I love my husband so much but i have no desire to sleep with him any more. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me??? we have been married of 14 years and have 1 daughter.
2007-04-23 11:00:41 · 30 answers · asked by pink lady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal for people to feel like this from time to time. You don't say how long this has been going on for and whether your husband has said anything to you or not? How do you feel about yourself at the moment? - sometimes if we don't feel good about us, like our bodies etc, it can make us withdrawl from sex i.e we don't feel sexy! You have been married a long time - everyone is different - someone who has been married for two years with no kids may view sex differently than someone in your position. Talk to your husband if you can - tell him you love him but have gone off the boil for a bit - maybe you can work together with bring things back on track. Don't panic about this, it will make the whole thing worse than it really is. Good luck.x
2007-04-23 11:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by Bexs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's funny I was talking to my best friend about the very same thing.She would always tell me that the weekend belonged to her and her husband and how they would spend
all day Saturday and Sunday in bed.I would ask her how can
you stand that,I love being with my husband and I love having sex with him she would say.After 19 years of marriage tell me
how do you still enjoy sex with your husband what is your secret I said. She said you work at it,you remember the first kiss and what it felt like,you remember the first time you saw him and that funny feeling you got when you were near him.
Three little words changed my marriage (It takes work) I thought like a lot of other people when you love and marry someone the feelings will always stay so when the feelings are gone you naturally think the love is gone to.The love is there it just got buried under a lot of outside influences,kids, arguing and time it's self.I no the hardest part is getting in the
mind frame.If you want to keep your husband happy make yourself get in that bed and when he touches you,close your eyes and put yourself back to the first time the two of you had sex,it does work because that is what i did I closed my eyes and the man who is touching me now is my boyfriend and I got pretty excided.If I can do it anyone can.I fell back in love with my husband all over again.
We have been married for 29 years this May.I hope this helps you. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-04-23 19:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm a man and you're a woman so it's hard to know what's happening here in your femail head, but speaking as a man I have always found that I am strongly stimulated by new partners and have never wanted to be sentenced to a lifetime of boredom by being forced to have sex with only one person for the rest of my life. This is not women's fault, it's just that men cannot perform without the right circumstances/stimulation, but women can because of your different physiology.
In your case, it may be that you need a change to get you started again, then you can go back to your husband re-invigorated. But being a woman I suspect that you could not get your head around this suggestion, it's not something that women generally can do, unlike us guys.
Alternatively, your hormonal balance could be changing because of imminent menopause which will reduce your interest in this activity. If you can't get a cure or fix for this problem, then give your husband your blessing to find sexual relief with others for the time being. His sex drive will outlast yours by very many years, in fact for most of his life, while you get old and uninterested.
2007-04-23 18:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by johnwilliamsbahrain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a woman is not simple. Your hormones could be going crazy, you might have some kind of issue that has not been solved, you may need more attention from him, there are a lot of things that might lower your libido. Ask yourself a few questions. Do you want sex, just not with him? You don't think about sex at all? Do you feel like making love, but your body doesn't? Try and think a little, maybe the answer is there, you just have not paid attention to it.
2007-04-23 18:13:30 · answer #4 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isnt anything wrong with you. Women just goe through changes like this. But you should find out if there is something that may be bothering you. The could be some hidden anger somewhere, or you may just need to spice up your love/sex life. I found myself like that before. But I suggested that my husband and I start spending more time together that would allow us to hold hands, snuggle and talk. This has helped. But one of the things that helped the most was my husband not pressuring me. My suggestion, talk more and spend more time together do things that will draw him in more to you.
2007-04-23 18:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by notablewoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should seek some counciling. I would suspect that there are some other problems involed that have nothing at all to do with the bedroom. The sex is just a symptom of all of the other things that are going on in your life and culminate in your lack of desire. Trust me a good sex life adds much to a long and happy relationship.
2007-04-23 18:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by Victor B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal. Maybe you both need to try new things in bed. Get a little more kinky. I've only been married for 2 1/2 years and there are times that i don't desire him, but when we go out or do exciting things it get me in the mood.
2007-04-23 18:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by jaliscience_chicana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it HIM you don't want to have sex with, or do you have no sex drive at all?
If you have no sex drive at all (i.e. you never masturbate) then there is probably something physical going on. See a doctor.
Otherwise it is a relationship problem, and there is something going on underneath that you can't or don't want to see. See a therapist. My suggestion would be to see an individual therapist on your own before attempting marriage counseling. It is much easier to figure out what is going on inside your head without your husband being in the room.
2007-04-23 20:43:48 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you tried really hard just one more time. Book yourselves a weekend away and although you might not feel like having sex just try you might realise you want it after all.
Sometimes a lack off sex drive is just down to the fact we cant be boverd and we just get lazy.
I'm not saying do something you dont want to do but please try make an effort.
Good luck hope you can sort this out. And try and talk to him about how you feel. Remember he will want to know whats going on to.
Boudicca speaks alot of truth.
2007-04-23 18:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not normal my dear. When a husband and wife have sex, a very powerful bond is formed which binds them together. If you really love you man like you say you do and you still don;t want to bond or connect with him,something is DEFINETLY wrong with you. I suggest you go for counselling.
2007-04-23 18:31:37 · answer #10 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋