im 19 and i want a baby so bad i can't think of anything else do i need help!?

Question

I really want a baby and im only 19.I no i can care for it because im stable enough to work and take care of it. I don't currently have a boyfriend but i do have a friend with "benefits". It's sometimes all i can think about is this wrong. And if u are going to just get up here and answer with a rude *** comment u mite as well just save it cause i ain't got time for that this to me is very serious.
Please don't just answer just because u want answer points please answer because u really feel drawn to answer this question.
thank you all for your answers in advance!

Answer 1

I would highly suggest that you babysit a friend's baby overnight and see what it's like. Before you make any big decisions in your life, you should try to put yourself in that person's shoes. What is it really going to be like? What do you really need to have ready to have a baby?

In my case, I'm married, my husband and I make over $100K a year, and we both work full time, and we can barely afford to pay our rent and bills and take care of our baby. So, unless you are going on welfare (which is unfair to the rest of us), how are you planning on doing this?

It takes a stable home with two parents to even begin to care for a baby. There are single moms out there, bless their souls, but they will tell you how hard it is. There are times when you will want to just put the baby down and go outside and scream and cry, it's so hard!

When the baby is sick, and you are sick, and you are sitting in the hospital emergency room, missing work for the 3rd time that month, worried about getting fired, and the baby is crying because he is hungry, and you are so hungry but you can't leave the baby there and go get something to eat....

These are some things you should think about. It's not all fun and games. It f-ing sucks at times! It's hard, hard work!!!! If you just want something to love, get a kitty.

Answer 2

I am 19 with a 9 week old. Please don't go out an get pregnant on purpose! Especially by a "Friend". My boyfriend & I are together & have been for almost 3 years. He works full time, I work part time. We live with his parents & we still are low on money.. so we are still questioning when the hell we will be able to move out. Trust me.. a baby is alot of money, time & responsibility. Just enjoy the rest of u "childhood" until it's really time to GROW UP. I wouldn't give my daughter up for the world. But if I knew then what I know now.. that's all I will say, I just would have been more careful when I was worried about "partying" an not paying attention to what we were getting into!! So please my opinion, wait until you are with someone for awhile & try to plan it for the best.. not bc u "want" a baby. once u have a baby.. u can't give it back!! Life is never the same. How you think things will go & really how they will go are two different scenerios. You want to have a real family so that way u get help an the baby has a mommy & daddy full time not here & there. :) I hope u think this through...

Answer 3

I was like you at 19... I wanted a baby bad... But now at 24 I am really glad that I didn't get pregnant at 19... I did however get pregnant at 21 on Depo (a surprise) I love my daughter and I LOVE being a mom but being a single mom is a tough road... My suggestion to you is not to let people tell you that what you want is wrong but to wait... Save as much money as you can in the next 2-4 years and plan for a baby then. If you have a good job and are as smart as I think you may be then you will be more finacially ready then and go for it. The feeling isn't going to go away but your financial situation will improve. Babies/Children cost a lot and being a young mom is wonderful but I really have a hard time with two things
1) I learned that I was pregnant the weekend before I turned 21 making it impossible to celebrate the age at all and now being a single mom I rarely get out and find it hard to meet new friends
2) I wasn't financially ready for a new bundle of joy. The first year wiped out all of my savings and now even with a good job after daycare, rent, food, car insurance, gas and clothing... I have only $40 a month to put into savings making it impossible to get ahead. I really wish that I could afford some classes or dance or something fun like that for my daughter because she would LOVE it but I just can't.

Also be really careful who you choose the father to be, make sure he knows in advance and that he is someone you will be able to live with and be friends with for the rest of your life!

Answer 4

I was the same way at 19...its the premature biological clock. I felt like I didn't have time to waste and I wanted someone that would love me unconditionally. I was wrong. I was pregnant at 19 and lost him four months in. After that I took time for myself and did the young woman thing(friends, partys, clubs) then I found the perfect man and we did the young couple thing for a couple of years. Now I am 24 and I thank God everyday that things worked out the way that they did. I have a beautiful 7 month old little boy who is so excited to see his daddy get home from work.
My advice love is to just be young, wait for the right MAN and begin your family when you will have the financial ability to do so. Working and not being able to spend time with your baby sucks! He/she will need you there, plus you don't want to miss all the smiles, and giggles, milestones and dirty diapers. You know, the fun stuff!
Be safe and good luck.

Answer 5

Well,this is a bad idea in the first place. Why would you want to have a baby with your friend with "benefits" he won't have an responsibility at all with HIS child. he won't support you at all. plus does he know you want a baby with him is it going to be like hey I'm having your baby whats up?You probably are not stable enough to take care of a baby,what will you do for money when you are trying to raise an 8 month old,you can't work and play with a new born at the same time. Yes it is wrong,what will you tell your baby when he\she wants to meet their daddy and your like "oh its(place name here) my friend" your baby will be more confused then ever. find a stable man who wants to care for you and a baby. good things come to those who wait.

Answer 6

I was 21 when I had my son and I am a single mother. It is VERY hard. God bless my parents, cause if it wasnt for them I wouldnt be able to provide for my son. I went though the same thing about your age, I had "baby fever" so bad I couldt sleep without thinking about having one. Trust me hun, and wait. You'll be glad you did. Being a single mother is not everything it is cracked up to be. If you do decide that after all this advice that you still want to have a baby, plan on not having ANY time to your self. In a single parent household (cause yes there are single fathers out there too) you are Mommy and Daddy. It takes alot of you playing both roles all day everyday. Dont get me wrong I wouldnt trade my son for the world, but it is very draining. Imagine, not being able to do laundry, dishes, or ANY house work for that matter, with out a baby crying for your attention every time you walk out of their eye sight. My son is now 7 months old, if I walk away from him to do something (yes even make him a bottle) he crawls after me crying, he is constantly up my butt. There will be no more bath room breaks by yourself, and good luck getting even a 5 min shower.

Answer 7

Do you have a good job? Are you married with a good man that has a job and can take care of a family? A baby needs a stable family. When you have a child, it is not only about you but about them and what they need. Instead of thinking about a baby, go to college and get a degreee than plan the baby. The baby is going to need a responsible mother. Mother is the one who raises the child and provides for the child. Any body can have a child but it is how responsable you are that makes you a mother.

Answer 8

Well first off I'd say think about why you want a baby in the first place.... are you really ready to have a baby? Don't just think about yourself think about that baby too. If you do get pregnant and have a baby who will be his/her father? It's not fair to the baby for you to bring him into the world with no support. Is your current job good enuff to support both you and your baby. I mean babies are really expensive and A LOT OF WORK. Sure they are adorable and great to have but only if you are ready. Taking care of a baby is a huge responsibility. You have to give up so much. Don't expect to be partying with your friends and w/e else you used to do.

Answer 9

Some people mature faster then others! But my advise is find someone you can dill with for the next 18 or 19 years. Being a mother a hard thing but very rewarding!!!
Give your self time find someone important to share it with get to know them and love them. That may not be something you want to hear (Wait) but it is a wise decision to make.
No nothing is wrong with you it's just what we dream about doing and it's a neat thing to go threw it just takes a lot of work and patients. I wise you luck!!!

Answer 10

I was 19 when my son was born, but I was married, and we were definately ready. Wait until you're married because you really need someone to help. You won't like waking up at 2 am and 5 am, then going to work in the morning. It costs about $500 per month for a baby, excluding daycare because I stay at home.