I have a few concerns about my marriage, can you help? Wife loves to flirt and dance with other men AND?

Question

she always tells me she wishes I were bigger down there. I am small but that's what god gave me. Now she has successfully given me an inferiorarity complex because I am thinking she is flirting because she wants to find some man to get it on with that has a huge P.

Would any of you wives torment your hubby like this. Tell me I am small and flirt and dance with young men?

Am I wrong for confronting her? I am afraid if I confront her she might get mad????

Answer 1

What you need is a woman who will focus on the important things and forget all the shallow flirting and the unkind remarks about your willy. There are plenty of women who will treat you right and ask only that you focus all your attention and all your desire on her. If you have the drive and desire you can satisfy her just fine without having a big member down there.
She is treating you terribly and you should find a real woman. Yes.....confront her and tell her that if this keeps up you are leaving her. Tell her exactly why. Dont be afraid to break away and find a real woman if thats what it takes. Life is too short to put up with that kind of treatment.

Answer 2

What you are experiencing is ABUSE. If the roles were reversed and it was a man saying and doing these kinds of things to a woman there would be no question in anyone's mind that it was mental abuse. She is acting like a bully and being just plain mean. There is NO room for that in a marriage....EVER.

To answer your first question: No, I would never in a million years treat my husband like that. That's not how you treat someone you love and respect. In my opinion, her behavior is inexcusable. How would she feel if you started telling her butt was too big or her breasts were too small and then started looking to flirt with other women? She probably would not be too happy.

And to answer your other question, NO, you are not wrong in confronting her. I would sit her down and tell her that what she is saying is hurtful. It doesn't matter WHY it's hurtful. The fact that you SAY it is hurtful is enough. And tell her that she needs to stop it immediately. I would also tell her that if she seriously feels that she needs to have sex with another man, then there is no point in continuing the marriage. I would make it VERY clear that infidelity is completely unacceptable and even TALKING (or joking) about it is also.

She will might come back and say "I'm only kidding". That doesn't make a difference. It's still UNACCEPTABLE to you and that's all that should be important to her.

If she gets mad SO WHAT? She needs to hear that she's acting like a horney slut instead of a loving wife. The truth hurts but in this case, someone needs to tell her she's acting like a tramp. Let her get mad but STAND YOUR GROUND. Let her know it's either stop acting that way or SHE can hit the road. (you're not leaving)

Be a MAN and stand up for yourself and stand up to her. You don't have to be a jerk about how you say it. You can still be kind. But you have to be firm. Don't let her off the hook with the "but you know I love you" line or the "im only teasing you" line. If she says that, tell her "It doesn't matter. What you are doing is hurtful and wrong and I want you to stop it right now". And you need to be prepared to take action if she doesn't.

After you talk with her and explain how you feel, if you are out with her and she begins to act that way again, ask her ONCE to stop. If she continues, leave the place without her immediately. Let her find her own way home. Go home and pack her stuff and put it in front of the front door with a $20 and tell her to go find somewhere else to live. Cancel the joint credit cards, put a freeze on the checking accoount and savings account.

This kind of a woman does not deserve any sympathy or kindness from you at that point.

There is NOTHING wrong with expecting your spouse to treat you with kindness. And there is NOTHING wrong with speaking up to ANYONE who treats you poorly.

Personally, as a woman, I would consider a man to be weak and spineless if he did NOT stand up to a woman that treated him badly. That is WAY more unattractive than any perceived "shortcomings" in the the intimate department! ;)

Answer 3

You seriously need to take control of your life. This is NOT the way to live. Quit being afraid and start being proactive. Confronting her about the flirting is fine. How do you know she isn't doing that just to see if you care? You don't, it bothers you, let her know it bothers you. Dancing with other men is not a crime, dancing with other men provocatively, is disresepctful to you however, and you need to defend that.

As for the size thing, when she says she wishes you were bigger down there just tell her "Yeah, well I wanted a wife with bigger boobs/better abs/better booty (you get the idea) but I make do with what I have, maybe you should too". And see how she responds. Normally I'd never advise turning something like that back on someone, but this calls for extreme measures, you MUST take back your life and send a STRONG message that you are doing so. Quite taking this crap.

Answer 4

My wife is exciting too ... and has accepted my 'limitations' as well. I'm pretty sure that all of our wives know that there is always someone 'bigger than us', and who 'performs better than we do'. Most of them wouldn't say so. But it's got to be in their thought world somewhere. Still, the idea that she's flirting and dancing because she's looking for 'better endowment & prowess' is probably just between your ears buddy. You're tromenting yourself!

Without getting on the 'communications mantra' bandwagon, let me just encourage you to tell your wife that you are feeling insecure. If she's like most women, she'll just love you more for it. I think it takes a 'true man' to talk about this insecurity; which, by the way, I really believe haunts all men. Don't confront! Reveal your vulnerability.

Answer 5

I think you may have missed the point.
your wife flirts and dances because she enjoys social interaction. that is simply the way she relates to other people, and to some extent it is none of your business because to deny her that interaction is nothing but censoring her.
she is an adult, and until such time as she oversteps the mark (and dancing isn't overstepping) you have no right to try to control her.
instead, focus on what you can give to the relationship.
if she doesn't respond positively then maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship.
she teases you about how small you are "down there" because you are acting like a small person.
enjoy life. she will notice the difference.

Answer 6

She is quite inmature since obviously she is not over the party scene, and because she dares to belittle her spouse. Shame on her.

If she continues flirting and making you feel bad, I don't see this progresing into anything positive. Marriage is about building and not tearing apart. Sorry, but she is not your match.

Confronting her will only give her the oprtunityt o belittle you some more. If I was you, I'll be seeking a marriage counselor and a lawyer. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean, but this is NOT good nor healthy or normal. I always strikes my man's ego because that what men look for in a relationship, and if she is disrespecting you and putting you down, is not a loving gesture and no one should put up with that.

Good luck

Answer 7

You do need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Everyone flirts, no biggy. However when it makes your spouse or someone else feel badly, then that's where the problem occurs. Be forward with her, let her know how you feel about being belittled for your size and also how her flirting has affected your confidence in your relationship. Be honest. If she cares, she'll consider what you are saying, evaluate it from your point of view, and change her behavior to accommodate your feelings.

Answer 8

my sympathies r with u. She is definately doing the wrong thing & she may have to repent afterwards. U can politely tell her that she should give u the desired attention than to look for outsiders since u r her hubby u love her , your love is true . it is not just the "lust" like others have for her.Make her understand the difference between the love & lust . love os life long bond & lust is just an hour stand at the most. Besides life is not just the sex or big "dick" sort of thing it is much more than that. If she does'nt agree what u say(judge her actions) then it is better that u look for someone who can love u than & sex is secondary object not the primary as it seems that your wife keeps it above all even it is more important to her than your relationship. sex fades with the passage of life but relation gets stronger with the increasing years of life. She may understand this in last years of life when she is left alone by the big dick givers as she lose her charm for them.

Answer 9

Dang any "good" wife would tell you that it was huge no matter what size it really was and size doesnt matter its what you do with it!!! Im personally a VERY flirty person I love to go out once in a great while to prove I still got it ya know a total confidance booster but that it is for me I like attention but Id never do anything bout it. And when I got home wowie he was VERY happy I did because he got all the attention.
Talk to her see why she wants to go out and explain that when she demeans you guy what you feel.

Answer 10

No I would never do or say anything to make my partner feel less of a man. The same way he would never make me feel less of a woman.

You're not wrong in confronting her. She is cruel and selfish. Stand up for yourself and if she gets mad, so what?! Do you really want a wife that puts you down and flirts with other men?

It's time to take control of the reins and let her know that you will no longer put up with this type of treatment.