shes got a massive blackish/gray.blue bruise on her cheek and her arms in plaster.i asked what she did and she said that scott did it,but it was an accident.scott is her boyfriend of 3 years(scott is 31 and my friend-lets call her grace*not her real name* is 19.)scotts a pal of mine too.hes never been violent to her in the past or any girlfriends that i know of.she said it was an accident,that they just got caught up in the moment.but WHAT moment?i am asking myself.should i keep an eye on them?if theres anymore bruising then i shall be contacting the police.even if she does not press charges and i lose her friendship for good.or should i just keep an eye on them but keep out of it?
2007-04-24 00:46:42 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
just be there as a friend, so if she needs to talk she will,its an awkward place to be, saying too much might loose your friendship so hold tight and keep an eye open for her and just be there for her. good luck.
2007-04-24 00:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by mamgu....... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately keep a very close eye on them....Accidents do happen, but like you said "what accident would cause major bruising on her cheek and her arm to be in a plaster? Try and talk to her a bit more to find out what on earth were they doing that caused this accident'?
Be there for her as a great friend and definately Keep a close watch on her and this fellow she's seeing. It may be 'nothing'..and was really just some accident...but if it's the starting of abuse......you will be able to tell by her demeaner when she's around him...if she's being 'controlled' in any way*
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2007-04-24 00:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF he is hitting her it will do no good to contact the police. They can not do anything unless she agrees to press charges.
Obviously if you actually see him hitting her you should step in to help her though, or call the police if you can not handle him.
The best thing is for you to be there for her if and when she decides to tell you what is going on. Then you can advise her. If you contact the police she might lose you, and then who would she turn to when she is ready to admit the truth and needs help to get away from him.
It might have been an accident, so don't jump to conclusions too soon. Just keep an eye on her, and if it happens again try to broach the subject with her.
Good luck
2007-04-24 00:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Copper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've encountered this situation many times and I can tell you firsthand that you can only get so involved. You can advise till you're blue in the face about what she should and shouldn't do, and the majority of the time, the woman is so afraid of her bf or husbands retribution, that she backs out of any legal action taken against him. She is in a literal trap. One she has been conditioned to feel she will always be in. She has been systematically isolated from everyone in her life and told countless times how worthless and unloved she is and that she will die if she leaves him. She is his prisoner and unless someone physically goes in and takes her away from this situation, she will remain until she dies or kills him. I have seen this so many times in my life...I've lost friends, sleep, you name it. Everyone has this idea that women who are abused just need to make a simple choice and her torture ends..not so. She feels tremendous guilt, the abuser convinces her that she's the one to blame for his behavior. So when the cops show up, she end up screaming at the cops to leave her abuser alone.....its sick. and its NOT HER FAULT. You can't get involved because if you meddle, not only do you risk more injury to her because he'll try to get back at her for changing her situation, he could turn on you also. She will pick him over you every single time, guaranteed. She needs to be re-programmed literally....she has no self esteem left. Call your local woman's shelter and ask to speak to someone who can help her...thats the best thing you can do.
2007-04-24 01:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by usmcmama826 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a sticky situation as you are friends with both of them and from what it sounds like scott more.
The question is do you want to get involed. If the girl did have a plaster she would have been to hospital and they would of had a chat with her aas they are trained in this
However there seems to be alot of loyalty with her and scott and if she wanted to leave because of this she would have the chance. There are places you and her can go
ie you could contact crime stoppers and ask there advice as they dont ask who you are and also there are websites with numbers for women who have been beaten by there partners. If you dont want to step on any toes there are ways around it without your relationship with either to be affected.
good luck i hope it all goes well
just to point out if it was me I would have asked her more questions to get it out of her and then contact the police as wife, husband or child beating is one of the lowest things a human can do
2007-04-24 00:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by alismudge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Keep and eye on them and try to get her to
open up. This man is years older than her and should know better. Has she got family that you could talk to? Or a family
member that you can trust to help her in this situation. She may be so scared of him she is frightened to speak out.
You could tell him that if ever you find out he has touched a
hair on her body you will be going to the police.
I don't like the sound of him though - so be careful.
2007-04-25 00:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id tell Scott your keeping a eye on your friend and if you see any more bruises your phoning the police, you would never forgive your self if some thing happened to this girl
2007-04-24 00:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask her for more details then you'll be in a better position to judge the situation. However usually things only get worse so if you suspect it really wasn't an accident try and get her to speak to experts about this.
2007-04-24 00:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your friend so you should trust her to tell you when she's ready (if there is anything else to tell). Be there for her to give her support...she nees to make the call about the police if she thinks she needs to. Until then just carry on being a good friend.
2007-04-24 00:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, watch out for her. A person can be one way in public but once the door closes, a completely different way. Watch out for her and notice if she's wearing long shirts if she always wears short. If she's withdrawn, depressed.
2007-04-24 00:51:11 · answer #10 · answered by Amy L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋