I feel sad at work when others talk about their families especially their children.
My daughter lives with her Dad in another state. We talk but not that often. She is upset with me for various reasons.
I feel ashamed of myself for being divorced and not having much of a family life to talk about. People talk about attending their children's games, etc.
I usually spend the weekends by myself running errands and sometimes get together with friends.
I wish that I had a different life, but right now I do not. I can not get back together with my ex-husband because but I can not. I know that he and his mother wanted that and felt that my "future' was with him.
How do I handle this feeling of not belonging because I can not talk about my family at work? I feel ashamed because my child is not doing well and is not with me. I gave him custody during the divorce.
2007-04-23 14:22:47 · 6 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It`s all about accepting where life has taken you. You have to accept that now you are a divorcee and your child is not with you for the moment. Divorcee can have very exciting lives. Go shop, pamper yourself, go out on dates, go speed dating, you will have so many stories to tell at work. Believe me, those mom at work who are spending their weekends in baseball fields are dying to hear exciting stories about dating!! My first year alone after my divorce (15 year marriage) I use to go on a dates every weekend and people at my office (married with kids) couldn't wait to hear my stories about how was the guy, did he pay for dinner, did he try to make a move, did he pick his nose! This is your life right now make it fun! .Good luck!
2007-04-23 14:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a great time to become who YOU want to be. You probably need to deal with the issue of communicating with your daughter, but other than that - the ashamed feeling is coming from a standard set by someone that you didn't make. Well guess what... you have the power to set your own standards. Pick up a new hobby, join a gym (lots of cute guys there, lol) and find value in what you actually have. You don't have to be tied to anyone's schedule and can explore as much as you chose. By all means increase - or seek- a relationship with God thats where true fulfillment comes from anyway.
My mother went through the same thing, we are now the best of friends and she is remarried - at 54.
Take YOUR time, and create your own atmosphere.
I know you will come out on top.
2007-04-23 21:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by K B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try to find some other single women to talk to. You can talk about work, what you watched on tv, magazine articles that you found interesting, movies, the news, shopping.
I don't know why you feel so ashamed of being divorced, you're not the only one. My manager ,supervisor, best friend and I have all been divorced and don't think any less of each other for it.
Sounds like your divorce was recent, so you need to give yourself time to get over it. It'll get better, just take it a day at a time. God Bless.
2007-04-23 21:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by jen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why not focus on the things that you can fix, like your relationship with your daughter. Make mending that a top priority. Get yourself involved in her life, make it a point to go visit her and let her know that she is important. Actually discuss why she is angry with you and try to resolve those issues as best you can. Request regular visitation with your daughter. You can't change the fact that you are divorced, however you can change your relationship with your daughter. Then you could talk about her, and it just might improve her situation to have her mother back in her life on a regular basis.
2007-04-23 21:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by Hillary J 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if this is the same thing but I was anorexic and have to deal with my co-workers talking about dieting... it literally makes me nauseous, also I miscarried a few years ago and it kills me to hear my co-workers talking about their children. I can't imagine the pain your going through- when you listen to your co-workers remind yourself that you've done the best that you've been able to do for your daughter. You need to find peace with your decision and not feel ashamed of it- In the mean time distract them when the conversation gets too pain full...
2007-04-23 21:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by Sage B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
>> Get involved in something, maybe charity work or church. Get a pet. Go back to school. I read somewhere recently that the number of single women is now greater than the number of married women, so do not feel bad about that.
2007-04-23 21:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by Yahoogirl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋