how many kids are too many kids to have?

Question

i have 3 & i think anymore than that even is too much, cause of colleges, buying them 1st cars & giving them everything they need & want out of life...but my friends keep have more & more & it drives me crazy

Answer 1

Honestly, I think three is a wonderful number!!! I come from a family of three kids, and it worked out pretty well for me, haha.

I think that it varies from family to family. Much of it depends on the income of the couple.

I don't think I would ever want anymore than 3 though

Answer 2

It really is a personal decision. But honestly, I think you're looking at kids the wrong way. You are seeing them as liabilities, they should be assets. In the olden days that's how they were seen, so families had more (that and I would imagine the lack of birth control technology) ;). They needed their help on the farm or around the house, or in the factories to bring in income or whatever, they were assets.

Today we get so focused on giving them everything that we forget to teach our kids how to work for one, which is really the skill that will get them through life. (there's nothing wrong with a kid earning his own money for a car, or even college) But this mentality does cause us to see them as a liability.

Children are a joy and each child brings something else to the family. You can't buy the things they give just by being themselves.

So whether you have 1 kid or 12, they need to know that they are important and loved and needed. And they need to know the satisfaction of setting goals and accomplishing them, they need to know that they are needed as much as we do, they need to know how to work, since not only does that provide a greater satisfaction than anything, but you won't always be around to buy their cars and pay their way, and its a much harder lesson to learn when they are older.

For the record: I'm a 28yr old divorced mother of 2 kids. Not some old 'back in my day...' type or even a 'fanatical' mother of 20 who just broke out of the straight jacket ;). Just someone who is very grateful that my parents taught my 1 sister and I the value of work, but who has seen far too many 'spoiled' kids who don't even know what's really important and not only take it for granted the things their parents have handed them, but take their parents for granted as well.

Answer 3

Well if you are white and tend to be stupid any number over 1 is too much. Why should it drive you crazy? Are you one of these environmental people who thinks we are overpopulated? If you are this, I love how we are breeding to much, but in Africa and Asia they can keep plugging away I love how the only people who can have big families are other ethnic groups. Then white people wonder why they are being voted out of office and no one cares about them anymore. I also think it is funny how people are equating material(as in the need for cars, cell phones, and other things) are the keys to success. I think parents should have as many kids as they want and just be prepared if to sacrifice everything for the kids they have.

Answer 4

That's a decision to be made between the parents. How many can you afford to raise?

And you DON'T have to GIVE them everything. As they get older, they can be responsible and get a job and earn money to buy some of their own things. It gives them a great sense of pride to be able to buy something with the money they earned. Even if it's just doing chores around the house, raking leaves, mowing lawns, weeding gardens, etc. Children should be taught working for what you get is a good thing.

One of my sons is working full time and putting himself thru college. He isn't able to take a full course of classes but he's doing what works for him.

Answer 5

3 kids is enough. Having more children than you can afford monetarily, is too many. But who says you have to buy them their first car? I got my first car, after I had worked, and saved money to buy it. And who says, that you have to supply them, everything that the want. Need is another thing altogether. Tell you friends to mind their own business.

Answer 6

I think it depends on the person and how you want to raise them. My grandmother had 17 and all worked for what they wanted and she gave them what they needed. My parents only had 2 and that was enough for them. You can't determine for other people how many is too many. You may think that 3 is perfect but someone else may think that is just too many.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

Answer 7

If you only have children to go along with everyone else or cant really afford to have them-one is too much. If you have a really good relationship with your mate and can afford it-which is no easy task with today's expectations, 10 is fine.
Tell your friends to have the babies for you and you'll take them back when they're potty trained or graduated from college-whichever comes first.

Answer 8

People can have as many kids as they want, as long as they can afford to take care of them without the help of the department of social services. I know that sometimes things happen; such as losing a job, sudden illness, etc. and families need help, that is different. They deserve to be helped. I hate when people know they can't afford to have many children and do anyway. They figure that it's okay to "milk" the system.

Answer 9

well for me, 1 is too many. I am not having kids, seems to be a trend w young 20 somethings now. How is that going to help the population? Not that it's in trouble, still a lot of people in the world, and many who do want kids.

Answer 10

I have two kids and honestly, that's all I can handle. I wouldn't have minded a third, but it didn't happen and now I'm past that point in my life. I have a couple of friends who continue having kids, too (one is about to have her 6th) and for some reason it bugs me too! I don't know why. I have to tell myself that if they feel they can afford it and can physically and mentally handle it, fine, have kids until your uterus falls out. I don't get it, but that's just me.