I don't know whether or not to believe that these emotions I'm having are real or not?

Question

Could I just be making them up? What's wrong with me?

These emotions are not new. Again, this semester I'm starting to feel uncomfortable whenever I am around people. I feel silent, awkward, uncomfortable with myself and others. Call it whatever you want to call it...anxiety, low cofidence...etc. I feel ugly, lame, extremely stupid and vulnerable. I feel like I'm forced to speak. Somedays I feel invisible, alone and other days I want to be invisible. Somedays I feel like I'm not noticed, other days I feel like everyone is staring at me, thinking negative things about me, greatly incompetent. I've always had an A gpa, but this semester I lost myself in so many ways and I am failing my classes. I'v disappointed my professors, my classmates, myself. I keep a positive attitude these days, but why does this keep on happening? Last semester I misinterpreted things, but I showed confidence, leadership skills, people looked up to me, I was noticed, busy and got straight A's. Illness?

Am I too stupid for college?

Sometimes people talk to me and I don't absorb one word that they are saying!!!

Answer 1

no, it sounds like the tension and pressure are overwhelming you,,, even when you keep up the A's, that has to be stressful
not handling stress can overwhelm you
i suggest talking to a counselor at your college , if you havent
also keep in mind,,, this is an age to be insecure, to feel doubtful,,,,, realize others, most likely the person sitting beside you, has had the same feelings at some time or another,,,,,,,,
take a deep breath,,, know that even if you fail a class, you are not a failure! try to make your classes, and grades , a top priority,,, but do make some time each day for something relaxing and perhaps fun, watch a comedy show,,,,,,, or take a walk,,,,, anything to relive your stress
ps: as to people talking to you and you not absorbing what they are saying, what are you doing while they are talking? are you fully listening,,,, or are you contemplating one thing they said,,, or thinking about your response? here again, many people do this, it takes a learned skill to really tune in and listen, to stop your mind,,,, and listen, only listen,,,,, its respectful to the person to do that,,,,,, if necessary, ask them to repeat it,,,,, and listen again

Answer 2

You are quite eloquent. You are NOT stupid.

What I believe you are is depressed. Do you go through cycles of greatness and deep despair? Can you charm an entire room one day and then have trouble even getting up out of bed another?

When you say you feel forced to speak is it like some one operating a machine that is "you" as you sit disconnected and locked up inside the machine? The times I feel this way are the same times when I can't retain what others say, I'm locked away and they are just too far away, no matter how hard I try to listen.

By the nature of your question "are these feelings real" I see that you know there is something illogical going on.

Are they real? Yes, to you. Are they founded? No, probably not. This is the crux of depression/mania/anxiety. I, at one time could sit in a room full of friends and family and still feel that I was alone. Some of this is the bane of the intelligent and most is only the insidious darkness pulling at you and dragging you down.

You can only plunge ahead and keep your chin up for so long before you become tired and the darkness takes hold. It's okay to get things confused. Knowing that sometimes you misinterpret things at times is a tool, at least you're there enough to know somethings not right. But you CANNOT do it alone.

I hope you read this and then pick up the phone to make an appointment with a professional. It took me too long to do it myself and I missed many opportunities. Having to take medicine or go to counsiling doesn't make you weak it makes you stronger than most, being able to say "I need a little help". If you were diabetic would you think twice about having to take insulin? Many so called mental disorders are BIOLOGICAL such as Bi-Polar (which is what I have) also known as the genius' disease. Do you think Van Gogh would've cut off his ear if they had known about serintonin and the way the mind operates as an organ?

Please seek the advice of a professional, and if you want to talk to someone who's been there contact me, I would be more than happy to chat and help you find resources should you need them. You are a very bright and amazing individual, don't let this stop you.

Answer 3

Yes but they might be old emotions left over from another time. You are under stress to make good grades and this is normal as apple pie. Remember no one knows how you feel unless you tell them. Hang on and let those of us on the other side pull you through. Let go and just rest a minute once in awhile. There is a plan for your life but you may not know it. Come on. We're here. Reach out. We will pull you through.
You are easily touched. I can feel you through this page and I would not lie to you. Stay and learn. Come on now. You are sensitive. Hold on. There is a positive force.

Answer 4

I always found that intelligent people suffer from some type of mental distress or illness. It's a product of being a thinker.

You're a bit harsh with yourself. My philosophy is never saying to myself that which I wouldn't allow another to say to me. I would never let anyone call me stupid, so I won't call myself stupid.

There are some good counselling services available at many schools. Ask for an assessment. It may help.

Answer 5

I honestly can say that i am going through a similar phase in my life. i really felt seperated and alone from all my friends and family...like no one really understood me. i fell into a hole of darkness and misery.

but a couple days ago, i took a chance because i knew that there wouldn't be many left if i let my misery seep too deep within me, and i talked to some really close friends. that helped me realize so many things that i've forgotten, like how to laugh and be happy....the things i missed so much during that time..

and i realized, my happiness was nothing more than a perception..i guess you could say that during that stretch of time, i actually wanted to be miserable, i longed for loneliness and soaked in pain because that was all i thought about...

so my suggestion? take a headlong dive into the world of endless possibilities...take a chance and open yourself up to someone, life is too precious to spend it alone. you can only look up from where ur at. cheers.

Answer 6

I suggest applying the Buddhist analysis. When feelings or sensations come up, simply acknowledge them for what they are, and then let them go, pay them no more mind. It will only bother you if you dwell on it, running around in circles in your head. Just notice it, and then let it go.