I was 23 yrs old and married 3 yrs and believed our marriage was on solid ground until my husband started staying out later and later every evening after work. He told me he was cleaning the office to make more money. I had a 10 month old baby and a 3 yr old.
Next thing I knew was he was cheating and I filed for a divorce. He was so slick about it too. I couldnt believe it.
How do you gain your trust in men back again?
My son and daughter were raised by me alone. I have never been in a relationship since my divorce where I trusted the man. I am always suspicious.
I see young women with new babies and think they are fools for trusing there husbands. They seem so snug and naive.
Am I just a fruit cake? Do most men cheat and how do you get over something like that?
2007-04-23 15:46:52 · 13 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was cheated on by a loser of a husband and he left me for an older woman. I am now married for the second time and I can honestly say that I trust my husband. He comes home right after work and spends the weekend with me. I have no reason to not trust him. We have been together for 8 years. I think when a man gets married at a young age they tend to think they missed out on life and so they start cheating. Those are loser men. There are men out there who are family orientated you just need to get to know them and ask questions. Have fun we only live once.
2007-04-23 17:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No body knows for certain that their partner won't cheat.....100% is impossible. But I think getting married at an age of 30 y/o or older will help my marriage. I've lived my life, had my fun. Now I have a wife and two kids. Now, no matter how bad things get with my wife, I will not risk seeing my kids for a piece of a$$....no matter how good the offer.
Some day when your ready maybe you'll trust again, or maybe you'll find someone who will understand why you have an issue with trust. I'm a believer in the "time heals" saying.
2007-04-23 15:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by mike_hunterworks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am sorry to hear that. You can't hold what one man did to you against all men. I was cheated on (by an ex-boyfriend) before, but I still trust my husband. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. If you are suspicious of every man in your life, you will never be happy. You will end up driving away any decent man who wants to be with you. Sure it hurts to find out someone has done something so horrible to you, but that doesn't mean all husbands will cheat. I have seen first-hand what no trust in a relationship can do. A friend of mine had been cheated on a couple of times. She is now re-married and is always suspicious of her husband. If he is just a couple of minutes late coming home from work, she automatically thinks he was out with another woman. I know in fact he wasn't because my husband rides with him. They are always so miserable, and have been on the brink of divorce because of it a couple of times. Hard as it may be, try to open your heart up again. If you get hurt, well, try again. Being so un-trusting can't be easy on you and you can't truly be happy. You will find a good man, who loves you and your children with all his heart, but if you never trust anyone, you will never find him. Good luck.
2007-04-23 16:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by Katie R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to two cheaters and yeah, they can be slick. My poor husband now... I admit there were times when I was just sure he would cheat even though he gave me no reason to even think it. He's home every night, he calls me constantly, and I can track where his phone is... but there were still times I was so afraid he would, I accused him of it.
Thank God he was strong enough and kind enough to understand where my paranoia was coming from. Now that I have gotten past my past I see I am very lucky to have him. I know he would never cheat. I've seen how he acts around other women, if they come close to him he backs off, if they act flirty he rolls his eyes and excuses himself.
There are men out there who are not cheaters and it's hard to get past that hurt and believe it, but it's true and hopefully someday you will meet that man, a real man you can truly depend on!
2007-04-23 15:55:10 · answer #4 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luvliste...has hit the nail on the head,some men are not the family type,even though they have a family.My father was a good man,but he was always chasing skirts,all his married life.It got to the point that mom stopped caring about him,the only thing that mattered to her were us and his paycheck,he always did give it to her.They lived in the same house but led separate lives,I on the other hand found a man that is totally the opposite of my dad,we have been married for 29 yrs and I can honestly say I have never doubted his commitment to our family.There are trustworthy men out there,just got to pray you'll find him.
2007-04-23 18:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what your saying...but instead of being 23 yrs old my marriage was of 23 yrs old ..when my wifes deception became known...I want the most out of life and that for me is with a loving partner...I can go into a relationship with a open heart...I know I can never be as hurt as I was then.
2007-04-23 15:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad that one man has ruined your image of marriage. You have to remember that there are good men out there, ones who don't cheat and are committed to their marriage. Not every man is a scum bag.
I was cheated on too while I was 6 weeks pregnant. After dumping him, I realized that I can't bring that baggage into the next relationship. My philosophy is to trust until given a reason not to.
2007-04-23 15:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but I believe that most men do cheat. My husband cheated and almost every man I dated after that. It's too bad to because we women are good to the men we love.
2007-04-23 15:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fruit cake, probably not but you have some issues you should take the time to work through. not all marriages end the way yours did but if your not ever open to a relationship you are never going to have a opportunity to have a successful one.
i was cheated on by my ex, i wallowed in self pity for awhile, i was angry & untrusting then i realized it was senseless to let him have that much power of my future relationships. now i'm happily married but if i had never trusted then i wouldn't be here.
2007-04-23 15:58:26 · answer #9 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally secure, and I know he won't cheat, and neither will I. We've been married over 17 years, and knew each other for three before that.
-- just wondering, did you at least try to keep the marriage in some semblance of order, counselling, working together - anything at all?
Sorry, but I think part of the problem has to have been you just being immature when you got married at 20 and just chose the wrong guy.
2007-04-23 16:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋