I have been with the same guy for two years and we have a baby. He cheated when I was pregnant (for about months) and even though this was over a year ago he still lies about it. For as long as we have been together he will lie about everything. I have threatened to leave him but he swears he will not lie again but he always does. I have another 3 year old daughter living with us as well and I want to do what is best for me and them. It boils down to this...love isn't always enough. If someone really loved you they would not lie right? Keep in mind this is the short version of things he has done. Do you think that a person will change if he has not done so the entire time you have been together?
2007-04-24 05:11:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your boyfriend (I'm assuming you're just living together, not married) needs to get some serious psychological counseling. If he is constantly lying, then he is a pathological liar and he needs help to get over this obsession he as with it. Some people do it because they simply cannot help themselves - like stealing or smoking or gambling. Its like an addiction.
If you can get him in to a counselor things might get better. But always be aware that things might not change, and you may need to stick to your original plan to get out. And if I were in your position, I would walk too.
2007-04-24 05:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will only change if he is willing to change. If he admits he has a problem and he wants to fix it. If he has to lie, that's his own personal problem. If he's lying then it's simple, he's doing something that he doesn't want you to know about. WHY? Is he in-secure? Is he still cheating? Does he feel like a failure in some ways and lying to impress you? I don't know what his lies are about, so it's difficult to tell.
The only thing that I would do at this time, is talk about how you feel and ask him alot of questions. This would have to be when you have a babysitter and you sort of make an appointment with him. Tell him that you have to talk, because this is your life! You want to know what's going on in your life! Tell him that you wanted a man that loved you and will do anything to make you and your children happy and that is not what he's doing. Tell him if he changes, you could make him the happiest person on this planet.
Always compliment your man. Tell him all the things that you love about him. Tell him he could have the world by the (you know what) only if he acts like a man and raises a family. He will get back what he gives. Tell him if he is going to lie to you and try to play you for a fool, your picking up and moving on, because you want to find a REAL MAN. Good Luck
2007-04-24 12:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not going to change. He is not honest and he puts a lot of stress in your life. Some people are just not good for us in life no matter how much we try. He cheated on you in the relationship, and is not stable to be around you and your children. Cheating is always a choice .......it is never a mistake. He is irresponsible and doesn't even know what he wants out of life. he brings you down and not up in life. He is a bad choice for you and he broke the trust! You need to be there in life for your children and not trying to survive a std disease! He is careless and thoughtless where your feelings are concerned. You can do better than that and there are plenty of good men out there.......so push him out of your way! He does not respect you are the children. After he betrayed you there will never be another day that you won't look at him differently. Some men are so selfish and hurtfull and when you needed him most through your pregnancy he disregarded you and proved his true character. It is out there as plain as the nose on your face. I am sorry but if you continue to let him in he will only hurt you more. You may always feel a certain way about him because of what you had hoped it to be........but all the love in the world you have to give him will not change him to be right. He is what he is and has proven himself to you already. to continue on the same path with him will only cause your life heartache and pain! You deserve more than he is able to give. Move on in your life for the betterment of the good. Be happy in your world not sad. There is better and you can expect more it is your God given right. Good Luck Sweetie.
2007-04-24 12:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex told alot of lies. it was awful. they weren't even huge lies, just a steady stream of lies that eroded any trust or respect that i had for him in the beginning. people that lie often have issues that need professional help. my ex refused to see a counselor. maybe yours would be willing to go to couples counseling. no, love is not always enough, but if you still have the energy and strength to try counseling and he is wanting and willing to change then at least you will know you tried everything you could for your baby.
2007-04-24 12:44:43 · answer #4 · answered by adelaide 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I foyu are waiting for the truth dont hold your breath, cheaters will only admit to what you can absolutely prove and deny all else. Of course if you later prove that something they denied the usually response is "Ok, I did do that, but I didnt do any of those other things"
Source: 5 yrs with a cheating ex wife
2007-04-24 12:16:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a person can change if they are willing to change. It does not appear from your short description as though your guy is willing to change. So you need to decide if you can continue living with his behaviors or not. Only you can make this decision. Good luck.
2007-04-24 12:14:59 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He won't change. But the problem is not just him, it's you. You are attracted to guys like him. Or else you wouldn't have babies from different father serially. You are lying to yourself about how good you are. Take stock of yourself first and then you can have expectations of what you deserve.
2007-04-24 12:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope! This man will not change at all. He's already shown you proof of that over and over again.
Do what's best for your kids and go make a life for them and you.
2007-04-24 12:15:39 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's not going to change especially if you keep telling him you'll leave and then you don't. all your doing is giving him empty threats and not showing him you won't put up with that! love isn't always enough, you have to have trust!
2007-04-24 12:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by JM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You, my dear, are an enabler. You enable his behavior by
not leaving his sorry azz. He'll never change. If he regrets anything, it's getting caught.
2007-04-24 12:27:32 · answer #10 · answered by ok 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋