We are good friends now, it's just that I've never been on my own , I'm anxious and a little excited...I should be right??
2007-04-24 04:04:36 · 21 answers · asked by tuliosgurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All normal feelings, you sound like a carbon copy of myself. However, just find yourself a good support system, be it a mother, friend, aunt, etc. You need to know you will be ok and happy again. Good luck to you! And P.S. this happened for me a few years ago and I've never been happier.
2007-04-24 04:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have never been on your own, the sudden feeling of not having someone there can be overwhelming. I was maried for 8 years, and the change back to singlehood was quite a shock.
Why should you not be happy? If you were to say you had no desire to be happy, I would tell you to seek counseling, but I don't get that vibe from you.
It is normal to feel anxious, excited, nervous, and full of self-doubt. You had ben married most of your adult life, and getting back into the dating scene can be scary.
The rub is this: If you do not actively seek to make your life move forward, you will be stuck in a rut. It is up to YOU to move your life ahead. Whatever choices you make for your life will impact where you go and how fast you travel.
Try new things. Things that you had always wanted to try, but didn't have time for while you were married. Hang out with friends. See your family more often.
I am NOT saying you have to jump into the dating scene. From the sounds of it, the divorce is not finalized, and you need to complete one step before moving onto another. I AM saying to either get busy living or get busy dying. That is your choice.
Good luck.
2007-04-24 11:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really good that you and your ex can still remain friends. Try to be careful when dating. Since you were in the "security" of marriage, it is easy to hook up with another companion and sort of bond with him quickly. Try to have a little "single" fun. Enjoy a few years before you decide to settle down again and make a committment of marriage. Don't be anxious, enjoy life. Go out with the girls! You are still young and have alot of years ahead of you! Good luck woman!
2007-04-24 11:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by luv2love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll be fine. Just make sure you spend lots of time with your friends. If you start getting lonely, try getting some plants or fish or a cat/dog.
Living by yourself is fun. You get to set the rules and do as you will. Everything in the fridge is food you like. The TV can be tuned to any channel you choose.
Good luck and enjoy.
2007-04-24 11:09:51 · answer #4 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's scary to go back out into the world a single person. I was so scared. I devoted my life to my kids until I started getting to know people on the internet. I found alot of people who just sent a word of encouragement my way. I also found alot of men that were totally different from my Ex. My job helped me remember I can do it alone. My friends made being alone easier. my kids smile made me believe i made the right choice. After awhile it got better. I started to notice my change in clothes and in me. I actually laughed more and there was a smile in le eyes and voice that attracted others. Be strong and don't be afraid to meet new people. I know it's too soon to consider dating. A year after me and my Ex split I met my Husband on the internet. He's everything I was waiting for and needed in my life. Not someone to take care of me but someone to help me. I loved my independence though. So after you get used to yours, cherish it.
2007-04-24 12:02:42 · answer #5 · answered by blue_dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should and will be many many things during this time in your life.
7 years is a long time and although you are on good terms there may be times of happiness, saddness, euphoria, lonliness but through it all if you are doing what is truly in your best interest then you will prevail!!
Good luck!
2007-04-24 11:18:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still legally tied to him even though you are separated. Not sure why you didn't get a divorce instead... But yes, in general when you have problems in a relationship and you go your separate ways, you should be happier.
2007-04-24 11:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi.... it doesn't hurt to get in touch with our own feelings. your feelings aren't wrong, and no one else knows what you feel.
it's difficult getting separated and divorced, and i'm sure you have mixed feelings. you probably DO feel anxious, and a little excited. you might be experiencing loss and sadness, as well.
perhaps you could sit down and write your feelings on paper.
take CONTROL of your own feelings.
it's perfectly normal to OWN our feelings. everyone has them... and they are diverse.
take care of you.
2007-04-24 11:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's great that your marriage is ending on such good terms, that's really rare. that's completely normal to be anxious and excited, this is a major turning point in your life. best of luck to you!
2007-04-24 11:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have kids?I'm married for 7 years now, but I have two little ones and can't imagine myself separating or anything like this, I think it's just gets better if we both don't get too stubborn.
2007-04-24 11:10:05 · answer #10 · answered by happydial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋