Did he take the lunch invitation the wrong way? Did he misread what I said?

Question

I had a friend who I invited to lunch with my daughter and me after church on sunday. He had helped me out at my house a few times last summer. We never really met until then. THen, I started getting secret pal cards and him watching me a lot. But, that is not why I invited him to lunch. I wanted to be friends with him but he made it into something else. I thought maybe I would like to get to know him better but now that is not possible.

Answer 1

No he did not misread you, you misspoke. You can't invite a guy to lunch when you already know he likes you and then pretend it was just to be friend. Who is kidding who here? You now have to cancel the lunch and tell him the truth about how you feel.

Nice going there.

Answer 2

If you're sure you don't want to explore a relationship with this guy, then it's time to back waaaay off. Not that you were wrong to invite him to lunch, but it's clear he's read more into it than you intended.

Okay, this means giving up the free help at home, too. He sees himself as becoming part of your life, maybe in a way you don't intend. Are you sure the "secret pal" cards come from him? You can always show him the cards, profess not to know who sent them, and say, "You know, I'm a little worried. This is a bit creepy, and I'm worried that someone thinks I'm available when I'm just not interested in dating. You're my friend - if you know who sent these, please let him know I'm not interested in that sort of thing."

Unless he's dense, he'll get the hint.

Now, you say he's "watching all the time." I'm not sure what you mean by that. If you mean you look up at church and he's looking at you, that's one thing, but if he's sitting outside your house in his car at all hours, it's time to have the police tell him to move along, because that could be the start of stalking behavior.

Answer 3

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