my fiance was dateing this girl before me for 6 months. we'll 2 months after they dated she became pregnant he tried to make it work for 4 months but she was always mean to him cheating on him and just a instagator. she finally dumped him. about 4 months after, i met him we have been togther for 5 years now getting married in july we have a 3 year old son and im 12 weeks pregnant right now with our second. she on the other hand hates him wants to take him to court for child support but doesnt want him in her life. the last time he saw his daughter she was about a month old she is now 5. he is a great father to our son and is sooo excited about this baby. he takes care of our son emotionally and physically always playing cars with him to hes a big kid at heart. with his daughter he pays his child support he has no problem with it. he tried to give her our number in case she needs him for anything she refused it. do yous think shes wrong for doing this to him or do yous agree.
2007-04-23 10:13:37 · 20 answers · asked by mommy2brandon14212 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
hes planning on taking her to court just waiting now for a day off from work. but i think honestly he was waiting for her to call and say ok you can see your daughter now. but dont think its ever gonna happen im always telling him its not gonna happen. but what changed his mind now is her brother told him to take her to court because he needs to be in his daughters life and he told my fiance shes never gonna change her mind about it. i also agree i feel its jealousy to but after 5 years i would think she would be over it by now. but thank yous for advice.
2007-04-23 10:33:15 · update #1
yes he had dna test done thats his daughter she already took him to court for childsupport. the reason why its taking so long because in the beginning she played a lot of games when she was first born he always gave her money and diapers and saw her quite a few times when she was born. but then she found out about me of coarse and then she was fighting with him. she didnt want to be with him but didnt want anybody else in his life either. so then the one day he called to just talk about meeting and talk about a steady child support and talk about visition she yelled at him and then told him the baby wasnt his and had her number changed. for 3 years we didnt hear anything from her and just recently she took him to court. so thats why he hasnt been in her life. i would love to get visitation shes gonna be my stepdaughter. and i would love to have all the kids see each other. but what could i do right now were not even married yet.
2007-04-23 11:02:31 · update #2
yes ol' girl is wrong and all it is is that she is hating the fact that he is seeing him with. she hates seeing the fact that he is happy with you, about to get married to you, and having a wonderdul family. If she does take you guys to court, for one be there by his side to support him and make sure you guys tell the judge what is real. Because he seems like a good guy and was offering her lots of things. Now that you two are happy, she doesn't want this.
2007-04-23 10:19:24 · answer #1 · answered by llehctim0789 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this girl played around when your fiance was dating her, it's possible that he's paying child support for a child that isn't even his. But if she is his daughter, he most likely has an obligation to pay child support. But by the same token, he would also have visitation rights, so whether the mother wants him in her life or not, she will have to allow him to visit his daughter according to the ruling set by the court. You might remind her of this, and then maybe she won't be so anxious to take him to court. It's a longshot, but might work. Perhaps you should get an attorney to represent your interests if he does have to go to court. You have a son and another child on the way that he will have to support. So get married and make things legal for your kids, get a lawyer to represent you and your fiance. I don't know whether the other woman is right or wrong, as paternity suits are generally done right away and not five years after the fact. That's why you need a lawyer to answer those questions. But good luck to you and your little family.
2007-04-23 10:30:28 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she is wrong! I mean if he was a horrible person or a bad father, a danger to the child,... then I can see it. What he needs to do is go to court and get the visitation he deserves. Tell them the problems she is causing him and not letting him see his child. My daughter ADORES her father and as I am sure you know yourself every little girl needs daddy. He needs to start making sure that he gets that child in his life, or if he wants to let go he can sign away his rights and not have anymore problems with the crazy woman. But if he is as good as you say he is he needs to fight for his daughter no matter what the crazy woman is going to do. And I hate to bring it up but if she was cheating...? well I am sure you can guess what I mean. It is always wrong to use a child to make someone else feel like crap. My brother in-law went through the same thing and hasn't seen his 2 boys in years because he stopped fighting for them. Now they think there dad didn't want them and that is no way for a 12 and 9 year old child to feel.
2007-04-23 10:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by nl_masson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No child deserves to grow up w/o their fathers' presence in their lives. However, life happens and some people who are too immature to have children do; and thus the power play begins. To some, it may be easier to just pay child support & not have to deal with the drama that sometimes follows. In the long run, whatever decisions (or lack thereof) are made; the only one left hurting is the child. Imagine having to grow up and knowing that your father has a family that he loves and takes care of; yet he couldn't or chose not to do the same for you. Regardless of what type of person the other mom is; your fiance chose to lay down and make a child with her. What did he expect would happen? My advice, you should all put your differences aside and do what's best for all the children involved. It's never too late to start again.
2007-04-23 10:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by deviousone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I dont think she is right for putting him through that especially if he is trying to step up and take care of their child together. Perhaps court would be a good thing, meaning he can try and work out some kind of custody agreement so he can be in his daughters life. We had a similar situation in our family with my brother. If he is paying then the courts will grant him some kind of custody. This must be so stressful for you and your family. Im so sorry. I hate when people play games with children. I wish your family the best.
2007-04-23 10:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by KK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here's my opinion. You mention that he's a good father to your son and is soo excited about the baby on the way. But what about his other child? Does he go and pick her up so she can know her brother and sister? Does he take time with just her to be with her? Does he pay child support willingly or is it taken out of his check.
What you have to realize as the new wife, girlfriend, etc..there are two sides to a story. And regardless as to how disrespectful she was to him, the child had nothing to do with her behavior. it may not have been right not to take the number but have you asked him or her why she's upset with him?
2007-04-23 10:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So is he paying child support already or she's trying to make him?
If he's paying child support then he can take her to court to have visitation with her. The ex or the court cannot expect him to pay money for a child that he's not allowed to see or have a relationship with.
2007-04-23 10:21:17 · answer #7 · answered by charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disagree...shes totally in the wrong, but why hasnt he sued for visitation? Any good father would have taken her back to court for visitation long ago. Just my opinion. Sounds to me as if he has no interest in his daughter, other than the obligatory support payments. No court would have denied him that right to be a father.
2007-04-23 10:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by Invisible Pink RN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has every right to see his daughter and good for him for keeping up with the child support. YOu have yourself a good man.
Has he ever thought of sueing her for shared custody? It may sound harsh or not, but he has every right to his daughter and his daughter has every right and should know her dad.
Or he can talk with this ex and hope that she will change her mind about the situation, but if she hasn't in 5 years, then she probably won't, but it's worth a try.
2007-04-23 10:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by Proud mommy of 2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get a paternity test done to make sure it
is his child. Then if she is for sure his child he has
rights too. Take the mom to court and at least get
visitation rights established. But if she isn't his child
then he shouldn't be paying child support for someone
elses child.
2007-04-23 10:20:23 · answer #10 · answered by chmar11 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋