i have a narcissistic wife. i'm no professional but i've read up on everything and she fits borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies. she's been through guys like water and i'm the only one she married. she came on strong....sex every day. now it's like give me this and this or i'll leave. it's like i got trapped and she says the meanest things and i'm a pretty tough skinned guy. I can't take the words from the woman i thought loved me. her mother is the same way. they think it's normal to say what you want and forget about it. not only that, they lie and say they didn't say it. one time i taped her saying crap and she said how could i do it. i didn't have any way to convince her and she still denied it. how do you treat these people? i tried the hard approach and the easy approach and nothing works. any psychologists out there want to help me out?
2007-04-23 16:19:20 · 9 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't convince them of anything, they are always right. My ex is one and believe it was hell. He was the one who had all the answers and if I dared questioned it I didn't love him and was trying to do him like the other women in his life. He blamed everyone but himself for his problems. They can't be alone so that is why they have so many different partners. They wil always turn it back on you. I quit trying and that is why we are not together anymore and of course now he tells everyone it was all my fault. I was his 4th wife.
2007-04-23 16:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant help, but I have a friend that sounds very much like her...she doesnt make threats but she lies ALL the time.
I have been friends with her for 18 years, its just something I have learned to live with. She's a great friend, always there, thinks about me, what she can do, help is hard situations, etc. But I dont think I could live with her as a life partner.
Unless she changes (which sadly isnt likely) you are going to be very misrable in this relationship.
Next time she says she's going to leave, let her. Just see what she does. She, for some reason, chose you to send the rest of her life with. Hopefully she will see the effects of her behavior, if not, you are really better off.
I dont normally seggest divorce, but she is noy just threatening the relationship, she is basicly inslaving you to her every whim.
2007-04-23 17:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like my ex GF, because she was exactly like this. I left the scene because of all of what you mentioned. Only smart thing I did was not get married. I read up on narcissism after we broke up, and realized that it was her to the tee. Bad thing is you're married, so won't give any solutions, because I've never been married. I know I couldn't handle a narcissistic person, because I'm the total opposite of a person with these traits. I'd have to agree with Greg above, leave and let her have another victim. You can not, and will not win with a narcissistic person.
MSN used to have a good narcissistic site a few years ago with lots of good information and people who deal with this issue, very, very good info out there
2007-04-23 16:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am not a psychologist but i know someone who has an ex that fits the characteristics also. things were great at first, he loved her very much but it didn't take long for her to start with the demands and lies and all else that goes along with it. in the end of the relationship he fit the characteristics of an emotionally and mentally battered spouse. he has now found someone to appreciate him for who he is and all he has to give. the ex is still bouncing from guy to guy, blaming everyone around her for her miserableness and trying to take advantage of every one who will stop to listen long enough.
2007-04-23 16:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by adelaide 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you both do not have any children that are living with this chaos.
Your wife needs psychological intervention. Unfortunately, this is her personality, & that it will forever be this way.
2007-04-23 16:36:36 · answer #5 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave them so they can find another victim.
2007-04-23 16:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her.
2007-04-23 20:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
shoot her now ...youll be out in 10 years lol..
2007-04-23 16:48:51 · answer #8 · answered by acierman2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let her be, if she's happy with what she's doing then so be it
2007-04-23 16:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by khatz 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋