I am 36 and my hubby is 36+. My husband knew about my emotional affair with my classmate when he found my unsent letter to him. It was nothing more.By the time we(me and my hubby) were seperate and i had been in email contact with my classmate( who really loved me but didn't tell me so during our college days). I came to know how deeply he loved me at that time. As my husband proved to be worse than the loser my parents thought him to be, I began to wonder what life would be in such a hell. Now he is broke and is doing some job. He never gave me any respect, so I didn't give a damn about him. This letter has really shattered him in more than one way. He feels sorry for having caused me such pain and again says he didn't plan my classmates' visit or our spending some time in a resort( No sex, I swear). He plans about our future but his face is a mixed-up. We are seeing counsellor now but i am afraid whether he would ever treat me with love and respect I couldn't get in the past
2007-04-24 00:45:06 · 11 answers · asked by venus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He sometimes says he is just staying for the kids.
2007-04-24 00:45:41 · update #1
My classmate is happily married and he broke off this contact and i also didn't feel like reviving it. Now this fact pains my hubby even more that i chose him over my classmate then but am ready to be his mistress now. Will he stop this later as he seems to have learnt his lesson? I love him now though felt really bad when we seperated.
2007-04-24 01:43:46 · update #2
You start with wanting forgiveness, then go to how bad a husband he is, then on to considering your plans for a future with him. It sounds like you're still very unsure about what you want, much less what he wants or can offer.
Please practice the following question. "What would I like to have happen here?" A good counsellor will help you explore this more fully. Be careful, though, to stay away from counsellors with their own agendas, such as most conservative clergy who may want you to save the marriage at all costs.
2007-04-24 01:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Scott H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good that things are out in the open. You did nothing wrong, but your husband DID need to know how you were feeling. So, he found out the hard way. It would have been better if you had talked to him. But he probably wouldn't have listened....That letter he found made him listen and see the problems.....Counseling should help you....You marriage can be helped and you only need to now be open to him and be true to yourself about your feelings.....try, it can't hurt...Good luck to you both......And tell him to quit being such a jerk.....If all else fails, what do you lose......A man? There are lots of others out there...but your not free to do anything while your married...Of course, don't cheat.....but if there are no solutions and compromises on either part of your marriage....Let it go, and be happy......
2007-04-24 07:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by Your Asking Me? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's over. You should be investing your energies in a relationship with a future, rather than trying to squeeze a few more days of misery out of this one.
The college friend is not the cause of this, he is merely an example of how life could have been with different choices. If you feel that there is something there, then investigate the possibility, but keep in mind that he is just one of many possibilities.
2007-04-24 08:22:06 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is everything in a marriage without trust you have nothing....If your husband does not trust you then you are wasting your time.If your husband said that he is only staying because of the kid's(which by the way is the wrong reason to stay)then it sound's like your husband has already decided that he can't trust you and he has given up on the marriage..
2007-04-24 07:51:39 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still trying to do something for u, it means he still loves you. his behaviour may not neccessarily change but onething that you should never forget, if u re-unite then never try to be in contact with your classmate and never take his name infront of your husband. Try to tell ur husband your situation now, if you want to go back to him then you should promise him that you will never repeat such things.
2007-04-24 08:09:22 · answer #5 · answered by Yasir Saeed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mention that he turned out to be "worse than the loser your parents thought he'd be" and that you are afraid that he will never treat you with the lofe and respect you could "never get in the past".
You have answered your own questions.
2007-04-24 08:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you afraid to the fact that he cant give you love and respect? or are you afraid that you stll love him? Do you still love him? If you do, then start talking with your heart, and try the best to win his respect and love back,though its not that easy (easy said than done i know) but if you dont love him then get on with your life, and hope that he will forgive you for being unfaithful emotionally, but move on because you will not be happy with him anymore if you lost your love for him.
2007-04-24 08:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by laura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mom and dad staid together because of us and they are the most miserable couple ever
it seems like you are quite unhappy with your husband and from my experience,men can forgive but never forget, if the kids the only thing that makes you stay together then you are doing harm to them more the harm that will happen in case you separated from him
2007-04-24 07:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by eve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't even support the kids so what exactly is he doing for them? Sorry, but if a man cannot support his own kids, he needs to be thrown out that door.
2007-04-24 07:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
women lik eyou should be hanged. You are the ones who spoil the social fabric of society. I really suggest you go to hell
2007-04-24 08:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by mailforkul 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋