still have not told my mom im pregnant?

Question

im 16 and pregnant. the story is: i have 2 other cousins that has gotton pregnant. one older and one younger and my mom found out not to long ago. my mom told me that she hopes i dont get pregnant. so i was wondering how do i break the bad news to her?



I know what I did was wrong and I don't need a lecture. well anyway I know I have to take responsibility for my baby. And my boyfriend who is the baby daddy is going to be in the baby life. I have a job and I live with both my mother and father. abortion and adoption is not an option at/of this moment. thanks for your answers!!

Answer 1

I don't know if there is a right/wrong way to tell her. It might be easier to write her a letter if you fear telling her. Anyway, good luck.

Answer 2

Just take her aside at a quiet time and tell her. Let her know you are sorry to have disappointed her so, and wish it had not have happened. Be open to the lecture and try to go from there.

As a minor, I expect that you depend upon your parents for food and shelter Therefore, you do not automatically get to call all the shots in their home. Hopefully, you will reach some cooperative agreement. You can't go to school, hold a job, and care for an infant by yourself.

I'm glad you are not going for an abortion, but I think you should definitely keep adoption in the mix of possibles. If you think that is a copout, read the story of King Solomon, the two women claiming one child, and the nature of love.

As far as your boyfriend goes, you cannot realistically count on anything from him beyond promises.

I wish you, your boyfriend and your families the very best! as you struggle to determine the best way to proceed.

Answer 3

The faster you get it over with, the easier it will be!

Just walk right up to her and tell her. If you want to save yourself the lecture then just start talking right away...."I know its stupid and wrong, but its too late I already made the mistake. Now I have to focus on getting the best care and learning how to be a good mother and I need your help"

She'll yell, cry probably go through all kinds of emotions but once you've admitted your mistake what else can she say?

One thing for sure though DO NOT let her find out through someone else.

You have to be an adult now. Be a big girl, get some courage and just do it. Then you and your parents should go and discuss what you're going to do with your boyfriends parents.

Good luck sweetie!

Answer 4

Stressing over this is not getting you anywhere. I am sure you are stressed enough so why not just get it out in the open. Then you can get on with it. If I was your Mom, yeah I would be disappointed but I would be more hurt that you would think you could not come to me with problems.
I think your mom would rather be there for you than have you hide it from her.
Tell her and tell her your concerns. Then give her some time to cool off. You might be suprised at how she reacts. She only wants what is best for you and in saying she didnt want you to be pregnant, it was just cos she was wanting a different future for you. But what is done is done and cannot be changed. Time to tell her and move on with things. The important thing now is to get good care for you and your baby. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

Hey. I went through the same thing. I'm 18 and just had my baby almost 5 months ago. I was so scared and I hadnt even admitted to myself that I was pregnant because I was scared to tell her. But she figured it out because I can't gain weight and all of a sudden I was and she was mad for a few days but got over it and became excited. There's nothing you can do. You can't go back in time so she'll figure that out. Yeah she still says things like "Well you wanted a baby.." and "I still don't know how this happened." I feel that the best way to tell my mom sorry or if I'm upset for some reason I write it in a letter, that way she can't yell at you or interrupt what you need to say. But remember to figure out your plan and what you need to do so she can be assured that it's not so bad. Research your heart out. WIC(vouchures for formula) and Medicaid(insurance) are good if you are not able to support your child. Im a full-time college student so I don't have a job and the only support I have is from the father and my school money. My mom's health insurance didn't support me because it was maternity so you may want to check into Medicaid it will pay for your delivery. Good luck to you. It will be the happiest momments of your life.

Also don't let anyone tell you that you can't do this. I did. You of all people can love your child with all your heart. You are his/her mother. The strongest bond he/she will ever have. I thought about adoption but I had such a bond to my baby there was no way. I thought that no one can take care of my baby like I can. I will do my best and I don' t know if they will. And that will follow my the rest of my life. There are thousands of babies and children that people who can't have children can adopt so don't let them tell you to give him/her up so they can adopt him/her because obviously they won't... they are still tons of kids out there. I still get told wow you're really young but I never let it stop me. My friend Brittany had a kid at 15 and she's able to do it so you can to. If you ever questions or anything just email me [e-mail].

Sarah
Mother of 1 :oD

Answer 6

You should be straight forward with your mother. She will be upset at first I am sure, but give her time to think about it and come to terms with the issue and she will be able to help you sort out the best options for you and your baby. You need to be getting prenatal care for you and your baby, so the sooner the better that you tell your mom so that you can get the care you need. Also do you plan to live with your parents, or your boyfriend. You might want to work out the details to show that you are capable of being responsible.

Answer 7

I think you should just sit down and tell her!! I was 17 and got pregnant twice (miscarried once) and I had my little boy 3 weeks before turning 18. My first child's dad and I were together for 3 years but we broke up when my son was 4 months. When my son was about 9 months I became pregnant again. Now all 3 times I told my mom almost right away and she never was mad maybe a little disappointed but all in all she has done more than help me, I mean seriously she has done soo much for me. But now I'm married with 2 boys one of which I had in February and I have my place and I'm doing pretty good now.

Answer 8

You might be surprised at how your parents will react. I was. I got pregnant with my son when I was 15 and my b/f was 16. I lied to her until I was 4 months pregnant and I got really sick with the flu and I had to go to the hospital and they ran blood work and they came back and told my mom. She wasn't as mad as I thought she would be. She said she was disappointed that I lied to her. My parents have always been really supportive of me. My son is 9 years old now, I also have a 6 year old daughter and a 1 year old daughter. I was with my husband for 10 years. You are just going to have to tell her the truth. The sooner the better. It may not be easy at first. Things will probably be a little weird for awhile. You can make the situation better by showing your parents you are taking this very seriously. Take responsibility of it. You are going to have to work a little to prove yourself. Get used to it. As a young mother you are always going to have to work a little harder to prove yourself to the people that doubt young parents can be good parents.

Answer 9

I remember what it was like to be 16... I know you didn't want any lectures and I'm not about to give you one. Take it from a married adult who suffered through infertility... what you're doing is not fair to you, your boyfriend, OR your unborn child. That baby deserves a home where they can have everything they'd ever dreamt of. They deserve a loving mother and a father. I wish God would get his sh * t straight and stop allowing teens to engage in sex and wind up pregnant, but that won't happen. Please, child, allow an infertile older MARRIED couple to parent your child. That child deserves everything in the world that you can never give...

Answer 10

i can relate to how you feel, i myself was once in that position and it is scary at first to know that your mom thinks so highly of you and here you are with a baby. Trust me honey she is going to get mad at you and probably not talk to you for a while but at the end of the day the love that she has for you is gonna change everything you'll find that she becomes supportive of you and this baby and she is gonna come around and be happy that she is having a granchild. She loves you and wouldnt want to see you or this baby get hurt. So good luck and hope everything goes o.k.

Answer 11

eNo you won't get a lecture but please talk to your mom, She will be the only person that will help you. And she may be hurt but her main concern is you. She will want what is best. My daughter came to me and we did the test together. Unfortunately she terminated the pregnancy and I was very hurt.after the schock leaves all will be well. There are many good programs for young moms now and schooling will not be interfiered with. Good Luck to you honey and if you need some advice e-mail me. I am a mom of 4 children so I have alot of wisdom that could help you.