What do you know NOW that you wish you knew (but didn't) the week your parents learned you were G, L, B, or T?

Answer 1

I wish I'd known years earlier that my family would have accepted me....I would have told them a lot sooner. although I don't know about my dad...he passed away years before I came out.

Answer 2

My Mom was long gone, but the one thing I do regret when I told my Dad was that I wish I spent more time with him, he was such a cool man and so supportive, but, I was young. He told me to go out and live my life and be the best gay man I could be, so I did, and I feel like in some way I put him second and neglected him. Oh sure, when he was sick I was all over it but the 5 years in between I really really feel like I missed out. You ask what I wish I knew, not so much what I knew but more like what I realized, that life is fragile and the ones we love can die at any given moment. Not to get all morbid or anything but I think your question is a good one and I want others to go call their parents, siblings, relatives, anyone they've put off because life gets in the way. I wish I realized its not always all about me a little bit sooner. Thank you for your time.

Answer 3

Just because you're a transexual doesn't mean you have to let your parents see you with a pair of socks in your crotch area... mind you, a very EXCESSIVE pair of socks chosen by a t-boy who was very new to the whole thing!

If you already know your parents are psycho conservative bigots, for the love of Pete don't tell them you're a tranny.

It's probably a better idea to just NOT wear your old girl clothes, rather than pull all of them out of your closet and pile them on the floor.

Even if you're only taking a syllable off your name, and if the name you want to be called by can be either a guy or girl name, your parents will still not like it. For instance, Kristine -> Kristoph (but I go as Kris... not even really a guy name and my grandpa has called me Kris for years without them caring, but now that i'm out, OH NOO it's evil!)

ETC.

Answer 4

Testosterone and my genetics are a very bad combination. Facial hair is expensive to remove. A 40A bra is hard to find. I wish I would have known how much harder of a path it is to transition older. I started to transition when I was 19 1/2, but if I could have made the switch when I was 12, it would have made things a heck of a lot easier, and I could have had a lot better results!

Answer 5

There is nothing that I know now that I didn't know when I told my Mother I was Gay. And I wouldn't have changed the way in which I told her. There are many ways to tell parents that you are gay. Regardless of the relationship you have with your parents, coming out to them may be very difficult. It's natural that your parent or parents have expectations for their children. They imagine success, happiness and grandchildren. Being gay is probably not one of the characteristics they had in mind. These steps may help you know when the time is right to come out to them.
Instructions
Difficulty: Moderately challenging
Steps
1Step OneFind a support network or consider seeing a professional therapist who is gay-friendly. Coming out can be difficult and sometimes life changing. It is important to have a safe place for you to share your experience.
2Step TwoBuy a book or two about parents of gay children. Even though your parent or parents are ultimately responsible for their reaction and feelings, understanding the issues and questions parents face may help your formulate what to say and how to say it.
3Step ThreeWait for your parents to ask. The gay adage is, "If your parents ask, they are ready for the answer."
4Step FourWrite a letter to your parents instead of telling them face-to-face. A letter can be edited until it says exactly what you want it to say. Once you give it to them, it also gives your parents a chance to read everything you want to tell them without interruption. They can read it in private and alone. Encourage them to talk to you once they are done.
5Step FiveAttend a Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) meeting. You will experience how many different parents have accepted their sons and daughters. Then, when you are ready, give your parents the phone number. They may not use it right away, but at least they have it.
Tips & Warnings
Give a book to your parents - when you're ready. Just as it is important for us to know that we are not alone, it will be comforting to your parents to know that they are not alone.
As hard as it may be to believe or accept, you are not responsible to your parents for being gay. It is not your fault or theirs. Being gay is not a fault. It is no better or worse than being straight. It is part of what makes you who you are. Good luck!
You may not have the luxury of picking the place and time to come out to your parents. You may be "found out." Someone may tell your parents, or they may find something as harmless as a book. Turn this surprise into something positive. Once they know, they know. Move forward and enjoy the sense of

Answer 6

I wish I knew that my parents can be violent.

Answer 7

How lonely I would be at 39 years old as a frustrated gay male trying to find love and happiness in the "gay world". While my straight siblings were literally (pro) creating their future, I ended up alone and middle aged.

Answer 8

I wish I knew then that everything would eventually be OK and that they would eventually come around. That would have saved so much worrying and stress!

Answer 9

That being bi is a neutral thing that can be beautiful and positive. I went in whispering my shameful secret at age 15, and my mother reinforced my shame. And then I went to God to "cure" it.

Answer 10

Unfortunately, my Boyfriend and I are still waiting for that day to come.