Why are so many grandparents raising their grandchildren? I dont want to be a parent all over again.?

Question

I hate to say it but children these days are so rude.

Answer 1

In my case, my daughter has severe emotional problems and doesn't know how to treat her 3 sons properly. She has a real anger problem.

She loves the boys but isn't good with other people at all. She has been to doctors since she was 8 years old, herself. She has been hospitalized 3 times because of it and is on Social Security Disability for it.

She has beat me up through the years, including in Sept. 2002, when she put me into the hospital with a swollen, bruised brain and a moderate stroke. I spent 7 days in there. She did the beating in my front yard, in front of her 3 sons. The oldest, who was 8 at that time, was the one who called 911.

My daughter is now on 4 years of probation for that beating.

I took her boys away and had legal guadianship to give them security, love and a stable home life. I have adopted the 2 oldest now. The oldest is now 12, the second oldest is now 9. I still have legal custody of the 7 year old.

In this state, I am not able to adopt them unless their mother gives me permission, unless she is not visiting them on a regular basis, even though she only has visitations if a certain person is allowed to come with her. I can't think of what that is called. My mind has gone blank as I am typing this.

Anyway, so far she refuses to give me permission to adopty "her baby" as she refers to the youngest.

You mention in your question that some children these days are so rude, you may be correct in cases where grown children with kids are just too lazy to care for their own children and just want to party or whatever, but there are cases similar to mine where the adult children are unable to care properly for their kids and the grandparents step in to take the grandchildren in order to make sure they are not left to foster homes or worse.

Answer 2

Like the first person said, there is a whole generation of parents (or two) who are "out of it".

I work with charities and churches. Almost the entire female side of my mother's family are educators, good ones, like in the past (teachers, principals, counselors, psychologists, speech therapists, test proctors, curriculum advisors, professors, etc).

There are lots of children who have parents who are on drugs or in jail. Many people who lived this lifestyle are dead and the children are basically orphaned. There was a whole group of guys who were killed in gang or drug violence and they left their children behind.

This is a huge problem.

Many of the grandparents and sometimes great-grandparents of these children have to work too and they are widows or widowers and it makes it difficult to raise them.

This is akin to some of the places I have been around the world: Russia, where there are also many children who were abandoned or lost in the burgeoning drug problem there; Kenya and South Africa where there are many orphans due to AIDS; Angola, Rwanda, Afghanistan- children orphaned due to years of war...

This has happened before. There were many grandparents who raised children alone in Europe after World War II, especially in Germany, France, and Holland.

It is a sad state affairs, particularly in this country, but it happens.

Be grateful and pray for the grandparents and these kids. It could be worse. Many children don't even have grand or great grand parents to care for them.

Answer 3

I dont understand why women have kids if they cant handle the responsibility. I love my grand girls to death and see them often. I thank God that my daughter and her husband are good parents. Grandparents dont want to be separated from their grand kids, or see them go into foster homes, and I dont blame them. I might add that some grandparents are too old to raise kids again. After all, rhey already raised their own. Good luck to iteludes and God bless.

Answer 4

Maybe the actual parents aren't able to raise their own kids due to circumstances that are happening in their lives. Therefore, the grandparents take it upon themselves to raise the kids because they don't want to see them go to foster homes.

Answer 5

We have one set of grandparents that are raising 7 children--because two of their children died leaving children behind.

Answer 6

I agree if this generation is poppin the kids out they should take care of them, I see lots of grandparents raising children ... why not be responsible and take care of your own children

Answer 7

Look at it as an opportunity. If my mother got a hold of my kids (which I may have before I die), chances are good that they'd have better manners than I did... And I pride myself on adequate manners, at least. So if you have the chance, take it and help improve the world just that much.

Answer 8

The only reason a grandparent should raise a grandchild is if the parents unfortunately died.

Answer 9

Because parents don't want to take responsibility for there own kids so they just haul them off to the grandparents

Answer 10

Too many people who are not capable or willing to take care of themselves have children..... there should be some type of qualification test....