Should I change my kids last name to my last name?

Question

Well here's the thing...

My ex did me really bad. I'm not with him anymore.

He says he doesn't care about the kids. (1year & 5months)

Should I change they're last name to mine so that they have someone to identify with.

My family is what they know. I feel like they may ask one day, "Why do we have a different last name?"

For me there is only one thing holding me back, that is the birth certificates say they're birth name.

Please help. Need oppinions.

Me and they're father were NEVER MARRIED.

Okay he has two other kids that are not mine. One he cheated and had while I was pregnant. I don't want them to be like, that's my brother and thats my brother, they all have the same name!

I'm changing it!

Answer 1

If you have the birth father sign over rights to the kids and you legally change their names then you are issued new birth certificates with their corrected names.

If he truly does not want to be a part of your life then I would say yes do that and that way you all share the same last name!!

Answer 2

I would definitely change it. If a man says he doesn't love his children he doesn't deserve for those kids to have his last name or his last name to be carried on.

Don't worry about their birth certificates......I'm sure there is some way to get new birth certificates with their new last name. And there is definitely a way to remove his name from the birth certificate.

I just did some research but I live in TX and the rules may be different in your state...read this:

If a person is younger than 1 year, the last name can be changed through the amendment process. Once a person is older than 1, a court-ordered name change is required to change the last name. Please submit the certified copy of the entire court order legally changing the name of the registrant. There is a fee of $15 to file the legal name-change amendment and an additional fee of $22 for a certified copy of the birth certificate once the change has been filed.

Answer 3

The kids are too young to know - the decision is yours. If you're more comfortable with them having your last name, then change it. It's not a crime. I don't think your kids will have to go to therapy if they have a "different last name"; it's not a significant thing. A much more serious question you will have to answer is "where's daddy", and they will ask that no matter what their last name is. The name is a very minor aspect of the whole situation, just do what you feel is right, don't over-think. If I was in this situation, I would want my kids to have my name; if the father cared enough to want the kids to have his, he would have married me. If we were not married, I would feel I was primarily responsible for the kids, hence they would have my name.

Answer 4

While as a mother of two myself i feel it would be easier for you
to have the same last name as your kids, right now they will
grow up one day and start to ask questions , about their father
and when you tell them they will want to know why they don't
have the same last name that he has and why you did what you
did and though you will have told them , it wont matter especially
if their father decide to return to their life later on .................On
the other hand if you let them keep the name and when they
get older he still wants nothing to do with them you tell them about him and the type of person he is and that though they are from him they are not him they are individual men of their own and you just keep on loving them until the day you die ........And then there's the chance that you will get married one
day and your new husband will adopt them and make all your life better.

Answer 5

First off, you can still change their names on the birth certificate until they are age 2, I believe. Second, yes I would change their last names. Of course you will eventually have "those conversations" about their real father, but having the same last name as yours might make things smoother in the short term.

Answer 6

I had the same problem when I was little. My parents got divorced when I was a baby and then my Mom got remarried when I was 4. She didn't change my name and its been interesting. My Mom wanted to change my name when she got divorced, but at the time it was looked down upon more to have a baby out of wedlock and my family thought that is what people would think.

To change their name, you will have to go to a judge.

Answer 7

You can change their names, but you can never change who their father is. At the very least, I would leave that decision up to the child when he/she gets old enough to understand.

Even though their father isn't worth his weight in salt, he is still their father. He was good enough for you to bare children with. Don't take everything that is their father away from them. Leave their names.

Answer 8

You would have to go through the courts to change their last names. I think you should leave it the same as it is. They might ask later on, but at least he wanted to sign their birth certificates. There are few kids that can say that at least my daddy gave me his last name.

Answer 9

Their birth name isnt an issue. My brother changed his daughters last name to his and she was like 6. If it were me, and you know this guy is going to walk, I would change it while its still early. You would hate to do it later after they already knew their names. I dont know how it works out with child support though. I would suggest getting him to sign over his rights and then apply for welfare. I know it doesnt sound classy. but heres the catch. He will have to pay it back to the state. You will still get the support you need and let that scumsucker walk. Good luck!

Answer 10

i think the kids would like to know whos their father when they grow a little bit but if think its ok to change their last name to yours since you arethe mom and the dad at the same time then i think its a good idea