two weeks for marriage...i find we are not compatible.she is too stubborn to even explain small things..?

Question

she thinks i am not giving adequate respect to her parents ,she is so hung up and touch on the idea that no kind of efforts work,i tried reasongin,explaning everything i can..still nothing...she picks up a fight over silly things and after a few hours of c0old war tell me its cause she misses me too much...i am gettin tired of all this fighting..its affecting my work ..and mor important my relationship with her ....please help

Answer 1

Welcome to the first pangs of marriage. You have a long way to go. I remember how hard it was. Now we are 17yrs. very happily married. Hang in there, it will get better.

Answer 2

It could be pre-marital stress (for both of you). But you need to be sure before you make those vows. Talk with the Priest or Pastor that will perform the ceremony. If you can't or don't want to include the Priest/Pastor try to see a counselor. You can always delay the ceremony...It may be difficult, and inconvenient to parents, and guests. Maybe you will even loose some deposits, but divorce is worse. The way you describe it, your marriage is getting off on the wrong foot.

Answer 3

At least you are thinking about these things before getting married.

At this point you only have two choices, either put up with it or don't get married. I wouldn't put up with it, it's not going to get better only worse over time. You will be in the same position in a few years only you will have kids by then and be trapped. Some people are just not made for each other, that is why you should date for 1.5-2 years before getting engaged. Now is the right time to end it.

Answer 4

You two need to communicate more. Talking isn't necessarily communicating. It also involves listening. There seem to be many issues here. A suggestion could be to start having each person write down what their perceived issues are. Sometimes just thinking through them and writing them down forces a person to look at what they believe the root cause is. Then share the lists with each other. The problem in many arguements is that people can't drive down to what the ultimate trigger or root cause is.

Answer 5

After checking out your answers to a few other questions... Perhaps you aren't very respectful, especially to women in general.

My original answer for your question was:
It sounds to me like she's afraid of something. Have you talked to her Mom? Or maybe her best friend? Talk to these women, it's probable that she's told them her fears or talked about the fights herself.
If not, her Mom or friend might be sympathetic to you (especially if you present your troubles as if you're wanting to make her happy first and formost above yourself) and try to get her to talk about it to them so that they can help you.
There could be a lot of reasons for this.

However, I'm thinking now that it just may not apply. Perhaps she should run for cover and have the whole thing annulled before it's too late.

Answer 6

Sorry sit down and talk about what u feel before jumping in.It is two weeks and alot of hassles re there.It is quick to stop an unhealthy relationship than a marriage.You have come so far so do not regret and try to work it out!If necessity refrain from reasoning and make her feel what you want.It is not easy arranging a marriage and it is really bad when it is stopped!Alot of answers will be hidden pushing the blame to your wife ans so so to be and i hope you will understand my point of view!Emotionally u feel bad but technically is it worth a marriage to be destroyed?

Answer 7

i think that our objective in arguments is for the other person to see our side of things, and then to agree with us... am i right?

i've given up on this approach, and i do try to listen to the other person's point of view, an i expect them to listen to mine. sometimes we need to come to a compromise, and find another solution... or else agree to disagree.

perhaps you could talk with your wife about this concept. maybe it would help in future debates over there....

i can't blame you for getting tired of the fighting. it can affect other areas of our lives, such as work.

i don't know what else i can do or say to help. sometimes people have tunnel vision and can't see anyone else's point of view. perhaps this is what your wife is doing?

i hope things work out... take care.

Answer 8

Hey Gaurav, seems like she needs more of ur attention.give it and make her feel secure..Ask her why she thinks u r not giving respect to her parents?...most of girls feel way u r saying when guy they love dont seem to care/attend to them more..try giving it...2 weeks for Indian wedding is too late to give second thot (ur name suggests so)... if this behaviour of her goes out of hand...all u can do is just keep her on fear mode saying u might think of leaving her if she continues to do so

Answer 9

Tell her how you feel....
So that you can make a decision on whether or not you want to keep putting up with this when you're married.

Answer 10

As much as it may be difficult... you should give her the heave-ho... do it as respectfully as you can, but it's better than a lifetime of misery.