I lied about having feelings for another person. Although I have not actually cheated on him because I haven't had sex with the other person. The thing is that he would ask me straight up if I had feelings and I just lied to him. He told me he doesn't know if he will ever trust me or if he even wants to have anything to do with me. I am hurting because that's the only thing I've ever lied about because the person i told him i still had some feelings for, we used to have a past. and he always told me that if i interacted with the other male, he would leave me. so i was scared. i never had intentions on cheating. i don't know what i was thinking. maybe because he has kissed two other females for a total of three times and i have forgiven him because he didn't lie about it. but now i've messed up and i'm in so much pain because we are so in love and i may have lost him forever. Can you please tell me if there's anything I can do to make things better between us or make myself feel better?
2007-04-23 10:17:00 · 15 answers · asked by stupidperson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When I read the first part of your question, I immediately concluded that the fault was on you; however, in reading the body of your question, I now see a bigger picture. Hmmm....this is a tough one. My immediate reaction would have been to advise you to move on, he's a control freak and you deserve better. That may very well be true, though, I don't believe all is lost here. However wrong it may have been to lie to him about your supposed feelings for this other person, remember that your love has lied to you, too. You may remind him of this and also the fact that his actions were easily forgiven by you. Kindly reference to him that people do make mistakes endlessly in life and that no one is perfect and that if he's willing to forgive you, as you've forgiven him for repeat "offenses", then maybe you two have something worthwhile to work on. However, if your Knight in Shining Armor will not hear of this and demands that situations are to be favored in his direction and that you are responsible for forgiving his faults, and yet he's in no way responsible for the same, then I would do best by my good well being and cut my losses, if I were advising you correctly. It would be a crying shame if you were to be caught up in a relationship where your were spiting yourself while giving the utmost best treatment to a man that is lacking in character that you could easily have found in other directions. You seem a very trusting and forgiving person, overall. One mistake that you make with a love of your's in your life shouldn't forever banish you to gruelling punishment. Is it really worth the sacrifice of your self respect and dignity? I would encourage you to thoroughly explore what this is really all about. Spend this time and give the both of you a time to breathe. Then come back and pursue what you feel you must pursue, if you so choose. You will certainly know, by his response to you and his tone, in what direction you should truly step. You know, you may have never thought of this before, but you have every power in your soul to turn down a good thing even if it's only 50% a good thing. These clues he's throwing your direction should be enough blueprint for your next move. Good luck, kiddo--I am confident that you'll make a very sound decision for yourself.
2007-04-23 10:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some space. Men aren't like us. When we get hurt we want guys to run and chase us and apologize and bring flowers. Guy's egos are sensitive and you really hurt him and as far as he's concerned you did cheat on him by having feelings for another guy and not telling him about it. You can't make him trust you, love you or come back to you. You can apologize and wait it out and see what happens. Maybe give it a week and call him. But it's going to be up to him. You may have blown it this time but there will be another love in your life and that time you will know what NOT to do. Good luck.
2016-03-18 05:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a control freak and is emotionally abusing you. why is it ok for him to cheat, kissing can be considered cheating to most people, and you can't tell him you care abouut someone else. you need to get out of that relationship becuase it'll only get worse. you told him you didn't cheat, this other person was in your life before he was but he acts on his cheating by having actuall contact with other people a number of times and he leaves you? girl let him go. its not worth the pain. he has no respect for your relationship because he puts his feelings above yours. don't even shed a tear. he's a loser and you deserve so much better than that.
2007-04-23 10:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is ask for his forgivness and if he don't give it then move on with your life and learn from the mistakes you made. Remember that honesty is the best policy and answer for everything in life. There are already too many lies around.
2007-04-23 10:21:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been in ur situation before but I would advise u to stop him and tell him the truth and tell him u would like to start over better foundation with him and try telling him that logically u didn't cheat on him. If he isn't willing to forgive forget him and forgive yourself.
2007-04-23 16:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OUCH!! yeah you screwed up. never lie, that destroys trust, and that's not repairable with a band aid. you might have just ruined it. move on. it will be better for both of you. if you pursue it, then he wil hold it over your head forever and you will be trying to make it up to him. you should apologize, and if that's not enough, then its time to move on for the better of both of you.
2007-04-23 10:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by Bobby L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a hard thing to get back.
All you can do is apologize to him and forgive yourself. If he is not willing to give you a second chance then you are going to have to move on.
Best wishes! (remember, when one door closes another one open up for you...pray about it!)
2007-04-23 10:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be. Maybe he'll come around. tell him you want the same treatment as you gave him: fogiveness, and that you never cheated. See what happens.
2007-04-23 10:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't think of anything. Major mistake. No room for repair.
2007-04-23 10:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL's said it all
2007-04-23 10:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by schuschtermat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋