Why do women worry about a mans job when dating?

Question

Men don't seem so obsessed like this. If women consider themselves "equal" why is the guy's earning potential so important? What does this demonstrate?

Answer 1

These women only care about equality at work. Not many women are that interested in being assertive in dating anymore. I still am. It doesn't matter how much a guy earns, because I always pay my way.

However, for some women, it's not the salary — it's the job itself. We like men with ambition. Why? Because we don't like losers.

Answer 2

Well often people spend time around others who are roughly "equal" or the "same" as them in many ways. If I look at my friends they are mostly middle class, university educated type people - I get along with them best because we have many things in common.

When looking for a date you want someone you are compatible with. Financially, emotionally, conversationally and generally you can get a good idea about someone when you know what they do. it's not always fair to judge somone based on their job, but there is a big difference between dating a teacher and dating a factory worker.

Some woman may look for a provider but when looking, I often am intimidated by someone who makes a LOT more than me, I'd like life to be fairly equal and since I don't want to get stuck doing all of the housework, I want someone who makes roughly the same as me, so I don't feel that I have to earn extra by vacuuming...

Just some thoughts...

Answer 3

Not all women care about a man's job, when dating or when not dating. I've dated people who make the same as I do, a lot less and a lot more. I value a person's intellect, maturity, ability to be fun and interesting, who is loving, caring and honest. Most of the women I know feel the same way.

Some women are looking for a partner who can help them out with supporting their kids, instead of being the sole provider.

Other women I've talked with are mainly concerned about having a partner who is responsible and capable; I don't hear women talking about what a guy does or how much money he makes.

Why are some men obsessed with how a woman looks?

Answer 4

This is an issue that is still of great importance to women because in general, women's salaries are not yet equal to men. There is also social status issues and the inescapable fact that women bear the children and they will require economic support until they can return to work. The children of the couple also is a major factor in why some women are concerned about a man's job.

Generally women, admit or not, like to know that they can be "taken care of by their partner."

Admittedly, my response does not fit all situations. Much like your question, not all women agree that they are "equal" to men. There is still a lot of work to be done before we can consider our society equal for women and men.

Answer 5

Because many (not all) women judge a man on his job to be his worth and who he is. They want the guy to buy things for them because they are quite superficial, selfish, and greedy. (again, not all, just a lot)

A few methods I use to weed out the bad ones are these:
1: What do you do? (this is often how they ask it as it's what they believe is the extent of this man, this is your first clue) I generally just say I work on computers. So it doesn't sound too important.
2. If they ask how much you make then just say something like 'enough' or 'not as much as I'd like'
3. Don't buy them stuff! A little here and there like a meal or small present is fine. But constantly buying them stuff is like feeding the beast.

Now if she still sticks around after this, there's a fair chance that she's actually interested in you and not your wallet so much.

Answer 6

I will only speak about my reasons for asking about a job. I will not speak about others because I don't know the reasons of others, nor do I care about the reasons of others. When on a date, I will ask about a man's job as I'm honestly curious what he does for a living. This is a good jumping off point to find out more about the person's character. Does he like his job? Is it JUST a job? Is it something he enjoys doing? Is he fulfulling his passion in life? Why did he choose that job or what lead him to that job? The only point where the money issue becomes involved is I don't want to get into a relationship where the man expects me to take care of him. I certainly don't expect a man to take care of me. I prefer to be in a relationship with someone who knows how to take care of himself, and can live within his means. I don't care if he's working at Wal-Mart or McDonald's as long as he can support himself. At my age, that's just a basic requirement for being an adult. And I want a relationship with a man, not a child.

Answer 7

It is natural for any woman to want to be provided for. If you are on a date..she is already attracted to you. By finding out information about your career or income...it allows her to think whether or not you would be a good provider if the two of you were to have children. This is just human nature. Women need to be secure and know that they and their future offspring will be taken care of. Just like men usually want a thin but curvy woman..if she is too skinny he thinks she can't even have kids. If she is too fat, it looks like she can't even have kids. If she is a decent size, instinctually, he will size her up to see if he thinks she is capable of carrying his child.. thus furthering his line. All of this is totally animal instinct and what generally we are all attracted to.

Answer 8

Human nature dating back millions of years imbedded into the genome. Don't even think that it could change over a measley 50 years. Women who survived and whos families survived throughout history had mates who could provide for them(food and shelter). This ingrained financial security into the female brain as an attractive feature in a man. This dosen't make a woman a goldigger....simply human.

Answer 9

Think about it. Women in general earn less than men. If a man can't work or hold down a job, how is he going to provide for a family? Or even pay his own way dating? People who can't work generally have other problems that are equally bad, like alcoholism or bi-polar disorder or even worse things. It's a red flag.

Answer 10

Pamela's simple answer elucidated the evolutionary reasons for this behavior; the behavior that is quite played out in proximate situations. The long reach of the genes.