My husband never wants to get his kids(grown) from his first marriage together with our 3 boys. I'm having a cookout with my family should I invite his kids? Our boys know who thier brothers and sister are but don't realy know them. He never wants our boys or me around his other kids. So should I invite them? I don't know if they will come or not.
2007-04-24 04:58:12 · 17 answers · asked by Vonvon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I get along with his kids. They get along with oor boys.
2007-04-24 05:14:02 · update #1
Call his kids up and invite them all.
2007-04-24 06:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know your intentions are good, but if he doesn't want them there, then as much of a shame as that is you really need to respect his wishes. Don't do anything that will cause troubles in your relationship with your husband. Talk to him though, tell him that you would like to invite them and ask him why he never lets them come around. Tell him that you think that your children should get to know there other siblings. If he is still firmly against it, then I wouldn't go there. Not until he is ready to do so.
2007-04-24 05:08:28 · answer #2 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, speaking from experience, you should ask your husband again how he would feel if you invited his older children over the a cookout and if he is against it then you have to honor his wishes and let it go. I'm sure he has his reasons and you can't force this on him if this is something he doesn't want. Just continue to be a good step-mom to them and just let them know you will always be there for them if they ever need you but you can't force them to spend time together you will be asking for trouble. good luck
2007-04-24 05:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by Pegi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to know WHY he doesn't want his grown children around the children he has with you. There may be a very legitimate reason behind it. I have a friend who is in your husband's situation, has older children from his first marriage, younger children from the 2nd. The older children are a mess, they've lived with their mother (who is also a mess) and one is extremely promiscuous, the other does drugs. Obviously, he doesn't want to expose his younger children to people like that, even if they are their siblings.
I wouldn't invite his older children without consulting with him first. Explain your concerns that your children also know their older siblings, and then leave it at that.
2007-04-24 05:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inviting his kids when you know the doesn't want you to is an invitation to disaster. Let me ask you this, how would you feel if he invited someone you didn't want to come, behind your back.
I would suggest you work on finding out "WHY" he doesn't what his kids to get together, then work on how to change that if it is possable and a good idea. Get a councilor if you need to.
2007-04-24 05:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i'm accumulating right here is that your aunts invited all those extra desirable human beings, ultimate? it incredibly is incredibly rude. they are not in fee of the two experience and to easily assume they are invited in incorrect. you're able to desire to have your sister and MOH call those Aunts back and tell them that regrettably the customer checklist is constrained for the two activities by way of fact of funds the venue length, and that they gained't be receiving an invite. they'd desire to make an apology and end with, "i'm hoping you already know." end of tale.
2016-11-27 01:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it particular that he doenst want his first children to interact with you or your kids, after all they are half brothers/sisters. Do not go against his wish, you would not want him to do the same to you and maybe he has legitimate reasons for not wanting them there. I would try to understand why he's so against it and maybe there is a way to make him see how wonderful it would be to share family moments with them. It's only more people to love.
2007-04-24 05:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would completely ruin the day, simply because the tension would be unbearable. Explain to your husband that you wish for the entire family to be there and ask him why he is against it. It is weird that they don't come around, especially if they are grown!
2007-04-24 05:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't he want everyone to interact?
Do you get along with your step-kids?
Maybe his other kids are mad at him for divorcing their mother and he feels they would be a negative influence to your kids.
2007-04-24 05:04:17 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work it out with him. If you act on your own he will likely go orbital. It is his call in the end, but you are on the right path.
2007-04-24 05:05:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋