My dad died 2 months ago?

Question

Ok so my dad died 2 months ago (I'm 14) and like I don't know what to do. I refuse to read and books or go to any support groups or anything like that because......well.......they don't know what's going on with ME and I don't want them telling me how I should feel. And I don't want to talk to my mom or my sister (who's 17) because once again they may know thier emotions but they don't know mine. And like I want to go to my friends but they don't know what's going on. So like I want to talk to someone but I don't know who to talk to and I don't know what to do because like I want to be happy but I want to be sad and I want to be....I don't know what I want to be. HELP!!!

Answer 1

hope this helps you :)
im a muslim and as you know my holy book is the quran. it says a very simple thing. all people belong to God, and its His will if he wants the people on the earth, and when He wants them up in the heavens with Him.
so its just a matter of acceptance. you just accept that hes gone, and is with God (our God is the same ok!) and hes happy and looking down upon you and your family. just accept it.
plus, little things matter, what if he hadnt died and gotten divorced. i went through a divorce, it was HELL! it wouldve been less painful if my dad died! so just accept hes gone and its by Gods will. :) God wanted him, he took him back, but hes in your heart. relish the good memories you had with him and even cry if you want to, it helps. forget these support groups blah blah. just accept it and be thankful hes in a much much better place.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry. This is going to be hard no matter how you get through it, but you will get through it. That's down the road, though - right now is the problem.
First, counseling isn't about telling you how to feel or what to think. The main thing is to let you talk. A good counselor will let you start working into the things that hurt, and hopefully help you get the raw stuff out in the open where you can take a look at it. Most of the time, the things you're afraid to look at aren't as bad as you thought they would be, when you get them out where you can see them.
You're absolutely right about your mother and sister - they _don't_ know how you feel, only how they feel. Maybe you can talk with your sister and tell each other how you each feel? It's not a competition, and it can be easier to carry a load if you've got some help.
Do you have some other adult to talk to? Half the benefit, in my experience, is just having someone to listen to me when I need to talk about something. Someone at school? Your pastor? Grandparents? If you can't think of anybody, and you don't want to try anything else, maybe writing? Could you write letters to your Dad? Do you pray? Sometimes that helps me. You'll be OK, Honey - just hang in there with your family; as bad as you're feeling is as bad as they're feeling too, and helping each other is the best way to get through.

Answer 3

Your Dad will always be with you. He is still there in your thought and in your heart. Though, he is not here physically, those thoughts and what he has said to you in the past...will come to mind. You may see someone wear something or look similar to your Dad and it will turn your head to get a closer look. Memories are our greatest treasures and tears don't mean you are weak, they show the love you had for someone who you will miss so much. In time, the pain will ease and even though you go on with all you have to do in life...those thoughts will never leave you. They may appear at times so unexpected. You have to let yourself feel the way you do at any given time. I found the best thing to do, is to start at the very beginning of your life and try to remember the happy times with him and also the sad, unhappy ones. It may take a little time...but if you do this each day...it will help to heal you. You will be able to face more of the days without him. You cannot rush this process. Don't think of him not being with you now...try to imagine him there and what he may say or do. Sometimes you will find yourself smiling even though it will be through tears. Some people try to throw themselves back in life and become so busy that they don't take time to think about losing someone... this only prolongs their grief and they can go into deep depressions. Take things slowly and do what you can each day. If you cannot face going on for awhile, take a short break and treat yourself to something that is enjoyable. You have friends and family around you that you can still make wonderful memories with. The love your Dad showed to you, you can pass onto others and even your children. His memory will live on then. I hope this has been of some help to you. Best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 4

Very sorry to know. But it is the life circle. Every one to come and leave the world in there time. So don't be worry because your mother and elder sister are with you. They are elder than you and they are also same as you because they have more responsibility for the family. Try to forgive thinking about what had gone and try to becoming normal. Don't think that you are alone about that case there are more in the world and living that situation.
Start your work again, talking with your mother and sister too and that way you also helpful for your broken house and becoming peaceful home.
Meet your friends, go out from home for freshness, read or write to your nearest and dearest so I think you will be free form this situation early and this will also helpful for your better life too.
If you change yourself then your mother and sister also be happy and they have to easy way to take over the house problems and your family will again happily and peaceful.

Answer 5

Support groups are for you to go to and listen to other people talk about how they are dealing with their grief. If you don't want to speak, you don't have to. Also, they don't tell you how you need to be feeling or what you need to be doing. It's really so that you can see that grieving is a very human process and death is unexpected even if it was expected (because of illness, for example) because you always think you are going to see the person alive for many years and in fact, they aren't going to be around. It shocks everyone kind of the same way. Just to pass the time, I think you would benefit from listening in with a support group. Bring some knitting to do and some kleenex!

Answer 6

I think you just want everyone to leave you alone and let you feel what you are feeling. Grief is something that you have to deal with your own way on your own time schedule. I definately think you should consider talking to a counselor. They just listen and don't tell you how you should feel like they do at group meetings. maybe you could also sit and talk with your mom and your sister. I am sure that they are hurting too and it may help for you all to share this sadness together. I hope your heart begins to heal soon.

Answer 7

k first of all im sry for ur loss i know ur probably tierd of hearing that but just thought id say. and i know ur probably thinking that i dont know what im talkin about but i do i also lost my dad when i was six (i know i was little but latley it has been hitting me really hard)
talking with others can really help but go to ur friends that will listen because thats what u really should do just talk and let them listen. they might not know what ur goin through but they are ur friends and should be there for u
and member even if u dont want to talk just sitting there with someone or being on the phone with someone but not saying anything can help just the thought of someone there for u.

it sounds like u do want to talk and not keep stuff hiddin in. i think thats why alot of my loss is hitting me know because i held it in for so long and now im finally talking about it and all the emotions are commin out, so member to try not to keep things hidden in u for too long because it can build up.

if u want to talk heres my email: [e-mail]

Answer 8

Ok, so you don't wanna talk to your OWN mother or OWN sister, but you come ONLINE and start talking about this. I'm sorry that your father died honey, but your not going to get any support from people online that are strangers, come on now. SOrry but talk to you MoM AND SISTER!!! Love yah girl! Peace out!

Answer 9

i really dont have an answer that is a tough one. but i do want to say that my heart goes out to you god bless you and as hard as this might be to swallow life does go on remember the good times keep your chin up when ya can .and ALWAYS remember the heart never forgets love is forever.the hurt might get so bad you dont think your gonna make it but time does ease the pain .hang in there hun.

Answer 10

well if u don't want 2 go to support groups maybe u could go 2 an online support thing where u talk avout things

maybe ya could do that
hope i helped

ALIYAH