Is wanting to kill your MIL a bad thing? (figuratively)?

Question

How can i detatch the strings she has on my hubby? Long story short: We moved to another state, and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Was he helping ME most of the time? NO, he was next door finishing up for his mother things SHE wanted to do. (instead of boxing things up he was finishing building her furniture. SHE ISN"T LACKING ANY FURNITURE...if you get what i mean.) Gave her two hundred bucks and had to work nights to make up more money so we COULD actually move. I mean, come on. THere's a little line between loving your mom, and ignoring your wife...Besides keeping at least three or four states between us (which i'm fully comfortable with) are there any other ways to cut his umbilical cord???!!!

She lectures ME on how to have our house. AND SHE SAYS (to my hubby) "Well HE already knows." Manipulative, bitchy, if she can't get her way everyone is miserable...I seriously just want to kill her. She is basically DEMANDING to be here when i have the baby. I DON"T WANT HER THERE!

yup. I understand how ya gurls out there sympathize. He doesn't stand up to me when his family is poking fun at me. (they like to call me barbie...I was always a tom boy and never liked them. but since i'm white and have a figure, they think it applies.) (They're all Indian)...

SADLY (or is it a good thing???) He doesn't know i deeply despise her. How am i going to deal with this? I know she gossips about me behind my back, says i'm going to be a horrible mother, and i don't EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE TELLS HIM ABOUT ME! How can i break the news ithat i think she's the spawn of satan?

********As with the killing part...figuratively...figuratively...********

Answer 1

Oh God No! Should she be there when your baby is born.You'll be in enough agony as it is. First child? You know....you can scream out alot of stuff during labor. Supposedly you don't mean it.At least that's what the nurses will say for you. You can say anything you want to her.everything you've been holding in.(and you can call your husband a mama's boy too if you want). You won't care what you say or who you say it to anyway during labor.No one will be exempt. Not the guilty or the innocent. Everyone will be fair game.( I'm a nurse & a mother,trust me on this.)And here's the best part of all ! Afterwards, you can say " you don't remember a thing." Seriously! Be glad you'll be a few states away from that evil spawn.(i had one of my own) At least you'll have your husband to yourself. He may suprise you and be glad to be away from her too. And here's one more thing you can look forward to.She's old and she'll die soon!

Answer 2

I'm one man that can feel your pain my mother in law must of come directly from hell. She called EVERY night like my wife was some little girl and to say she despised me would be a understatement. She also seem to make derogative statements about me when ever possible. My wife thought it was funny which pissed me off. My now ex wife and I had it out I told her I was fed up with all the BS and the soap opera scenes at our house she took her mothers side we divorced 3 month later and I was FREE!!!!

Answer 3

That's a tough one. I'm always amazed that men can't cut their ties with their mom, or at least put them in the right order of priority. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right after I got married, my wife and my mother got into a fight, and my mom was shocked that I stood behind my wife, no questions asked (helped that my wife was 100% right).

I assume that you have told your husband how you feel, and he ignores it? A dangerous assumption on my part, if you haven't told him, you need to. Distance always helps - the farther away you are from her, the harder it is for her to use your husband.

EDIT - Based upon your edit, your MIL is causing a stressful situation within your house - something you DO NOT have to put up with. If you tell you hubby that you don't want her there, your hubby should oblige.

Answer 4

Amazing how this is ALWAYS an issue with women, never with men.

As a matter of fact, it is not a bad thing at all, because mama's boy has to get some time, separation and focus away from his mom. It's okay, because you are a mature and nice woman. The question is how does your husband respond to all of this? Does he truly crave the acceptance of his mother more than you? Are you trying to compete on a motherly role basis (don't discount this, a lot of women want to out mother the mother ... don't be his mother, be his wife and lover).

Answer 5

I hate my mother in law too, and this is the ONLY this I can tell you... she loves him and so do you. You dont have to like each other, but you have to deal with each other, because of him, and you'll realize it's a small price to pay (eventually) but he wont always think of his mother that way, and you are his #1 he's just figures that you know that, talk to him.. tell him that he needs to show that.

Answer 6

Wanting to kill her is bad. You shouldn't kill anybody. It's not a human thing to do. As far as cutting ties with her. Maybe you & your husband are better off moving OUT OF THE COUNTRY. Your better off talking to your husband. He's the only one that can control the amount spent with his mother. It's really your husband's decision.

Answer 7

Girl I feel for ya. I hope it gets better, but let me just say I was married to a mamas boy and it aint nothing nice. He always took her side she never did anything wrong, it was always me. Needless to say we are divorced. She lived with us for 5 years, and when I asked him if I was to say pick your mom or me what would you say..he was like gee i dont know. She is still living with him...lol

Answer 8

omg thats crazy. seriously you should talk tohim and tell him he isnt living at home and his mom shouldnt require his attention and need ALL the time like that!! he has a new family to take care of... hope things get better

Answer 9

He's a momma's boy. That cord can stretch all the way around the globe.

Answer 10

Most mommas boys are hard to help...Since your going to be so far way now I wouldn't worry about it