A friend of mine had her son taken away from her, when he was a few months old, about 8 yrs ago. She can't see him or get recent pics of him (He went to family on his dad's side). I just found a few pics of the baby and some with her and him together. It KILLS her to basically not have a son anymore. Do you think it would "hurt" her in a way if I were to send her the pictures?
2007-04-23 20:09:58 · 10 answers · asked by d4m4g3dj3nna 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Just to be clear, her son did not die, he was not kidnapped, or put into a foster home or anything. He was taken by the state and a family member of the dad has custody. So she knows where he is in a way. She knows who he's with and that he's taken care of. But she cannot have any contact with them. This was 8 years ago. And while it still kills her, she's "dealt with it" in a way. I know she saw a picture of the baby's 6th birthday and she didn't break down or anything.
I'm thinking MAYBE by seeing the pics, it'll help her still feel a little close to him.
Maybe I can just tell her (she's too far away for me to see her) I have them, and ask her if it would bother her???
2007-04-23 20:31:40 · update #1
The reason she lost her son was because of drugs. BUT she was not doing them. She ended up dating a guy (my cousin)who the baby's dad HATED. So he reported her b/c my cousin was staying at her house once in a while and the dad said my cousin was an addict and dealer. To be safe, she broke up with my cousin, but the dad didn't stop. He had pics that made it look like he was dealing, which he was not. The dad is a total ******. he did it as revenge. I was there for the whole thing and know it's true.
It's not that she's not allowed to have pictures, it's just that they (the dad and the ppl who have the baby)refuse to let her have or see any. She was 16/17 when she had the baby, and she was doing GREAT!
2007-04-23 20:52:50 · update #2
it would not be wrong.having a baby is the best thing that can happen to somebody, but having that baby taken away from you is the worst.her having a picture of her only child is not only going to make her happy but it will probably complete her in away.the only thing that would be wrong is you holding on to that picture and letting her suffer emotionally
2007-04-30 08:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her child was taken away from her then there's probably a bloody good reason why. The government is always reluctant to take kids away unless mental illness, mistreatment or drugs are involved. I can't help but think this is the case.
Chances are the father wants to protect the kid from her, I've known of cases where the missing parent continuously disrupts the kid's life and if the father is refusing to let her see him or have recent photographs then it really does make you wonder.
I say don't do it, there is a reason why she isn't allowed to have recent photographs of him. If you still think it'd be okay run it by the father and see what he thinks.
2007-04-23 20:37:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a bad idea. Sometimes it's just a little easier when it doesn't seem so tangible. It's not out of sight out of mind, but more so: out of sight, not as much pain. I guess though, if she has really thick skin, it would be alright.
I had an abortion some time ago now (I had no choice), but I wanted to at least keep the ultrasound picture and they wouldn't let me...I understand why now.
2007-04-23 20:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tracy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely!!! All a mother wants is to see their children if the y love them so much... but if they are just hard-headed... they will not like seeing those... If she was looking for the kid and trying to find ways to look for the baby, then you can show the picture to help her see the baby and maybe renew her vigor in looking for the child.
Hope that helps. nothing wrong in your intention, but see how she would see it... she is a friend of yours of course.
2007-04-23 20:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by DEADPOOL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bring it up as something casual, and ask how she would feel about having some pictures of him. Don't do it as you have it, just do it as an inquiry. Her response should give you an idea of what you should do.
Don't only pay attention to her words, but her body language, see how she reacts when she talks about it. You do not want to do something that may end up hurting her, or causing her more grief.
2007-04-23 20:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by JonEli 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. She's hurting without them so it can be made worse so to speak...People tend to like these pics and a mom like that would take all she could get.
2007-04-23 20:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by okstatecowboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignorance is bliss. She won't know what she missed out on if you don't mention it. If you show her you'll open up painful memories that she probably doesn't want to revisit.
2007-04-23 20:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Katie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's best to simply let well enough alone and stay out of it. Lend her an ear, if needed, but other than that it's best to butt out.
2007-04-23 20:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it might be good for her.
2007-04-23 20:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by Moonlight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2007-04-23 20:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by browneyes7c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋