Should I worry about my sons future?

Question

I worry that my son will turn into another unemployed statistic.
He is 14 and very intelectual and does well at school. But I worry because he only has 3 freinds who he sees regularly. They hardly ever go out and socialise and the only thing my son does is play the playstation.
When his friends come around they all just play the playstation. There seems to be no get up and go with him.
When I was younger(not that long ago im 34) I made go karts out of old prams, built tree houses etc. I had a saturday job at 12 and left school at 16 because I wanted to get out there and earn enough money to buy my 1st car.
I try as a parent to make him interested in other things. I recently bought him a guitar, which he only practices when I tell him to turn the Playstation off.

Answer 1

he's fourteen, don't worry too much about it. Find someone that is really popular that plays guitar to help him by teaching him guitar. I would suggest looking at church or someplace. Just try to get him invovled with a couple of new people. He's just now going through puberty he probably isn't so sure of himself yet. If you can get him one new friend that will introduce him to others and help him break out of his shell then he'll be fine. There isn't much to worry about, he's young and will probably start coming out of his shell through high school. Don't worry about his future yet, it's a way away.

Answer 2

You Don't Need To Worry About Him Being Unemployed.

You Say He Is Intelectual And Does Well In School, Give Him A Break With The Playstation; If Might Give Him The Ideas Of Becoming A Computer Programmer, or Create Video Games, People Want Them Video Games And He Can Make Alot Of Money With His Interest, There Is A Future In It!

He Reminds Me Exactly Like My Cousin In Colorado; He Had All Sorts Of Interests In Electronics, Started Out Taking Computers Apart And Wanting To Rebuild Them ( Started Out He Couldn't Ever Do It, Until He Learned How On His Own ), Then Build Them From Scratch, Always Irritated The Snot Out Of Me Always Talking About Stupid Computers, Always Telling Me stuff About them That Programmers Know That I Didn't, That I Didn't Care To Know, And Guess What? I'm 23 Working Mediocure Jobs To Help Support My Family, Not Getting To Go Back To School Yet, And He Started Making $10.00 An Hr., Designing Web Pages For Different Organizations, Now Is Actually Making More Than That, And He Is Just Entering College At 19! Still He Ticks Me Off!

But Anyway, Don't Knock On Something Till You See The Benefits It Has For His Future, Unless It Gets To The Point That It Destroys His Mind And Schoolwork.

Besides That, If You Know Bill Gates, He Was 16 In High School When Him And A Couple Of His Friends Designed And Made Microsoft What It Is Today, And You See Where He's At Now.

Answer 3

Mom be happy that he is at home and out of trouble. That is a blessing. There is so much going on in the world and if the least of your worries is a son that is doing well in school but stays at home with only 3 friends, COUNT your blessings. I have 4 boys, 22, 20, 18 and 6 years old. There were 2 that all they did growing up was play those silly games and still do. One is very outgoing and the other stayed home. They both are in college and doing well for themselves.
The oldest that was outgoing, he just started college and lives on his own and is very independant but stills plays he games.
The 20 year old is in his 2nd year and he still plays his games, still only has about 3 friends but he is a little more active since going to college. He goes out with his friends and his brother a lot more now. He also only had one job, that he got when he was 16 yrs and he works it still when he comes home for vacation.
My 18 year old, barely played the games and was always home. I was like you and worried most about him. I thought that he didn't have any friends. He is in his 1st year in college and I can't catch up with him. He has a bunch of friends and always did. He just wasn't into the same things all the time and so he stayed home. He is into the church. He wants to get into the ministry.
My six year old loves the games. He has them all at 6 yrs. His brothers have groomed him well and his father spoils him. He loves sports and kids over the house all the time.

Mom it's okay. Keep him near. Appreciate the time he spends at home. Sit and spend time with him. There are so many lost lives from being out in the streets. He will be okay. Keep it in prayer and be at peace. Believe me when I say, that if he was gone all the time and had more friends, this would have been a different type of question. The world is very different from when we were children.

Answer 4

My brother was similar but as he got older and made more friends it got bettter. I think you should regulate his gaming time.

My mum doesn't let us play the playstation at all during the week, and at the weekend we get 45 minutes each per day. It often ends in fights but it's the only fair way (there are 4 of us).

Also, speaking from my own experience, children and teenagers don't like to be pushed in to hobbies. Maybe he's not that much into music and guitar playing. If he can find something that he really loves, he will do it because he genuinely enjoys it.

I hope this helps!!

Answer 5

y worry? my brother was like ur son. he's now 24, works in a bank, has a (apparenlty lovely, personally dnt think so) girlfriend and now he's not studying goes out n socialises more. my bro also just used to play on his computer. u gotta remember, times change, i kno there was NES, n SNES abt in the 80's, but when u grew up they weren't around (assuming, maths is bad @ 1.50am) so u dnt hav much else to do but get into making stuff. kids now are engroaged to grow up quickly.

just cuz he dnt seem 2 hav any get up n go dnt mean he'll b a bum. personally, i fink u suld b ashamed 2 evn think this! if he were going out all hours, coming bk when eva, n gettin in 2 drugs n drink...n not bothering @ skool THATS when u got a problem, not when he's doing gr8 at school! so what if he's only got 3 close friedns u kno of? hardly matters does it?

oh, n if u keep on abt how u left skool @ 16 cuz u wanted enuf money 4 a car, he'll not bother that hard @ skool if u aint careful. engorage him to go 6th form or college, mayb evn uni! i bet u'll find he's already planned what he wants to do in 6th form

Answer 6

Not everyone is the same!
Maybe he only needs three friends. Believe me, if these three are the kind of kids you like, then you are very lucky.
Bright kids have a tough time at school finding suitable friends, as being clever is not something the other kids admire.
Trying to get him doing something else is a good idea, but frankly, these days, kids are just less active. Take the examples you give - these days if you tried building a tree house somebody would phone the council and complain!

Answer 7

hi, my boy is twelve, and i limit his time on the PlayStation and also the PC, he also does chores to earn things! he cant wait to be 13 so he can get a paper round, purely because i wont provide him with everything he desires. I think these days kids have far too much instant entertainment, with all the gaming consoles and TV 24 hours a day, my boys find it sooooo unbelievable that we only had 4 channels and 2 hours of kids TV a day! I'm only 31, my kids think i was born in the stone age! as kids we had no choice but to make our own entertainment, as long as he is doing well at school, and not getting into trouble with drugs, the police and girls count yourself lucky, and limit his intake or make him earn it!

Answer 8

Put the playstation in a locked closet and cut off his spending money! He is bright, he will figure it out. Be ready for him to be angry, sad, begging, throwing things, etc. Tell him calmly that you know he's upset, but you are really trying to help him and his future life. These are your your last few years to prepare him for adulthood. Don't fail him. He needs a parent who can do what is best for him, not just give him what he WANTS!!!

Yes, he will go to his friends' house, but chances are great he will soon be home and looking for a job to get himself some of the things he wants. Even if he paid for the Playstation with his own money, put it up!!! It is the best thing for him, honestly!

Answer 9

Don't worry at all. He's at home with you, thats the main thing. My eldest son does have his first car and I never see him. You can't compare kids these days to when you were that age, they have everything so easy, they don't have to MAKE go karts, they just get parents to take them to use the real thing (if they don't own one already!) Society is to blame, not the kids, they are just a version of what we do, only it's playstation not soaps.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are really helping your son out, which is fine. But if he wants your help, you need to put your foot down. He's about to be a father, take him to the doctor to get him on Chantix (it really works!), limit the late nights to only the weekends, and make sure he has a job. Sit him down and tell him your best interests are for him and the baby and if he wants your help, he has to act like an adult. If you really think that he is doing drugs, talk about it and suggest he take a hair drug test for your peace of mind. If he is doing drugs, he needs treatment and you might want to consider taking temporary custody of the child when it's born, assuming the mother is like him. Good luck! At least you know that you will be a great grandmother.