Is this a put down or am I going crazy?

Question

I have been up two nights, feeding the orphan kitten. My hubby has been helping me, alright - he is much better at feeding the little wee thing. This morning I could not manage to feed the kitten at all, so I asked him to help (I was probably too exhausted) and he agreed. By that stage I was crying cause it was sad to watch the kitty in agony and I said "I can't do this anymore". I was sitting with a screaming kitty for 10 minutes and had to shout to call him down. He fell asleep as it turns out. Then he comes down all grumpy with an air of superiority, would not let me him him. Then he says "if you can't do this, how are you going to have a child". Now, my husband confessed a month ago, that he did not want me to get preganant as he was not sure of our relationship. I know. Is he a nasty piece of work or am I too sensitive and going crazy?

it's impossible to get anything out of my husband - he takes almost everything I say as a personal attack. at the same time, his is the one that insults me calling me "argumentative", "nasty", "no fun", "angry".

Do you seriously think that one has the right to judge you and point out that you have no chance of being a good mom in future?!?

Answer 1

You're being too sensitive.

Your husband has a good mind to 'judge' you in this experience and at least is looking ahead.

But, you two should try marriage counseling of some sort to make sure. You don't want to be assuming things of each other that aren't true - give each other the opportunity to speak your minds and make sure the other person understands where you're coming from.

Answer 2

Something more is happening in your marriage than just the issue with the kitten. You need to look and see what is going on so you two can sort it all out.

You husband was rather blunt about not having children right now and although it may have been harsh, he was at least truthful.

Babies are much more demanding than a little kitten and end up taking up a good part of your life especially in the beginning until a child gets on a schedule.

You need to be patient with the kitten as the kitten feels your anxiety. If the mother of the kitten was around, she would be conforting the kitten and relax for her baby. It's the same when you have a child, if you show anxiety the baby feels it!

I would suggest you call the vet and make an appointment for the kitten and get some advise on your own to care for this kitten.

Answer 3

How long were to guys together before getting married?

If he's already said that he is unsure of your relationship and pregnancy is out of the question, then maybe you need to analyze where the differences are between you two, and if there are any goals left.
It appears that both of you do personally attack each other, so the question is, why? Are there some other issues from the past that haven't been resolved? Are you both holding some anger towards the other for reasons only you know?

Taking care of a kitten is not difficult. To add substance to it's diet, start putting baby pablum in it's milk. It will thicken the milk and the cat will feel more full than just milk alone. Then you can start feeding it moist cat food from a can. Cat's adapt very well on their own. Just don't stress out over it.

Answer 4

I wouldn't say He's the nasty piece of work.....I think you both are too tired feeding this orphan kitten........Why is this kitty in agony??
If your husband told you a month ago he's not sure about your relationship.....and that he doesn't want you to have children as he feels you can't even take care of a kitten....I suggest you two sit down and talk....It doesn't sound like you're on solid ground with each other. There's more to this ...than meets the eye. No one wants to give up on their marriage over feeding or not feeding a kitten. There's more to this . You need to buckle up and sit down with your husband and ask him what you both can do to resolve this issue and start putting more time and effort into your marriage. If this kitten is too much for you....take it to the humane society to be adopted out by another family that won't be getting so frustrated over a wee lil kitty .....Best WIshes*

Answer 5

I dont think anyone has the right to be nasty to another person. You may be overly sensitive, but that could because of hearing bad things about yourself on a regular basis. You cant judge a womans mothering abilities based on a cat, if that were the case I should have never had children. Being a mother takes a lot of work, a lot of up all nights, A LOT of frustration over trying to do everything just right. If you think he is nasty to you and you arent happy dont have a child until you both can work through these issues. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Well it sounds as if the little kitten needs plenty TLC, and constant feeding, which is what new Born's need as well. BUT that said and done, if you guys have problems in your marriage, the old saying A baby does not always make it right is just that. One should never have a baby to "save" a relationship. Before you do something like that, the both of you should seek counseling. I wish you all the best.

Answer 8

1. You couldn't feed the kitten because you were exhausted? Crying over feeding the kitten seems a tiny bit extreme. Do you have a lot of anxiety? Seems like there might be something else going on here.
2. Your husband's comment was insensitive unless you have been really pushing him to have a child together and he doesn't agree.
3. It's good that he made the confession before you guys decided to have kids. I'd listen to him and WAIT.

Answer 9

This comment? It sounds like he was right. Babies are much more difficult to handle and if you can cry over an upset kitten, just imagine what you'll be like when you're all hormonal and it's your own child that is screaming!

As for his other comments, I'm not sure. Maybe marriage counselling if you can't work this out amongst yourselves.

Answer 10

A husband that isn't sure of his relationship with you presents an impossible marital situation for anything, much less having a child. How long have you two been together anyway? I'd move out and move on.