Should I let my kindergardener attend kindergarden graduation if she is going to be held back?

Question

Recently I learned that my daughter will need to repeat kindergarten. I understand and agree with the teacher's decision but I still feel kind-of sad about it. My daughter is not as advanced as the other children in her class and is not as mature. Her birthday is in the summer and she won't turn 6 until school is out. I just received a flyer from school that says Graduation will be May 25th and I need to tell them how many people will be going. Her teacher is fine with my daughter going even though she will be repeating kindergarden next year. I am torn. I am not sure if I want her to go to the graduation. Is that mean? I feel that if she is not graduating that she shouldn't go through the ceremony. Then after she succeeds in completing kindergarten next year, graduation will mean something. Am I being mean? Is that selfish? I also don't want to invite family and friends to the graduation that really isn't. Please help? What should I do?

Answer 1

She is probably practicing or soon will be for graduation ceremony.Her class will be learning the songs they will sing for graduation and imagine how left out she will feel if she will not participate afterwords.The teacher is right let her graduate with her class and hold off on the celebration till next year.

Answer 2

If I were you, I wouldn't let her go if she's going to be held back. She probably made friends and would just feel embarrassed to be the only one not going to graduate. Repeating a grade isn't all that bad if they are home schooled, cause they don't make any friends. Putting them through more than once is a good thing. You can put them in early so they can have a head start in the education. As they get older and do the grade over again they may understand more things toward it. Anyway. If I were you I wouldn't do it, that may be mean. But let her stay in touch with all her friends that are moving up!! And the next year in the graduation she may say "I think i've been to one of these before!!" It won't be the same as if it were the first time and actually graduating.

Answer 3

I say do not to go to the graduation. I do not remember my kindergarten graduation much. I was up there shaking hands and not knowing what the meaning of this was and why my teacher was smiling SO HARD.

If she goes..what are the kids going to think next year when they don't see her in their class? She isn't progressing with them I think it could be a source of embarrassment later on. Chances are there is someone who will remember her and ask why she isn't in that class with them (maybe in 1 or 2 years). I think that's sorta awkward.

I know that when I was in grade three, there was a kid who failed a grade and had to repeat it (2 years before) and a few people remembered from the 4th grade and brought it up soo many times it was so sad. He was very embarrassed.

In my schools (elementary and high school) we had people there who were living with downsyndrome and other genetic problems. They usually went to the graduation each year for a total of about 5 or 6 years in high school it depends. Now that I'm older I think it's because they formed relationships with the graduates and they wanted to cheer their friends and say goodbye-- even though they weren't graduating. But they went because they understood what it meant.

Does she realize that she is supposed to be graduating? If not then forget it. Chances are she soon will because they sometimes do the rehersals during school time.
That could be the reason for the polite invitation. Also, if you decide to go, you should ask if there will be any special distinction for her or not like will it be announced that she is repeating kindergarten, will she wear a different gown, cap etc. (the people who didn't graduate wore the same gown but no hat in kindergarten) what's the procedure? But perhaps she could learn a lesson from this. I don't want to be unkind but..

I say don't go. If it were me, I would want her to understand that she missed something. Don't give her the idea that graduation comes easy and everyone always passes no matter what. I know soooo many people who thought that way and they are having many rude awakenings now..

Answer 4

Personally I think your K teacher is the insensitive one. Your daughter is NOT graduating,so why would you even think of inviting guests to a graduation ceremony, let alone allowing her to attend.

Even at 5 kids have some dignity and I'm sure there'll be some nasty little kid who will say you're not graduating and make her feel worse.

Holding back your daughter at this age isn't going to be a psychological blow , I was five and a half when I started K and now have two university degrees. Frankly that extra few months and repetition of the material will do her good.

Take her somewhere else on graduation day, and tell her she'll graduate next year.

Answer 5

I have children the same age as your daughter. She isn't really going to understand the meaning of graduation right now.
Personally, I would still let her participate. It's a celebration and she will have fun. You can celebrate her one year of learning and meeting new friends.
In some ways, she still graduated. She learned new things this year and even though she needs to repeat it again, she still achieved something.
As far as inviting family and friends, if you are not comfortable doing it, then don't do it. Invite them to next year's graduation. You can still go with your daughter and have a fun time.
Good luck!

Answer 6

If it were my daughter, I would not have her walk. It would be confusing to her to not get to move up when, in her eyes, she did everything the others did. I would plan a very special night out, or afternoon, or when ever the ceremony is. Take her to Chuckie Cheeze's or some other fun thing to celebrate the end of the year. Let her know she is so very special to you, but as I said, I would not confuse her with a ceremony that is not for her.

Answer 7

I don't understand why this is even difficult. She did not pass kindergarten, so she is not graduating, so she should not attend graduation. It's not being "mean" at all, it's being realistic. The earlier she learns about real life and how rewards come AFTER work, the better off she'll be.

Answer 8

if i was you i wouldnt hold her back. its your finally say in the matter and kindergarden is no more then social skills, cutting paper,singing songs and taking naps. 1st grade is where it counts. my teacher suggested holding me back and my mother disapproved and moved me forward. i eventually skipped 1st grade after attending for about a month. just take the summer to get her up to par and you will be very happy with choice you have made. if not youll be hearing about it the rest of your life. about i should be graduating this year, what would my life be like if i started my life one year earlier after graduation. if you dont take my advise dont let her attend. let her forget about it and enjoy her summer and make new friends that will be in her class for that year. its the last thing you want is her friends in that class making fun of her in the following year. kids can be mean. good luck, i hope for the best

Answer 9

Does your daughter understand that she will be repeating her grade again, and that this will mean nothing? Ask her what she wants to do, basically. I don't see how it can really hurt, as long as she understands that she won't be moving on with her peers.

I'd just leave it up to her.

Answer 10

No, you're right.

Graduation is a ceremony of achievement. What has she achieved? It will actually mean something to her, as well as give her a goal, if she can't attend unless she actually graduates.

Hope this helps!