grieving- I have lost 2 babies 1 at 17 weeks and 1 at 7 weeks how do I get through this and have another baby?

Answer 1

Believe it or not there are a lot of us out there that go just through this very same thing. I too have had losses - I had my tubes tied and then reversed. I got pregnant 3 cycles after my surgery to be a chemical but I believe the doctor jumped the gun. Then after giving up I found out on New Years I was pregnant again - to have a miscarriage 1/7/07. And still wanted to go on.
Yeah the bologna from the doctors is not very comforting...chances are you might have a good pregnancy next blah blah...we don't want to hear that, but we are seeking answers, advice and support.
There is a Good support group called Share, here is the link if you want their support
http://nationalshareoffice.com/

Answer 2

First, I want to say how deeply sorry I am for both of your losses. I have also had two miscarriages with out a sucessful pregnancy. Sometimes I ask myself this very same question.

What has been helpful for me is blogging/journaling. I've been able to get my feelings out in the open. I've also found great comfort and support from other women with similar experiences. Please feel free to read my blog:
http://miscarriagejournal (dot) blogspot (dot) com

You should know that everyone heals diffrently and grieves diffrently from a lost pregnancy. What is important is that you allow yourself to grieve on your terms and in ways that are best for you and your spouse/partner. However, with that said, don't let your grief consume you. In the days after my first miscarriage, all I could do was get up, get dressed and make the bed. That was all I could do, and that was all I did, and I didn't worry about it; and as the days and weeks passed I felt better and was able to do more and wanted to do more. Your babies were important to you, so give them the respect and love you would give any child who has passed away. If you feel very depressed, talk to your doctor, as you might be experienceing some post-partum depression. I had PPD with the second miscarriage, and it was totally unexpected and terrible. Also, your doctor or pastor/priest/rabbi/bishop might also be able to refer you to support groups or counseling. Do what you think is best for you...but never feel like you are alone. So many women and men have gone thru this experience. If you look, you will find people who can help.

There are many support groups online. I recommend:
http://www.nationalshareoffice.com
http://www.mend.org

National Share has groups that meet all over the country too, so you might be able to find a supoort group in your area. If not, there are message boards and chat rooms.

Good luck with everything. I hope you feel better soon, and that you find peace. God bless.

Answer 3

I've been through two miscarriages and I lost my six week old son. I know how heavy your heart is...

When I had the first miscarriage, I was six months pregnant. That was devastating. The second miscarriage I was 4 months pregnant and I thought my life was ending.

My six week old son passed away in 1994 and that loss still lingers in my heart. I miss him daily.

But after the rain, comes sunshine. I had my first miscarriage in 2002 and my second in 2003. I then got pregnant in 2005 and I have a 17 month old healthy daughter.

How do you get through this...At first, you must grieve. Don't hold it in. Let it all out. If you need to be alone, be alone but dont let it take you under. A week of grieving is enough (although you'll carry the thought forever of your child) by the 4 weeks you should be mentally through the shock. Be strong and begin to do what you need to do to get your body back healthy. Was it a medical condition or undetermined? If undetermined, inform your doctor that you would like to try again for another child. Your doctor can give you all the precautionary steps to take.

Be strong and if you believe in God, hold on to Him....

Answer 4

i definetly think you should go through it and have the baby becuz if u think about it, when ur in love n then u have to break up, ur stuck on this guy sometimes, right?? & if u got a new bf he would make u happy n keep ur mind off of the past becuz u got it good now. Well it`s like tha same with babies. If uve lost 2 & scared of losing another, you should try n try becuz i know when u finally push out a baby of ur own, you`ll love this one tha most becuz this baby made it thru what the other 2 didn`t, it`s like a message from god, a god-sent baby to you becuz he knows what uve been thru n i`m sure this one will be the very best! Good Luck n God Bless u and your newborn angel =]

Answer 5

It's hard to lose babies, but just remember that it's for good reasons. Miscarriages happen when something is wrong with the baby or the baby can't develop right.

I would suggest taking a break from trying to conceive for a few months and let yourself grieve. Start taking folic acid everyday if you aren't already (that helps the uterus become a very safe place for baby to grow).

Don't do anything too strenuous or stressful and just keep trying. Be patient, your time will come :)

Good luck

Answer 6

Don't worry. Everything will eventually get better. If you haven't talked to your doctor yet then you should try varying your actions/habits during pregnancy and stuff like that. Now I ain't no doctor or anything but maybe you should even try a different method of conception. Thats what my parents had to do. When my mother was 19 she got an abortion and then she tried conceiving for 10 years with only a couple miscarriages.

Finally they paid a hearty amount of cash and me and my twin brother were born excactly 8 months later as the 5th and 6th live birthed test-tube babies in Canada.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in February and fell pregnant after my first AF after the D&C. I am really scared with this one now. I feel it is really unfair for women to have to lose babies in a row like that. I pray it doesnt happen to me. I am just trying my best to stay strong...for positive or negative results. I am worrying but not stressing to where it makes me sick this time. I did that last time and the worry did nothing but cause me pain and the pregnancy ended anyways. I write in a forum that helps me a lot with pregnancy loss, the women on there are very supportive and kind, the link is: www.pregnancy-info.net/QA

Answer 8

i'm 8 w 6 d and had an abdomen united states2 days in the past. the toddler replaced into actually there. Vaginal ultrasounds do no longer strengthen the possibility of miscarriage! If that replaced into the case, then so could having intercourse. B/C a penis (on maximum adult males) is a lot bigger than the probe they use for the ultrasound. Plus, they do no longer jam the probe up against your cervix. it incredibly is achieveable that your dates are incorrect and additionally you're no longer as a techniques alongside as you concept you have been and due to this they are purely seeing a sac. the two have a vaginal US or wait for an abdomen one in a pair weeks.

Answer 9

This isn't the best answer but it has helped me to know that at least I can get pregnant. Every time I got pregnant and miscarried, up to 5 now, I just remind myself that I got pregnant and that maybe soon the doctor will be able to figure out why I keep miscarrying. I do have two healthy kids though so hope this helps. Oh yeah, also take your time in greiving you lost people who were special to you. Honor them in a way that is comforting to you. Good Luck

Answer 10

If at first you don't succeed try try again is your answer. I realize that my answer seems rather cold and callous but I assure you it is not meant to be. I am dealing with the loss of a spouse so I know kind of what you are going through. You may have something with your gestation cycle I do not know, but I would have myself checked out and monitored throughout the pregnancy.