I am calling it quits with my husband and I! Tonight he went to a hotel but I just need to focus on me than him and I can't seem to love him like he loves me what's the matter we have been together for 12 yrs off/on and married for 4. Why do I feel like this
2007-04-23 19:45:10 · 9 answers · asked by vetski1976 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Relationships take plenty of work. Evidently one or both of you have been neglecting your work. You made a commitment to him 4 years ago. Why did you marry him if you did not love him as you should? Maybe you should have helped him to understand what you need from him.
I say 12 years is a long time to invest in a relationship, then give up. Why don't you try some counseling before calling it quits?
I would hate for you to think that there are all these wonderful men out there just waiting to treat you like gold. Take it from me, 95% of them just want to get into your pants, and will tell you anything you want to hear to get it. Don't be fooled, if you have a good on hold on to him. It's a bitc* trying to weed through the jerks to find a nice one.
There will always be lulls in a marriage. Times when you even hate him for a moment. Maybe you need to think back to why you fell in love with him in the beginning, and try to recapture some of that romance.
Good Luck with your decision!!
2007-04-23 20:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, this is a common problem in relationships. To anticipate that both partners will remain deeply in love, and to the same degree is just setting yourself up for disappointment.
If you can honestly say that you don't love him as much as he loves you, then you are doing him no favors by staying together. Everyone deserves to be loved completely. By staying together, you are denying him the ability to find someone who will truly appreciate what he has to offer. You are also doing yourself a diservice by staying in an unhappy relationship. Life is SHORT.
People change and often grow apart. It is a sad fact of life. Just be certain that when you call it quits, you are not going to come running back in a month. The grass always looks greener on the other side, and dating has its own complications.
Best of luck to you both.
2007-04-24 03:50:20 · answer #2 · answered by NYTEVIOLET 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone gets stressed out sometimes..
Do you have children together or maybe financial issues?
Do you guys say mean things to eachother a lot when youre fighting or say things you dont mean?
Over a span of 12 years of fighting and bickering and stress and good times and bad times.. you both might feel like youre in a bind and you need a little break
You really do love your husband, you have to admit it
even if youre mad at him for one reason or another
People fall out and back into love over the course of their
lifetimes.. this might be one of your "out of love" moments
If you really think that you want to live life without your
husband by your side then good for you, go for it
But take into consideration all the nice things he's ever
done for you.. all the romantic nights.. all of the love letters
or little looks he gives you that make you feel warm and
fuzzy inside
If you try to focus on the GOOD aspects of your relationship
then you'll be on the right track to falling in love with him
again.
I wish you all the best of luck ;)
2007-04-24 02:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by Starlight*Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...there is obviously a lot I don't know, but if you are married at one time you promised to love him "until death do you part." When you say that you need to focus on "me" what about focusing on "us?" Think back about how it felt when you first fell in love with your husband. Relationships are not easy and take work. I think that when people are married they should definately try to work through the tough times. You might need a Counselor to help find out why you feel like you do. There are likely other issues going on. Good luck to you.
2007-04-24 03:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by C's mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can we compare love? We cant we dont know if somebody loves us more or less.
During a relationship you just have to hope that both of you dont fall out of love the same time!
2007-04-24 04:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no limits to love when your married. You both should love each other equally. No more, no less. Too much drama in your marriage, why don't you both grow up, sit down, talk about it & work it out like grown adults.
2007-04-24 02:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not enuf details but maybe it isnt a big deal. or maybe you lost your mo-joe. or maybe there is somthing you are avoiding aBOUT HIM And it is bothering you and it is coming out in your actions towards him creating a distance in your relationship. Or maybe you have lost yourself and need to find yourself, I mean who you are without him and satisfy that essential part of you. Women and men lose focus on that part of ones self and then it seems like it is the other person they are losing. anyways good luck.
2007-04-24 03:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to stop comparing to see whos better at it.Maybe you need to ask yourself if you really know what love is? a LIttle helpful suggestion might be do you love him as much as you love yourself. GL
2007-04-24 02:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still love him don't you? Just tell him you need your space and if he doesn't like it...leave!
2007-04-24 02:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by just a guy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋