My wife speaks to her ex-boyfriend, is this normal?

Question

My wife and her ex-boyfriend of almost 2 years communicate and keep in contact via e-mail and telephone it's not regular and she doesn't hide it from me but still it bugs the hell out of me. This guy is famous, so I suggested next time he's intown we get together for dinner so I can meet him too. She says she'd never cheat but I don't trust her with this guy because I know she has some feelings there. She says he is like a brother, but in an e-mail of hers I read to him she said that she is committed to our marriage and completely in love with me but feels guilt because she still feels like she loves him as well. I'm worried that this is temptation, an annoyance for me, and could be a basis for adultry. Am I overreacting?

Answer 1

This is definitely not overreacting. You are absolutely right. Have you addressed this email you found with her? She pretty much completely lays her feelings out there.

Ask her to end this friendship with this ex-boyfriend, out of respect for you and for your marriage. Would she not want you to do the same.. especially after finding out that you still had feelings for an ex?

She is not dense.. she knows that continuing to be close with this guy is nothing but bad news. She should really stop.

Temptation is hard enough to resist when you stumble upon it.. why would you intentionally place yourself in situations where you can be tempted?

Not a good idea

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Your marriage is only at risk if you or her let it. Ex boyfriend's can be a harmless thing and you said, he's sort of famous and there's a friendship there. It's a "guy thing" as my boyfriend likes to put it - that the current men in a womans life never want to know that there's another option for her. So continue to love her & treat her with kindness, respect and affection and she will remain yours. There are exceptions to the rule, but from what you said, it does not seem to be your case. Quality marriages thrive on the attentativeness of the people in the them and the effort they each put forth to making the marriage a priority in their lives.

Answer 4

I didnt like it when my ex husband was keeping close contact with ex gf or 'sisterly female friends'. though, that's why we are now divorced cuz he treated me secondary to any other woman in his life. did your wife cheat on her ex? why did they break up? When you are married, you should sever completely any ties to exes and not make new friends of the opposite sex unless they are also friends of your spouse or family member and you have to draw a line. it's just respectful and loving that way. whether your wife could be tempted to infidelity is unknown but if it's causing you discomfort you should tell her and she should realize making you feel better is her priority. peace

Answer 5

I think it's a good idea for you and her to meet up with him next he is in town and just have fun. When people are in a relationship for a long time there will always be a small amount of feelings for them but that doesn't mean they will want them back. It didn't work with them and she even told him she is commited to you. I don't think you should worry. But good idea to meet him and become aquaintances. I don't find a thing wrong with that. Don't show any jelousy you may have. Tell her you trust her 100% and when you meet him tell her he seems like a fun guy and you all should do it again sometime. Good way to make her smile to make her know you trust her.

Answer 6

i agree it would bother me as well, but at least its not everyday and she does tell you about it which is a positive sign.Does she know how much u don't like it? Who knows maybe they really were better off friends but i persoanlly havce no need to be friends w/ any of my ex's, friendly yes but not talk on the phone and e mail. I don't think u really have much to worry about only the fact that it drives u crazy which i can't blame u for. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Based on your description of the contents of her note, your wife lacks integrity. She can't be totally in love with you and totally committed to you (and thus totally respect you and your feelings) if she still feels "love" for him. She's all over the map, and she sounds awefully immature emotionally. She probably got her emotional education from dysfunctional characters on soap operas or something.

The sad thing is this: you married a woman with integrity issues.

Answer 8

Nope your are not overreacting. NO its not normal for her to be talking to her EX boyfriend. Its temptation and infatuation. Keep an eye on your wife.

Answer 9

I don't think you are overreacting, either.

She has done nothing wrong....but the idea of the possibility of something happening is there and it is stressing you out. I totally understand you and think she should cut all communication immediately. For your sake, your peace of mind and for the marriage you both share! Her ex should understand things have changed and she is married now.

I wouldn't have any type of communication with an ex if I were married..(.I wouldn't like my husband to have communication with an ex, so why do to others what you wouldn't like them to do to you?)

Remember to tell her....If you play with fire, you will get burned.

Answer 10

Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/t8rxg
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.