My wife takes care of EVERYTHING in her family. So occasionally her grandma stays with us. Am I wrong to tell her I prefer her grandmother comes in on a Monday and leaves the following Sunday so I can have some alone time with her? She insists on keeping the grandmother until Monday, which means that our weekend is spent with my wife 'babysitting' her grandmother instead of me getting to enjoy a quiet weekend with my wife and baby. Why can't other siblings pitch in?
2007-04-24 04:11:19 · 30 answers · asked by miodragon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes!! What's the difference if she stays one more night!! And you said it's only occasionally!! You will have your wife a long time, but gramma may not be around that long!! You'll have plenty of time with your wife later, hopefully many long and happy years of time!! Indulge your wife in this!! She obviously loves her gramma very much!!
2007-04-24 04:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by Lori F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to sound like the spoiler here for everybody, but I say that your marriage and your immediate family (husband, wife, and kids) come first.
You mentioned that your wife has siblings.. yet she takes care of everything. This does not sound fair. She needs to sit down with all of her siblings and delegate some responsibility.
Also, does she have any living aunts and uncles.. and are her parents living? These are your grandmothers own children. They should bear the most responsibility.
Your wife is a good woman I'm sure, but I personally feel that her priorities are in the wrong place.
If everyone watches grandma from time to time, that is fine. But if your wife is the only one doing it, something has to change.
It is also not selfish of you to request one day out of this week to spend time with your wife and children. Your wife and your children are your priority, it is good that you desire to spend time with them.
Have a talk with your wife, and gently (while firmly) suggest that she delegate some responsibility to other members of the family.
2007-04-24 04:21:36 · answer #2 · answered by michaeljazz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound a bit like you are feeling neglected, like you come in second to her grandma. Yes it means you give up some alone time, but you also do that when you have a child.
Love the fact that your wife loves her grandma so much, it shows she has respect for family and this will spill over onto you and your family. This isn't about the other siblings, its about how your wife feels and what she thinks of as her responsibility within her family. Support her instead of fighting her on this and you will win enormous brownie points with her.
Making someone you love happy at a modest cost to you is more lasting than a quiet weekend. She will remember it and it will color her thinking about you and your generosity of spirit for years to come.
2007-04-24 04:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You said it's occasionally. So what's the problem?
Someone said your marriage comes first. It seems like you're thinking more of yourself than what your WIFE wants here.
I'm saying this all from the point of view from a woman who was the one who took care of her grandparents. I spent as much time as possible with them, going to their home everyday, taking my child with me AND my ex.
My ex may have not been the best guy in the world and we can't even have a conversation now, but I will ALWAYS respect that he didn't ever give me flack about spending time with my family. If he had, he'd have been alone much much faster.
Maybe if you keep having a problem with your wife spending time with her grandma, you'll get that alone time, but it really WILL be 'alone'.
2007-04-24 04:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are weekends where it's just you and your little family that rare for you? If they are, then I can understand you wanting at least one day alone with them.. if not, then what's one more day? Is Grandma that bad? I mean is she in diapers and has to be fed with a spoon? or could she maybe watch the baby for a couple hours while you and wifey go out to dinner and a movie? If Grandma's capable of that, i can guarentee you that she'd be thrilled to be "needed" that way and if you make Grandma happy... wifey won't forget before bedtime!
2007-04-24 04:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by realpaganwoman13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong because your wife's grandma is old and she just wants to spend time with her grandchild and her great great child and you as a family so let her. You can still enjoy the weekend with her around. Why don't you have a picnic on a nice sunny day? Other siblings don't pitch in because they don't understand how lonely she gets and just how lucky they are to still have their grandmother around.
2007-04-24 04:18:11 · answer #6 · answered by Melanie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not wrong. If she devotes her whole week to her grandmother, she can certainly take one day for you and the child. It wouldn't kill her. You two should be the most important things in her life. She needs to realize that most men wouldn't allow her to have her grandmother for one night. She married to you and committed to you. If she insists, then take your child away for the weekend somewhere and you two enjoy some family time together.
2007-04-24 04:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can be like everyone else and say whats another day, but Im guessing this happens a heck of a lot!
You probably are at ur wits end with giving in to just another day. First, dont tell her she has to do something. Second, y cant the grandma take care of herself if say u took her to lunch or dinner? compromise
2007-04-24 04:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by TLC25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what the big difference is of 1 day, since she doesn't visit very often. As for other siblings pitching in, you need to talk to them and see why they are not helping.
2007-04-24 04:28:14 · answer #9 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it's wrong to want to spend time with your wife and baby. Just tell you wife how you feel and let her know that you want to spend just time with her. I dont see it as being unreasonable, it's just one day short. Like I said, just talk to her about it, maybe she'll understand that you are saying. As a female, you get two thumbs up from me. Good Luck
2007-04-24 04:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋