mother in law visits for 3 weeks at a time help!!!!!?

Question

Ok how do i start... my mother in law lives in California i live in wi. Before i had kids, she came to visit us once or twice a year for about a week. I can totally deal with that! Since i had my first child four years ago she has been adding a week and a visit and has worked her way up to 3 weeks at a time 3 or 4 times a year!!!! Now dont get me wrong I love my mil but this has gotten out of hand. It's so hard for me to keep any kind of routine when she is around. And it takes me about a month to get back on track once she leaves. And just to clarify she does'nt spend the whole 3 weeks at my home she splits it up between her moms and my bil also, but i never know in advance what nights/days she'll be at my house and she does spend the majority of her time at my home. So i need some opinions. Can i ask her to only stay at our home for a set amount of time like one week each visit or something, how do i go about this with out sounding like a selfish *****? Any advice Please?

Answer 1

Firstly speak to your husband because no matter what you need to have his support. Tell him your thoughts on the Mii subject and then tell her that she can only stay 1 full week every time she stays.
Since she see's 2 other reletives, she can organise to stay with them for a week each.
When it comes down to it, it is your home, family & children!

Answer 2

well if you take this 2 your husband you are opening another can of worms,you run the household so as for being a mother and a hostess it is your job to handle it with grace,(when i say with grace)i mean if it requires you to lock yourself in a closet and scream into a pillow,well thats grace,you didn't yell at anyone but yourself...lol but these things have to be handled easy and with some grace or it is to hard on the son of your mil (your husband)the object is to get everyone through these visits as undamaged as you can.mil nomatter how sweet love to give advice so before a visit or during i would bring it up as to how unorganized things are and that you wanted to organize the whole house better and your first things is time management and she will give her two cents,then slowly maybe in a different convesation have a calender for the kids and put big stickers for the kids to know when grandma comes and then add all the family activites to this and let her help,then she can see all the things going on when she is not there and when she is she will be on bored and know things want just drop when she visits,and you will clearly know in advance mother inlaw visits and as for limiting visits,she is a woman and will get her feelings hurt and then you will spend more time feeling like **** from all areas,don't cause more issues than you really want to deal with at one time.

Answer 3

Don't tell your mother in law to stay for a certain amount of time, if you do she'll get really upset, and she'll think that you don't like her company. I guess you can't blame her for wanting to see her grandchildren. But you should tell her to tell you in advance when she plans to come. I would plan to be out of the house whenever you can when she comes. If you live in Wisconsin then there probably aren't too many places to visit while she is at the house. I would go to the mall and shop, go to the gym, or walk around in the city where I live.

Answer 4

Use the kids as the excuse. By that I mean ask her if she can spend one of the three weeks of her vacation at your house so that their schedules are as minimally interrupted as possible. Explain to her how excited they are when grandma comes to visit, and how hard it is to get them back on their regular schedule after she leaves. Make sure you emphasize how great and exciting it is to see her, and how that excitement affects them, rather than how much you hate the results. After all, she raised kids (at least your husband and BIL) so she ought to understand how important a schedule is. I like the idea of incorporating family outings with stickers on the calendar.

Answer 5

Oh guy if I have been given mad at all human beings my toddlers has gotten harm with guy i'd have a protracted checklist. merely 3 weeks in the past my 5 year old daughter fell of the slide in college busted her mouth on the slide and then the floor. interior the view your mom is giving my daughter ought to in no way bypass back to college by way of fact they did not keep a stable sufficient eye on her. injuries take place and likely your daughter would have had some dried blood nevertheless on her face yet while she bled for 15 minutes curiously like your MIL did freshen up maximum persons of it, and scrapes can seep blood for slightly so your daughter would have bled a splash extra at a similar time as she replaced into drowsing. in case you MIL is already afraid of harming a newborn she would have been scared to scrub each and all the blood off for concern of harming your daughter extra desirable. Your daughter is 3 this isn't the final time she gets harm and bleeds. and at last it is going to take place on your mom's watch.

Answer 6

You are not selfish by setting boundaries. Talk to DH and ask him flat out what he would consider reasonable for YOUR family member's length of vacation. (like your mom, etc) Then, broach the subject of his mom, and decide together what is reasonable. And if its not conveinient, just say so!!