Is it possible to keep it from your family but not your friends/everyone else?

Question

I'm a lesbian, and I know that my family definitely will not accept it, and if they do it would only be to my face. So I don't want them to know, but everyone else can.

Do a lot of people do this, or do a lot of them eventually end up coming out to family even if they didn't think they would? What do you do about the whole marriage age?

Answer 1

One of the things that happens when you come out of the closet is you quickly lose control of the information. I can remember counting the number of people who knew as I began telling my friends. I made it to about 8 or 10 before they started sharing the story with other people.

Some of your friends may have an emotional reaction to learning about your sexual orientation, and they may need to talk with someone to help them adjust to the news. The information can become a bit of gossip that others will want to share. If your parents are friends of your friends' parents, chances are they will get wind of your information soon.

HOWEVER, I don't think that preventing your parents from having a reaction is a reasonable goal. What you're trying to avoid is YOUR COPING with your parents' reaction. Get yourself adequate support, and then you can let your parents know in the way you want them to find out: Face-to-face, write a letter, one parent at a time, both together, in a restaurant (which can limit their reaction), during your brother's wedding reception, or the best way that works for you and your family.

Good luck!

- {♂♂} - {♂♀} - {♀♀} -

Answer 2

Regardless of the relationship you have with your parents, coming out to them may be very difficult. It's natural that your parent or parents have expectations for their children. They imagine success, happiness and grandchildren. Being gay is probably not one of the characteristics they had in mind. These steps may help you know when the time is right to come out to them.
Instructions
Difficulty: Moderately challenging
Steps
1Step OneFind a support network or consider seeing a professional therapist who is gay-friendly. Coming out can be difficult and sometimes life changing. It is important to have a safe place for you to share your experience.
2Step TwoBuy a book or two about parents of gay children. Even though your parent or parents are ultimately responsible for their reaction and feelings, understanding the issues and questions parents face may help your formulate what to say and how to say it.
3Step ThreeWait for your parents to ask. The gay adage is, "If your parents ask, they are ready for the answer."
4Step FourWrite a letter to your parents instead of telling them face-to-face. A letter can be edited until it says exactly what you want it to say. Once you give it to them, it also gives your parents a chance to read everything you want to tell them without interruption. They can read it in private and alone. Encourage them to talk to you once they are done.
5Step FiveAttend a Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) meeting. You will experience how many different parents have accepted their sons and daughters. Then, when you are ready, give your parents the phone number. They may not use it right away, but at least they have it.
Tips & Warnings
Give a book to your parents - when you're ready. Just as it is important for us to know that we are not alone, it will be comforting to your parents to know that they are not alone.
As hard as it may be to believe or accept, you are not responsible to your parents for being gay. It is not your fault or theirs. Being gay is not a fault. It is no better or worse than being straight. It is part of what makes you who you are. Good luck!
You may not have the luxury of picking the place and time to come out to your parents. You may be "found out." Someone may tell your parents, or they may find something as harmless as a book. Turn this surprise into something positive. Once they know, they know. Move forward and enjoy the sense of relief

Answer 3

put it this way even if they never accept it they get over it and get use to it and its never a big deal after 4 or 5 years they just learn to accept it tell your family It wont be as bad as you think unless you are a poor black man in a southern state and your not sooo lol ...

Answer 4

No parents find out. They are not as stupid and out of touch as you might believe.

There is nothing you are doing today that your parents didn't have to face when they were your age.

If your parents are going to be upset, then you need to abstain until you can move out of their home. When you can take care of yourself, then you are old enough for a physical relationship.

They still have the responsibility of guiding you through life until that time....

Answer 5

all my friends know and none of my family do LOL.
i dont know how that happened, but my friends all accept it, and basicallly all of them figured it out themselves and asked me.

Answer 6

it depends... if your a high-school kid that still lives at home, it might be pretty hard. if your living away at college or boarding school, it might be alot easier.