to be your friend either because you say you cant handle it - then I think you need to find your God and move on.
2007-04-24 06:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by Leigh 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Show her this post. It's very touching. Hopefully she'll come around, once she understands your feelings.
2007-04-24 06:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by star_lite57 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋